Still Waters Run Deep
by mysticmirage
Summary: "And I would rather you offer a virgin to the devil to pay for your sins than be treated like dirt just because you don't respect yourself enough" AU NM..B/J
1. Prologue

Trickle. Trickle.

More of the buried emotions and feelings leak. Bubbling to the surface. Saying there is more to it.

A deep-seated longing. A carefully hidden loathing.

More to stir. More to pour.

Just reach the brim. The object of yearning just a layer deep.

Wade throught the anger. Frustration galore.

Can't peel the mask. Can't reach the treasure.

Just break the surface to get a peek. Pulled in.

Pushed out.

Tantalizing. Tempting.

Cauldron of answers. Curtain of secrets.

Guarded by the unknown.

Whispering in the ear.

Its still, just the surface.


	2. Chapter 1 Major

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related! Just my crazy imagination.**

**Beta'd by SecretEmpath.**

**Jasper POV (birthday incident night)**

Beep. Beep.

Ignore.

Beep. Beep.

Ignore.

Beep. Beep.

This has been going on for the past five hours. My phone keeps beeping and I ignore it. The message is loud and clear, apparently not enough because she still keeps calling.

Time to myself - Unacceptable. She has to know everything.

Closing my eyes, I took in a deep breath and blew it out in a puff. The simple motion dimmed the echo of the beeps bouncing off in my brain. I dipped my head, letting the soft wind blow through my hair. It felt like a soft caress.

I was currently atop the La Push cliffs, listening to the soothing rhythm of the waves. It was quiet and peaceful, the complete opposite of the chaos in my head.

La Push, though has always managed to provide me with an illusion of calm. That is why I come here often. This place is my hideout. My refuge. An escape when I need a breather from the 'all-knowing' twins. And boy do they know how to grate on your nerves. Must be an additional gift I wondered.

Amused at my thoughts, I opened my eyes. The orange hue of the sun was just visible over the water surface. The simple beauty of it made me sigh.

This place has always managed to attract me. In times of distress or when surrounded by overwhelming emotions, this is the place the gives me a semblance of peace. The first time that I came here was just when we had moved to Forks. In spite of Carlisle having forbidden us to venture anywhere near La Push, the 'Major' in me just could not lie low when there was even a minute possibility of an attack.

Carlisle was convinced that the wolves had died out, but the treaty still held. The vampire in me though, needed to see it for myself. So naturally I came to La Push, I was also aware of the fact that I was not a part of the Cullen family when the treaty was formed and turning my back on all this was not acceptable by me. The added benefit though, was that Alice would not get a peep into my future so long as I was on La push grounds. Not that I needed it, I know plenty of ways to get her off my back or to sent her into a plethora of visions at my convenience.

I was not 'God of War' for nothing.

After my visit, though I couldn't not stop coming. The peace and serenity; the quiet of this place always seemed to pull me towards it.

This place though, funnily enough, always reminds me of Isabella. Not particularly her, but her emotions. Ever since I have met her, tasted her emotions all my visits here have reminded me of her. The purity of her emotions is always astounding. Till now, I haven't ever felt an ounce of malice from her.

I sighed. Her sweet scent still seemed to swirl around me; I could literally taste it on my tongue. When she had the paper cut, I didn't want to drain her, but biting is a completely different aspect. The only thing that ran through my mind when she had the paper cut was panic. Panic for what, I did not know. However there wasn't even an ounce of bloodlust. But then I felt Edward's and I knew that if I didn't do anything soon, he would attack her. It would have been a gruesome and painful death for her. Only her blood mattered to Edward, and he wouldn't be bothered if he broke her bones or tore out her throat.

I knew I had to do something. I was absolutely feral thinking that he was just on the verge of attacking. His fingers were clawed and his teeth barred. I couldn't have allowed that. I threw a bundle of protective and possessive feelings at him so that he would be distracted enough with the thought of defending his _meal_ while I got her away from him.

My plan worked.

The only thing that disoriented me was that, the thought of him draining her brought on an onslaught of protective feelings inside me that I didn't even know existed. Something similar had happened when I had seen a broken and mangled Bella in the ballet studio. Ripping apart James had brought such great satisfaction to me that I could have done it again and again. That time in Phoenix, I put off my thoughts on the pretext of the overwhelming emotions of the family rubbing off on me. Their worry for her and their relief when the sick bastard was killed.

But for today's incident, I had no justification.

Even in my protective haze I had monitored each of my family's emotions. They were all alarmed; it justified the surge of panic that rushed through me when I saw the first drop of blood ooze from her delicate finger. Although their feeling of dread quickly morphed into terror when I lunged. I was their sole focus; nobody paid any heed to the vampire who was just a few inches away from his singer.

Edward had managed to throw Bella behind him, into a glass table and was crouched defensively in front of her to protect her blood, his meal. Everybody mistook him for trying to protect her from me. And as always they trusted the golden boy the most, and formed a thick barrier between me and her.

I had lunged to protect, not attack.

I was dragged out unwilling by Emmett and Rosalie, I could have easily broken free but I let them. The protective haze had vanished and I couldn't believe that I was willing to kill Edward for food?

'Bella' not food, my subconscious scoffed.

Like I care. All humans equal food to me.

But I couldn't deny the fact that I have never felt as much love from a human as she exuded. Love for us. All of us. I shook my head. 'She doesn't matter to me' I huffed.

_Why would you save her then? Why did you want to kill Edward when he was about to lunge at her?_ These two questions swirled around in my brain, mocking me.

Because I didn't want Edward to hate himself for the rest of his miserable existence. I am sick of feeling his self-loathing emotions. I don't want to deal with them anymore.

That was a load of shit. I knew that. But it was a plausible excuse.

Damnit.

I don't care. I tried to convince myself.

I have always managed to stay away from her. At first it was because the entire idea of befriending a human was silly. You don't see a cougar being friends with a doe. It's against nature. But her emotions pulled me in, they were so pure, so undulated. It intrigued me, made me want to get to know her. The first time Edward brought her home made me want to laugh silly in his pretty little face. I had thought that the mere thought of being in the same room as seven vampires would make the girl have a heart attack from all the fear but she proved me wrong again and it was like a bucket of cold water thrown against my face.

She felt no fear. She just wanted the acceptance and approval from the family. What a funny human, I had thought. I had even wondered what it would be like to zap towards her, dip her in my arms while slowing rubbing my nose along her jaw. To feel her pulse while softly biting her neck and lap up her sweet blood.

Edward was so busy showing off his human that he did not pay any attention to my thoughts. I hadn't even tried to mask them from him. That thought had made me jolt back to reality and avoid the human like the plague. I didn't like the emotions she stirred in me. They were disorienting and unwelcome. She was just a human; a suicidal human at that, for wanting to hang out with vampires.

At times her behavior made me want to retch, she felt so unworthy and intimidated. She was like a puppet in Edwards hands. She had managed to mould herself into a person whose world revolved around Edward. There was love, over-powering love pouring off her for the whole family. She even felt love for Rosalie, who was nothing but a bitch to her.

I felt like slapping her awake at times, her behavior sickened me. It pushed me away just as much as it pulled me in.

Edward may not know Rosalie's true intentions but I did, she just wanted to protect Bella from Edwards over-bearing possessive self. But beneath all the bitchiness and cold glares was care, she cared that is why she made an extra effort to throw her off.

Edward judges people based on their superficial thoughts. That's what they are, momentary glimpses passing through a person's mind. People may or may not act upon them and Edward is a fool for basing his opinion on the tenure of a person's thought. He is a hypocrite, he spent ten years hunting humans and playing god in his own sick way. Draining people who had not 'committed' crimes, only 'thought' about them. Everybody has crazy and weird thoughts, most of which do not make sense. Nobody has complete control over what they think, human and vampire alike. Edward's view of the world is superficial and judgmental. No wonder he fell in love with the human. Her mind was closed and it called to him, almost as much as her blood. That was a bonus. He got sympathy and appraisal for his control as well as a gift with multiple layers. To unwrap each layer off to uncover the other.

But he was not uncovering the gift; he was molding soft clay into the gift he desired.

I, on the other hand though, notice everything. The emotions emanating from a person gives me more insight. Although I know not to rely solely on my gift. The southern wars taught me that much.

When a vampire solely relies on his gift, he meets his downfall. I have seen it too many times to know better than to not believe it.

I observe.

I notice how rejected and unworthy she feels when Edward pulls away from her. I can feel her hurt when she is thwarted by Rosalie. I can feel her glee when Emmett goofs around with her. I can feel her parental love and respect for Carlisle and Esme. I can feel her longing and awe when she sees us in all our vampire sparkling glory.

I can feel everything she feels and I can't say that it doesn't affect me.

The idea of a tiny little human stirring emotions in me was laughable, but it was true. I never openly talked to her or made any effort but a part of my vast mind was always monitoring her. I didn't know why I cared. I had somehow gotten attached to the doe-eyed girl. At times all I wanted to do was sink my teeth in her cream colored flesh, moaning at the taste of her blood. Other times I just wanted to flee away with her, to keep her in front of my eyes observing her every move.

I guess that the animal blood does fuck us up in the head.

I blew out a puff of air.

The human does not and should not matter to me. Today's incident has just put her at the forefront, I tried to argue with myself.

My phone shrieked again. I finally had enough and decided to answer. At least I get to stop the beeping, I conceded. Maybe If I just switch it off...but I needed to know.

I pressed the answer button and held the phone atleast a foot away from my ear.

"JASPER!" came the shrill voice of the woman I loved.

"I have been calling you for the past five hours. I can't see your future. You might have gone off and drained a human for all I know. How could you do that Jazzy? How could you do that to me? After all I have done for you. For us. You attacked my best friend. Edwards mate. WHY?" She ended in a sob.

I stayed silent. I wanted to listen to what my partner had to say. She says she loves me but refuses to trust me. Did nobody see or are they just refusing to acknowledge the truth? I am sick of carrying their burden, sick of making their lives better. I owe them nothing. It's time to end the facade.

"Alice. Listen very carefully to me. I did NOT attack Bella. All I did was try to save her from our BROTHER. Her MATE." I spat

"Don't lie-..." She started.

"I am not finished Alice, so do not interrupt me. I am tired, so very tired of having to take the blame all the time inspite of knowing that it's never really my fault. I am sick of you. You, who claim to love me and be my mate, not trusting me. I am tired of Edward constantly trying to read my mind, of you constantly seeing into my future to check whether or not there is a slight possibility of me draining a human. I have had enough of all the crap dished out to me. I..."

"Jazzy, you know I love you and that Edward and I are always looking out for you. We know what's best for you. Sweetie, you just need me by your side. Slowly with my help you will have superb control. You are just not strong enough to resist the call of human blood because of your...your...umm...'past', Jazzy. I will help you. Just come home. Come back to your mate and then all of us can have a family meeting and decide about the consequences."

Don't lose your shit. Stay calm. Breathe.

"Jazzy, what's wrong? Sweetie? Are there any humans around? Oh my god. I can't believe you. You're hunting humans. How can..." I did not let her finish.

The phone lay in minute pieces at my feet. So much for breathing in and out to maintain my cool.

I was careful enough to not make any concrete decisions. I did not want my all-seeing-'lover' to watch over me like a bloodhound. This has to stop. _I _have to put a stop to this.

I have always known that Alice and I are not mates. That's the main reason why I never married her. I want to save the one thing for my true mate. Although Alice always claimed that she was my mate and the we have a lovely future as a married couple, I always maintained my story of not beleiving in the institution of marriage and I have never budged from my decision. She threw fits, cried and left on week long shopping sprees but none of it ever really had any effect on me.

I cared for her. We were companions. She did save me in a way. But she also manipulated and used me. I may have stayed quiet but I am not a fool. In a way I have always felt like I owed her something. The gratitude I felt for her, fooled me into thinking that I loved her. I did everything for her but marriage. In the beginning I wasn't really ready for it but gradually as the years passed, I started to realize that I wanted marriage but not with her.

I felt ashamed at those thoughts. That was not how I was raised. I felt obligated to her and the family. I gave and gave and in the end landed on my ass a couple too many times.

Had Peter or Char seen me like that, they would surely have whopped my ass. Checking to see whether I had any manly bits left in me. I laughed out loud at that thought. I did miss them. My true family.

The Cullens though, I resent all of them except for Em and Rose. Rosalie truly has a heart of gold once you get to know her. She has been through so much that she has a lot of trouble letting people get close to her. Em is like my brother. People assume that he is an idiot, but can be such a smartass when he wants to. He just likes to goof around. I have been doing a good job of keeping such thoughts and feelings bottled up deep inside of me, somewhere Edward can never reach them and know my real thoughts.

When I had first moved in with the Cullen's, I was not aware of Edwards gift. Nor did he not bother to reveal it, even after assessing that we meant no harm. I was reluctant to share my past history with them so early and had decided to get to know them first. It's never easy to share such a life altering history with a bunch of strangers, but Edward never gave me the chance. He went off and rattled of my past in intricate detail to the whole family. To say they were shocked would be the understatement of the century. Amongst their pity they felt wary and scared, but above all disgusted by me. I felt unworthy and it took awhile before they accepted me. Or slowly started tolerating me in their lives if I say so myself.

But incident made me strive to find a way around Edward's gift. And I did.

As vampires we are able to think of many things at once, and Edward is able to read what is at the fore front of our mind. Getting around his gift though was not easy. What actually happens around us, makes use of all our memory data to intercept it. For example, if I see a red rose, the very simple thing can trigger too many thoughts and memories, like; the red color might remind me of the blood of the humans I had drained, or of the dress Alice had worn. It happens to humans as well.

A simple scene or view makes our mind drift through many other parallel thoughts. Edward is able to read all those connecting thoughts too. It took me some time but with the help of meditation, I was able to figure out a way to at least block most of my thoughts from him. Who knew meditation could help vampires as well. But I was grateful nonetheless.

Now, all the interception happens at the back of my mind, completely out of reach to Edward. My forefront then generates thoughts that are unable to connect in any way with the thought process going on at the back. I can also just go into a meditative state and Edward cannot get a peep into my mind at all. I do that when I just want to sit and think which is often. He keeps complaining of how my behavior is rude and unacceptable, even Alice had the nerve to tell me to keep my mind open to Edward at all times. We often fought over that. I was not willing to relent my privacy. We would fight and she would leave for a few days to go shopping. How shopping was the solution to all of it I never really understood.

I have done a lot for Alice. I live with _her _family, I dress as _she _wishes, I go to school, and I have changed my diet. The last one has its repurcussions.

We vampires are meant to have human blood, you can't change that. And if you do, you have to face the consequences. I have felt weak eversince I started feeding from animals. The animal blood also makes the process of our body parts fusing very long and painful. I have had my limbs torn apart multiple times when I was with Maria, they would never take more than a few minutes to fuse back. But when I had ripped Edwards arms apart, it took Carlisle a good six hours before his arms were finally reattached. Ahh! Beautiful memories. Although he shouldn't have interrupted me while I was hunting. The nosy fucker had actually approached me while I was feeding to tell me that my hunting wasn't neat. Two drops of blood on my shirt cost him his arms.

I smiled at the memory.

It's time to deal with my family now. Family that used me andabused my trust. Well, I used them too. I have lived with them for the past fifty years just for a break. I got so tired of the constant action and fighting in my life with Maria that I just needed a break. I needed to just relax and experience the truly boring and utterly monotonous life of the Cullen's.

I needed to heal.

Well, I did heal to some extent. I have seen so much in my life, done so much, most of which I am not proud of. The scars are still there, physical evidence of my monstrous past. They remind me of the atrocities I committed, the lives I have taken, the vampires I have killed, each and every day these scars remind me of who I once was.

Although I am much better than I was before, the pain is still there. I think this is my purgatory. I will have to spend the rest of my life like this. I will never be whole again.

Even after I left the wars with Peter and Charlotte, I could not adjust to living the life of a nomad. They were with me in the wars, fought alongside me and thus constant a reminder of my past. So I needed to get away, it's like I had this constant void in my chest which no matter what I did, did not fill.

I knew I had to get away from them and be alone so I could start to heal. Forget and forgive myself for what I did. Fortunately or unfortunately I bumped into Alice, she was so bubbly, so full of life. Hers were the first positive emotions that I had felt in so long. I could not miss the chance to let go of them, so I readily agreed to go with her in search of the Cullen's. Peter and Charlotte were saddened by me leaving; they wanted to repay me for sparing their lives, by helping me heal. But they let me go.

They would be so upset seeing me like this now.

I am not going to be a puppet anymore though. The Cullen's only proved to be pain medication that I got addicted to because it gave me temporary relief from the constant pain. It is unhealthy. After moving in with them, I felt so unworthy because of my past that I covered their mistakes, took the blame. My one and only regret though will be that I never got to rip Edward's head off, but that can be remedied, I just have to wait for my chance.

I don't have to prove anything to anybody. It's my life and I am proud of what I have accomplished. And I will not let Edward belittle me for the things I had to do in order to survive.

The Major is back. The Cullen's should be worried, very worried.

Major Jasper Whitlock does not take shit from anybody.


	3. Chapter 2 My Life

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight related! Just my crazy imagination.**

**Beta'd by SecretEmpath.**

**Bella POV  
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_"Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin._

I felt him brush his lips against my forehead; it lasted only for a second but I reveled in the feeling of it. His vanilla scent swallowed me whole, pulled me in, but when I opened my eyes, he was gone.

I frowned at the surrounding trees, positive that he will come back. Softly brushing my fingers over my forehead, I could still feel the lingering cold of his stone lips where he had just kissed me. Squinting at my surrounding, I prayed that he would jump out from behind a tree, tell me that this was all a joke and hold me, envelop me in the safety of his arms and never let go.

"Edward?" I called out softly, looking around. He will come back, I stubbornly tried to believe. I knew the truth in the back of my head but I refused to acknowledge it. He loves me. I am his Mate. He cannot leave me. We are supposed to be together, forever.

"Edward?" I tried again even more softly. Srcunching my forehead, I squinted even harder but was unable to see anything except vast greenery that surrounded me. Moving around in a circle, I looked around everywhere but he wasn't there. Not a single sign to prove that he was ever there. No footprints, no rustling of leaves. Nothing.

I felt dizzy as realization hit me. He Left.

"But you promised." I whispered as my vision began to blur, tears clouded my eyes. I furiously blinked them away but it was no help, they kept coming.

_It will be like I never existed._ I have my own personal scar from your kind to prove that you do.

_Memory like a sieve. _Not really. All my thoughts concerned you. I only have memories of you.

_Distractions._ Not for me. For a long time now, you have been my sole focus.

His words spun around in my head, bouncing back and forth. Slowly increasing in volume, reaching a made fever. Repeating over and over like a chant. I covered my ears with my hands, wanting the echoes to go away. But the buzzing in my head did not stop.

Did he _ever_ love me?

The buzzing died, leaving silence in its place. Somehow making me wish for the buzzing to return. The silence was more haunting. My chest constricted. It felt like someone had a chokehold on my heart, squeezing it ever so slowly, ever so tightly.

He really left. Did I really mean nothing to him? Was I just a distraction for him like he said?

I wrapped my arms around myself to try and alleviate some of the pain in my chest- failing miserably.

Tears were now flowing freely down my cheeks. I tightened my arms around myself, but no matter what I did the pain would not go away. I looked up at the sky and screamed, "WHY?"

Not only did he abandon me but the whole family left. The people I considered family, abandoned me. They did not even spare me a backward glance.

I had considered them my own. Loved them all unconditionally. Loved them all more than I should have, more than I loved my own family. But they left. My breaths started to come in shallow gasps. I felt like I was falling apart. No one loves me; I am all alone.

Alone.

That one word made my chest constrict even more. The chokehold on my heart disappeared, it now felt like someone had ripped my heart open and, in its place, there existed a gaping hole which expanded with each breath I took.

I have never witnessed any sort of family love; any sort of display of affection that made me feel wanted and loved until the Cullen's came into my life. Esme's hugs, Carlisle's advice and paternal love, Rosalie's bitchy attitude, Emmett's boisterous nature, Alice's bubbliness, Edward's brooding and Jasper's aloofness. It was a family. _My_ family. They left me. They casted me out from the only place I thought I was loved.

"WHY?" I screamed again, even louder and fell down to my knees, my palms resting on the ground. I was breathing heavily, my chest nearly heaving. I clenched the grass underneath my palms and pulled hard. My screams turned into gut wrenching sobs. I cried for the family I loved. The family I lost. I mourned them.

I cried, sobbed, punched; did everything I could to make the pain go away.

All I did was love them. I did not deserve this.

"I did not deserve this" I screamed at the sky. My throat hurt but I didn't care.

I wanted to kick and scream, do anything to get this abandoned feeling out of me. I felt so hopeless, betrayed and hurt. My entire life revolved around them. This extended family of mine meant more to me than my own family. It's not that I don't love Renee and Charlie, I do, but I have always craved the affection and care that I got from Carlisle and Esme.

With Renee, it was always me taking care of her, correcting her mistakes, participating in every one of her crazy whims. Just being there for her, but now she has Phil to do all that for her and doesn't need me anymore. Charlie has lived without me for seventeen years and although he loves me, we lack the normal father-daughter relationship. I can never go to him with my problems or ask for any advice, I just find it awkward. It's like I have settled into an unspoken routine with both my parents which is convenient for them.

But I don't like it, I want to be hugged, told that I am loved, have someone take care of me and not the other way round. I love my parents, a lot, but they never express it. Neither do I. But it doesn't mean I don't want it.

I want a hug when I enter the house. I want my mother to cook my favorite meal for me. I want my dad asking me about my day and give me a swift kiss on my forehead. It's crazy and childish but I want it all.

I had to mature too fast and I missed most of the things that normal young children experience. I have never opened up to Charlie and Renee like I did with Carlisle and Esme. They knew it, they all knew it and still they left.

The edges of the gaping hole in my heart flickered, it pulsated to some kind of music of it's own, feeding on my pain. I feared that it may close in on itself, leaving nothing in it's place. That thought scared me. I was not going to let them affect me in such a manner. I cannot let them rule my life, or my thoughts. I am a stronger person.

As time passed by my sobs quieted and I started getting angry.

I had loved him. I had loved them all. I accepted them, never once judged them. Hell! I wanted to be like them. I was ready to leave my family behind, my entire life behind, for HIM. It didn't mean anything to him, I was just a distraction. A shiny new toy to amuse them in their boring life. My clumsiness was entertaining, my blush was funny, and my humanity was intriguing. I was just a source of entertainment, something to play with, and discard when you get bored.

Edward was right, but only partly, a few vampires are soulless.

"AHHHH" I screamed out loud trying to claw at the ground beneath my fingers.

I had loved them so much. If this is what I get for loving him unconditionally then 'screw him.' I don't want it. Screw them all to hell. The burn is my chest was quickly being replaced by anger and hate as I started to think about them.

_ESME_. She was, in every aspect of the word, a mother to me. Always fawning over me and taking care of me, not the other way round like with Renee. For the first time in my life I felt like a child and not an adult. I never really got to enjoy my childhood as I was forced to be mature and responsible in order to look after Renee. I liked being cared after, for a change. I had always craved the motherly affection I got from Esme. For once, I got to be a child in my whole fucking life. BUT 'mothers' don't abandon their children. They don't just up and leave their children like this. She herself called me her daughter. Well a fan-fucking-tastic mother she proved to be. I did not even deserve a goodbye in her eyes.

_EMMETT_, my Emmy-bear. He was like the best big brother one could ask for. Sure he'd laugh and make fun of my clumsiness. And also the fact that I'd blush for no damn reason at all. I was his little sister. WAS. 'Was' being the key word, because big brothers don't leave their baby sisters like that, especially accident prone sisters like me. Even though he made fun of me, I knew he loved me. Well, now I know the truth. He never loved his baby bells enough to stay with her or to even say goodbye.

_ALICE_, my best friend. No, correction, my ex-best friend. She isn't a best friend of mine after this. I had loved her to pieces and this is what I get in return. She wouldn't even treat her Jimmy Choo shoes the way she treated me. She just discarded me like some worn-out piece of cloth. I hate shopping but I still put up with her shopping shit so as to not hurt her feelings. I played 'Bella-fucking-barbie' for my pixie sister. I did all that for her and she just left me. No goodbye

_CARLISLE_. The father figure. Always the voice of reason. I snorted. I now think that the voice of reason is muted. Otherwise he would have not let the family leave like this without any explanation or even goodbye. I deserved a closure. But no, the coven leader took the easy way out and let his immature son deal with this- i.e. my heart. Carlisle let his family use me as a toy; I was a toy for Esme to be a mother to, for Emmett to play with, for Alice to play Bella –barbie with, for Rosalie to be a bitch to and for Edward, just to experience what love is. I was worth shit to them.

_ROSALIE_. That fucking bitch. She took bitchiness to a whole new level. I don't know what to call myself, because I let her be a bitch to me, let her run all over me and still went to her like a lost little puppy. Fuck my life. I let her treat me like shit. I FUCKING LET HER. And now I missed out of any fucking chance I had to put her in her fucking place. And let me clear something, her leaving does not hurt me at all. She is just a vain bitch. Her leaving is like a blessing, who wants to deal with a vampire stuck in PMS mode forever. I don't know how Emmett puts up with her. Gee, I feel for him. But after the shit I am going through, I think he deserves her. See I have the bitchiness trait after all.

_JASPER_. I don't blame him at all for the birthday incident. He is a vampire and I am his natural food source- tripping and oozing blood at every given opportunity. Jasper was wary during the party, guarded when I had the paper cut, and plain fucking mad when Edward decided to play 'treat-for-vampires' by throwing me on the glass table. All I could see on his face when he lunged was anger, pure iron hot anger. I wonder why? I will file that away for later. Jasper was always aloof. I have always wanted to get to know him, he was so intriguing, but I never got the chance. My vampire bodyguard would not allow that, with him being the newest vegetarian and all. My two favorite people, Alice and Edward made sure of that. Fucking idiots. Like Edward, Jasper too deserved a chance to desensitize himself of my scent. But NO. The two meddling bastards would not allow that.

'Would not allow that.' Who was I, a fucking two year old? I finally fucking realized I let them control my life. The all-seeing pixie and the mind reading pansy controlled my life. And I let them.

'Bella I saw you doing this today,' or 'Bella baby I read that man's thoughts'…blah, blah, blah.

I felt like a veil was being removed from front of my eyes and it all became clear to me. I finally knew their true selves. They were not alluring anymore. They looked just like a fucked up bunch of pretend-to-be family to me now. They used me, toyed with my feelings, they were no better than James; he, however, did not pretend to love me. The Cullen's definitely are the worst of their kind. They made me trust them, love them, depend on them and when they got bored, they just discarded me like yesterday's trash. They did not hunt humans, but toying with their feelings was ok. There is no more love for them in my heart, only hate. I hate them all and I wished there was a way for me to let them feel it, make them pay for treating me like this.

Although, I am glad for them leaving, it finally made me realize that I wasn't myself at all when I was with them. The Bella in phoenix was fiercely independent; she never let anybody control her life. The Bella in forks was the complete opposite, always looking for approval, always feeling unworthy, always intimidated by their beauty and grace. Fuck my life all over again. In loving Edward and his family I completely lost myself. And I think my old self is now back. Only much stronger and confident.

I, Bella Swan, am taking my life back.

…..

**So? Do you like it? Review and let me know.**

**I also want to clarify a few things, Bella loves her human family, they love her too but she preferred the Cullen's because they made her feel loved. Sometimes only loving your family is not enough, you need to express it too by small gestures, nice words etc. just because you feel it that does not mean the person knows it, one has to make the person feel it too and Bella never felt it from her parents, Renee took her for granted and Charlie was never around. So the bond and love is there, just not very strong. This explains why she depended and looked for approval so much from the Cullen family. You have got to express your love and once you 'know' you are loved, you are willing to make changes and sacrifices for that person. That's just what Bella did and in making those sacrifices and pleasing the Cullen's she was moulded into a completely different person.**

**Love-amie**


	4. Chapter 3 WTF

**Thank you to all those who reviewed, fav'd or put this story on alert. XX**

**Beta'd by SecretEmpath.  
><strong> 

**Bella POV**

****After what felt like a lifetime, I finally managed to calm myself down enough to stand. I was wobbly on my feet but held onto a nearby branch for support. My palm was scraped from all the scratching and clawing I had done. The tiny pricks of pain shooting through my system were welcomed, they managed to keep all the anger and grief at bay.

I looked around once more and etched the scene in my mind. This is the place where everything changed- where I changed. I finally realized and acknowledged all that had been in front of my eyes for so long.

Taking in deep breaths, I tightened my hold on the branch for a second, the momentary pain that shot through my hand brought me back to the present.

I tilted my head up and looked at the darkened sky, cursing myself for being so ignorant. Charlie must be back home worrying about his only daughter's whereabouts.

I turned and tried to trace the path that I was sure would lead me back home. With a final squeeze to the branch that supported most of my weight, I trailed back home.

While making my way through the vast undergrowth and narrowly avoiding tripping over a branch, I felt like patting myself on the back for being smart enough to not follow Edward deeper into the forest. I would surely have gotten lost and probably eaten by an animal- just my luck.

I must have looked like shit, puffy eyes and messy hair, and stressing out Charlie was the last thing I wanted to do. So I tried fixing my hair on my way back, picking out the tiny twigs from them and tying them up in a tight ponytail. I wiped my face using the hem of my shirt and fisted my hands while furiously rubbing my eyes. I dabbed my face with my palms and adjusted my clothes just as the house came into view.

I'd just reached the house when I noticed that the lights were off. That's funny, Charlie should have been home by now. I picked up my backpack from the truck and unlocked the door. "Dad" I softly called but did not get any reply.

I started flipping the lights on as I made my way into the house; it was empty. I was starting to worry about Charlie and decided to call him at the station when I saw that telephone was flashing, signaling I had a message. I went over to the phone and pressed the play button to hear the message. It was Charlie. Thank God.

"_Bells there has been an emergency in Seattle. They want me there and it might take me a few days before I can be home. Take care sweetie and call me if there's any trouble. Stay out of harm. Love you"_

"I love you too dad" I whispered. I truly did. Somehow listening to his message made me feel better. I felt lighter, like a weight was lifted off my chest.

I just needed to be assured that I was loved and my father did just that. I replayed his message again, just to hear him say that he loved me.

Today in the forest after Edward left, I felt so unloved and alone, it felt like I wasn't worthy of their love. But I _am _worthy of love, my father just made me realize that. _It's _them who don't deserve me. I accepted them, whole heartedly, for who they really were, but they truly were not worth it. They weren't worthy of _me_. A family that abandons a person- a person whom they assured was a part of their family- has lost all respect from me. They only feeling I have left for them is hate.

I took in a deep breath and made my way towards the kitchen, feeling much better. My steps were lighter and had a noticeable pop to them. My throat was parched. Yeah, screaming and crying for hours would do that to you. I had just finished half of the bottle of water when I noticed a note was taped to the fridge. I pulled it off and read it, wondering if maybe Charlie had left it for me.

_Going for a walk with Edward, up the path_, it said. _Back soon, B_.

ARGH! That self-righteous prick left this note, that to in my handwriting. The nerve!

What did he expect would happen? Did he really wish for me to ge lost in the woods? Did he leave this note for Charlie, so that he would find his only daughter alone and lost in the god-damn forest. Did he really want me and my father to go through that? Is that why he took me to the forest to break up with me?

"Fucking asshole"I growled.

I growled?

I was so angry, I started shaking. I tried to calm myself down by inhaling deep breaths and walking outside the door, hoping that the open space and clear air would help tone down the anger; It did. I was able to calm myself down enough to stop vibrating. I gulped down huge breaths of air through my mouth, their cool path down my throat quenched the anger bubbling at the surface some.

I has just calmed down enough to make my ay back into the house when my sight fell on the note clutched in my hand. This time though, I couldn't stop the uncontrollable shaking. The angrier I became, the less control I had of the tremors that shook my whole body. My vision was starting to blur and my joints were hurting. I growled loudly and started convulsing.

What the hell is wrong with me? I think I'm having a seizure. It hurts so bad. I crouched down while my neck rose, my palms fisted as I fell down to the ground. It just kept getting worse and worse. I could feel the joints shifting in my body, the tremors building in my stomach and rippling through my body. My back arched off the ground and then…then it was all over.

I took in a deep shuddering breath. Thanking the lord that it was all over.

I tried to stay still, fearing that any movement might cause the pain to start again. After a while when nothing happened to trigger the pain, I started to mentally give myself a once over.

I was still reeling from the sudden change, but I felt wonderful. I have never felt better. My breathing was hoarse, it sounded like I was panting. I felt different, good different; but who cares, no pain and the vibrating had stopped. My eyes were closed and I was just basking in this amazing feeling when a huge gust of wind blew past me, making me frown. I could feel it all over my body. Was I naked? My hearing was also extremely sharp, I could hear the footsteps of a doe as it ran east and I somehow knew that it was a mile away.

I was dreading opening my eyes, I don't know why, but I knew that something had occurred - An irrevocable change.

I slowly opened my eyes, one at a time. Oh my God! My vision is superb. I can see so clearly, I can see everything, from the dust motes floating in the air to the granules of mud surrounding my paws. The air smells so different, so strong. I inhaled deeply and was relishing the different smells; I could literally taste them on my tongue.

Wait. Back up. MY PAWS? I mentally squeaked and tried to jump around. I looked here and there, turned my head around and saw that my body was black, silky smooth. I started freaking out again, jumping around in an awkward fashion. I wanted to shake this..this...this, whatever it was, off.

'Not real'

'Not real' I chanted.

Maybe I'm asleep and all of this is just a dream. Yeah just a dream. Any moment I am going to wake up. I have to wake up. I can't even pinch myself awake. Stupid paws, I cursed. I continued dancing and hopping around like a loon, but nothing happened. Stupid brain has me freaking out even in my sleep. I turned my head around and looked over my shoulder again. Nope. I mentally popped the 'P'. Still the same. The only difference now is I can see a tail. MY tail. Fuck. Wake up. Wake up I screamed at myself. No sound came out, just some hoarse panting. Urgh.

_GROWL._

Ehhhh! I mentally shrieked. That growl was scary. But I don't see an animal around.

I felt this rumbling in my chest and throat, GROWL. Eh! I tried to shriek again but soon realized that it was me who was growling. I can growl? I can bloody growl. Where was my growly-self when Edward was being such a pansy. I wish I was able to growl today in the forest, it would have been so much fun. I am sure Eddie darling would have pissed his pants. I know that's not possible, but I would have growled until he actually pissed - venom at least.

I was looking around with my super eyesight, everything looked so different. It was night time but I could see everything. It was all so clear, just the colors were a bit different. I could see a few birds in the sky. I could see the leaves rustling with the wind. I could see the stars, there are so many of them. Wow. I could see a spider on the trunk of a tree weaving its web.

Everything looked beautiful. I felt mystified. The stars are so beautiful. With wide eyes I gazed at the mesmeric beauty that was the night sky, I could even spot the planet mars, a blob of dusky red on the pretty canvas of black and dark purple, sprinkled with stars all over. Enthralling.

I do not know how long I stood there and gazed at the sky. It must have been hours or minutes, I did not care. I could spend a lifetime looking at the night sky, my eyes were wide, taking in as much as possible.

I was about to take in a deep breath and try and distinguish all of the smells when suddenly I heard a howl. Shit! Now that certainly wasn't me. Maybe there are wolves around. And what if this is a dream but the wolves were real.

I didn't want to get up in the middle of the forest to hungry wolves. They'll tear me apart. Yeah 'Chief Swan's daughter, Isabella Swan meets a horrifying end- Eaten by wolves.' I could just picture the headlines.

Maybe I just need to relax. All this freaking out is not helping. I breathed in and out. In and out, trying to calm myself. I would be awake soon and this weird dream will end. I just have to calm down. Maybe I can try falling asleep in my dream. How bizarre is that?

I sleep to dream, and in my dream I try to sleep. That doesn't even make sense. But I thought that this crazy behavior was much better than my stupid dream.

I lay down on the floor, still practicing my breathing exercises and rested my large head- so not paying attention to that-between my paws. In and out. Just breathe.

Breathe in and breathe out.

Breathe in and breathe out.

I felt this shimmering feeling travel up my spine and I was suddenly feeling very chilly but it didn't bother me so much. I slowly pried my eyes open, one at a time like I had done before and peeked at the mud below my face. I was lying face down on the ground…NAKED! Shit! Shit! Where are my clothes?

Oh my! The mud looks so pretty, there is red, there is grey and so many other colors. Love you, superman vision. I stood up and looked around, and just to make sure my tail was gone I bent down at the waist and looked over my shoulder. Hmm. Thank God.

But why am I naked? And why is my vision and hearing so intense? Maybe I am still asleep. I pinched myself hard. Ouch! It hurt.

Holy mother of God! This shit is true. All of this is real. I just got transported to some alternate universe in which I have a tail and paws.

Today's entire day is fucked up. First shithead breaks up with me and takes his family away, leaving me alone in a god-damn forest, then I breakdown. Although it did make me realize just how foolish I was to have involved them in my life. I did at least acknowledge all that was going on in the back of my head- that I was just stubborn enough to ignore.

Crazy. Then I get mad at Edward's stupid note. Just the thought of it made me angry again. 'Why me?' I mentally sobbed. I tried my breathing exercises again and was able to calm myself down.

Shit! I am doing all this naked.

Here I am standing buck naked and going through all that has happened in the past twelve hours instead of going inside the house and getting dressed. If anyone were to see me now, they surely would assume that I have lost my mind. I'm still unsure about that.

It thundered loudly as I turned around to get back in the house. I entered through the back door, directly into the kitchen. My stomach was grumbling loudly. I picked up a granola bar from the counter as I made my way upto my room. I needed to get dressed first.

In a very dramatic manner, lightening struck just as I spread open my bedroom door, casting a white glow across my room. I flicked on the lights and fished out my boy shorts and tank top from the drawers. I pulled them on and plooped down on the bed. Phew! I was exhausted.

My stomach growled loudly, making me groan. I just want to sleep. Grudgingly I went back to the kitchen and decided to heat up one of my pre-cooked lasagnas. Just the thought of the lasagna made my mouth water. As soon as it was done, I dug in and finished it in five minutes flat. Man! I really must be hungry. I pulled out a soda from the fridge, downed it and supressed the burp bubbling in my throat. I lay a hand on my now full stomach and started drumming my fingers on it.

I went to the kitchen cabinet and took out the box of ferrero's I kept there. Only two were left. I unwrapped them both and popped them in my mouth making my cheeks protude from both sides. Yum!

I was finally sated.

Trudging my way up to my room, my eyes drooping already I fell face first on the bed; and moaned, I was really drained and just wanted to sleep.

I tilted my head and looked out of the window at the thundering sky, it was going to rain. Not wanting to hear the pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the rooftop, I grudgingly got up to shut the window and pulled the drapes closed. I also pulled out the ear plugs I kept in my bedside drawer and put them firmly in my ears so that I could sleep peacefully.

I can think all of tomorrow and sleep for now. I hope that everything would be less fucked up tomorrow. With that thought I was off to la-la land.

**What do you think Bella turned into? Review and let me know.**

**XOXO- amie**


	5. Chapter 4 Crazy

**Yay! Thank you so much for your reviews. Each and every one of them brought a huge-ass smile of my face. XX**

**Beta'd by  
><strong> 

**Bella POV  
><strong> 

_"Bella." Someone softly called my name. The voice that called my name was so soft, so reverent. I slowly opened my eyes, it took me a while to adjust to the sparkling sunlight. I could feel the soft tingle of warmth spread over my skin. I just wanted to close my eyes and lie down on the soft grass to cherish the sun._

"_Bella" the same velvety voice called out again._

_I looked around.__I seemed to be in a meadow, __but __not Edward's meadow. This one was different. This one was more beautiful. A lush green carpet of grass adorned it, with a beautiful tiny pond at the front. Two huge rocks were beautifully placed at the side of the pond._

_My eyes greedily raked everything before it fell on the most beautiful sight ever. A beautiful shirtless Jasper perched on one rock. His head was thrown back with a soft smile playing on his lips. He clearly enjoyed the sun._

_The sun shone brightly but Jasper __didn't __sparkle._

_He glowed._

_My breath got caught in my throat. So beautiful and yet so simple. That was Jasper._

_He looked ethereal. I __just __wanted to run my fingers through his beautiful blonde curls. They looked so soft, my heart yearned for his touch. His smile widened making me blush, __he could __feel my emotions. At my embarrassment he tilted his head __forward __and looked at me. His beautiful green eyes bore into mine, making an assessment of sorts. He must have gotten the answer he was looking for __because __he slowly jumped off the rock, and made his way towards me._

_He couldn't get to me fast enough. So without conscious thought my feet started moving on their own accord towards him._

_"Jasper." I breathed. __My arm extended towards him as he came closer to me. Yet, I hesitated to touch him. I was afraid that my touch would break this beautiful mirage__. My fingers were just a few inches away and yet I __couldn't __muster the courage to touch him. He made that decision for me __as he __took a step forward so that my fingers were now splayed over his sculpted chest. __My fingers danced__ over his skin, smooth yet hard. I wanted to run my fingers all over him. I wanted to memorize every inch of him, fearing I may never get a second chance._

_He liked it, __I guessed.__ As my fingers moved over his abs, back to his chest and slowly moving along the column of his throat; he closed his eyes, a soft smile tugging at his luscious lips. He started purring. I halted my movements and peeked from under my eyelashes at his beautiful glowing face._

_My breathing hitched as he slowly descended his face towards mine. I knew what was happening and the anticipation was causing a knot to tighten in my stomach. It felt like forever before his lips touched mine, sending a jolt of awareness through my body. Thousands of sparks __danced __all over my body, making me lurch forward to deepen the kiss._

_"Mmm." I moaned. His sweet apple and chocolate taste invading my mouth. This must be heaven._

…..

"Jasper!" I moaned as I bolted upright in bed.

The room spun around me. I closed my eyes and breathed in and out, trying to stop the room from spinning. Stupid head rush. After a few seconds when the buzzing quieted, I opened my eyes. The dream Jasper still flashing before my eyes, I could still feel his lips on mine. I slowly raised my fingers and brushed my lips. I found myself yearning for Jasper. It was an unfathomable emotion. I knew it was wrong to want him for real. What is wrong with me? He's a vampire for god's sake and has a mate. Stupid assless bitch.

All of this is so fucked up. I shouldn't pay attention to this. It means nothing. I have always had weird dreams, although this dream was beyond the realms of weird, it meant nothing. He is a vampire, who just happens to be extremely handsome. God. I should not be thinking about the dream or Jasper or how good he tasted..Urgh! I screamed at my stupid swoony self.

I began to breath in and out. In and out. I was doing an awful lot of breathing exercises lately.

I decided to put off all these unwanted thoughts out of my mind and take a shower first.

..

I had just gotten out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my torso and another one wrapped around my head. I was feeling really happy, felt like the shower washed all the stress away.

What to wear? I tried to decide while tapping a finger on my chin. I finally decided to put on a Rolling stones top and black Capri pants. I was feeling very graceful today. I did not trip or slip once since I got up this morning. I hummed and pulled out the black pumps that Alice had gotten for me. I tied my hair up in a high ponytail and put on some mascara and gloss. I was in an incredibly good mood. The Cullen's could go fuck themselves. I was not going to think about them and ruin my super mood. I deserved this after everything that happened yesterday. I was awfully cheerful for someone who just lost a family and her boyfriend a day ago. I giggled again at the weird dream I had before Jasper. It's hilarious how my brain is able to come up with such crazy dreams. It was so weird; the vibrating, the paws, the black smooth body, and then being naked in the forest.

I decided to change my bed sheets from the boring floral printed white to a black silk one. It was a gift from the pixie. At least I am making use of her gifts now that her overbearing nosy self is gone from my life. I lied down on the bed and moaned at the feeling of the luxurious silk against my skin. It brought back snippets of my dream about Jasper. I didn't want think about that, so I got up and decided to call Renée using the cell phone Charlie had given me for my birthday.

It rang until her voicemail picked up, so I left her a message stating that I missed her. I also added a quite 'love you' and ended the call. I was getting bored so I decided to do my nails while humming 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift.

I was done with my nails and decided to fix something for breakfast, I was suddenly ravenous. I moved out of my bedroom and gracefully glided down the steps. Although I was feeling completely opposite of normal myself, there was a kind of feline grace to my movements but I was not perturbed in the slightest. It felt like nothing could change my good mood, maybe I am just having a good day. God must be compensating for the awful day I had yesterday. I giggled again for no fucking reason. I felt like I was on some kind of a high. Amazing. That's what I felt.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I think I must have finally lost it. I can't seem to care though, what I could do was enjoy this while it lasts.

I had just finished my cereal when the phone rang. That must be Charlie letting me know he made it to Seattle. I picked it up on the second ring. I ignored that it took me less than two seconds to reach the phone in the living room.

"Hello." I said into the receiver.

"Bells." Jake murmured. Ever since Billy had tried to warn me about the Cullens and threatened to involve Charlie, I had avoided going over to the Black house like the plague.

I feel so guilty and awful about cutting off all contact with Jake because of his father. All Billy did was try and protect me.

"Hey Jake. How are you?" I asked meekly. I was unsure as to how to apologize for my rude behavior.

It took him a while to answer, I guess he must be shocked by my polite behavior. He had tried calling before but I always answered in monosyllables making it blatantly obvious that I didn't want to talk.

"I'm good. I miss my best friend." He replied.

"Aw, Jakey I miss you too. I'm sorry for my rude behavior. In standing up for the Cullens, I totally hurt the feelings of my friend- who only had my best interest at heart. Will you forgive me?" I asked him. My behavior towards him and Billy was awful. 'Please say yes' 'Please say yes' I mentally prayed.

"Bells, I wouldn't have called if I was mad at you, although I was a little put-off by your behavior, I would never give up on you. You are and will always be my best friend." He said.

"I love you jakey." I choked out, his sweet words made me cry. I sniffled loudly although all I wanted to do was bawl like a baby and keep on apologizing.

He laughed and then in a serious tone continued, "Bells something changed last night, I know the Cullens have left but please don't stay in touch with them. Sam! Shit!" he whispered and then hurriedly said, "The stories are real. Just try and remember. All of it. I will try and swing by next week. Take care." He hung up.

I must have looked like an idiot, my eyes were wide and my mouth was open.

Why was he in such a hurry? And what did he mean by 'the stories are real'? And who was Sam? I swear to God if he threathens my jakey I will kick his ass.

It was all a clusterfuck and with all the shit on my plate, I didn't want more. I decided to put this issue on the backburner for now. Jake would explain it all next week and I would get a chance to apologize to him properly.

The phone rang again, thinking it was Jake I asnwered it immediately and started blabbering

"Is something wrong Jake? Is this Sam guy threathening you? What stories? Jake?" I got this all out in one breath, not even giving him a chance to answer.

"Izzy." A sweet voice called back. I would recognize that voice anywhere. No one ever called me Izzy, except for her.

"Nana." I whispered so low into the phone that I don't think she heard it.

I couldn't believe it. It has been nine years since I last saw her. Renee always said that Nana didn't want to see us anymore, and that she was busy with her travels. I never believed her stories but Nana never called after I had turned nine, not even on my birthdays. She liked to travel a lot and always used to send me pretty little postcards but that had stopped too. I had written to her many times at her permanent address thinking she would get back to me at some point, but I never got any replies. I had stopped writing to her after a few months.

"Nana?" I asked again. I had to double check. It had been ages since I'd last seen or heard from her.

"Izzy, I am on my way to Forks. I need to meet you today." She said urgently.

I was confused. Renee never talked to her, or about her anymore. How did she know I was in Forks?

I still hadn't answered; I didn't know what to say. It was out of the blue for her to want to see me. I was very fond of her and granpa, especially the stories he told. They were mesmerizing. I don't remember much about them but I do remember asking him to tell me those stories again and again when I was a child. Granpa would ruffle my hair and we would sit on the porch while he recited the stories again.

I didn't know what to do but seeing her couldn't do any harm. I wanted to see her, I had missed her so much.

"Okay Nana. When can I expect you?" I asked politely not letting any of my excitement seep into my voice. No matter how much I had missed her, I was hurt by her abscence.

"Around six in the evening, and whatever happens keep your cool. I need you to stay calm." With that being said, she hung up.

All I was feeling in the moment was confusion. I must have looked like a loon with the dumb expression on my pretty little face.

….

I had engrossed myself in cleaning the house while waiting for Nana to arrive. My happy buzz had died a long time ago leaving anxiousness in its place.

I couldn't think of any reason as to why she would come to see me now. It just left me irritated and on edge. I think my period must be due. I was having so many mood swings. It was giving me a headache. I was cleaning my room and noticed it was five minutes to six. I think all this anxiousness is going to kill me.

I started practicing my breathing exercises again. I should just move away to some place quiet, and immerse myself into meditation and pranayama.

Urgh! My thoughts are so jumbled. I keep moving from one thought to another, going back and forth. Something is seriously wrong with me. I feel feverish and not to mention the difficulty sticking to one train of thought.

My breathing routine was not helping and all this was taking a toll on me. I was scared. I didn't understand what was happening to me. I have never had PMS this bad. All this confusion was making me mad. Why should all this be happening to me?

I started shaking. Tremors were moving up and down my spine. I was gasping for air. Whatever control I had over myself was slipping away.

"Izzy!...Izzy!" my Nana screamed. She was standing near my bedroom door but not coming any further. Thank God. In my present state of mind, I didn't want anybody close to me.

"Calm down. Right now. You cannot phase here." she commanded.

I was breathing heavily, trying to regain some control. I was still shaking but my loud breaths and counting down from ten over and over again made the tremors go away.

I continued to breathe in loud gasps and never stopped my counting. Only when I was absolutely sure that the seizure would not start again did I open my eyes and looked at my Nana.

She was scared but her gaze never wavered from my eyes. I even saw amazement in them.

She was staring at me like you would an animal in a zoo, with complete fascination. I raised an eyebrow at her and she averted her gaze. I feel so different, so unlike myself, and completely disoriented.

I sat down on the floor with my head in my hands. ' the dream was real' I mentally screamed at myself. This is what happened yesterday night, and somehow Nana knew. Now I understood why she had asked me to keep my cool. It seemed strong emotions triggered this reaction from me. My brain was on overload and nothing made sense.

"You knew." it was more of a statement then an accusation. I don't think this was a regular visit to see her grand-daughter. She knew. That's why she came. She knew I was about to phase. About to phase into what? Something black that has a tail. My subconsious answered sarcastically.

She sat down too, near the doorframe and looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Still not an accusation.

"Izzy, I love you and all I wanted to do was protect you" she murmured and removed a tiny sketch book from her purse. She extended her hand and gave it to me. I glanced down at the first sketch and gulped loudly.

**So..What do you think? Like the jasper dream? Jacob's phone call? The sketch? What do you think it is?**


	6. Chapter 5 Queen Of Death

**Thank you to all those who reviewed, fav'd or put this story on alert.**

**Beta'd by SecretEmpath.**

**Bella POV  
><strong>

It was a panther. A huge black panther.

I was able to make the connection, and now had the answer to my dream. I had turned into a panther last night.

"Micheal." Nana sniffled out. My jaw dropped. My grandfather? He used to turn into a panther too?

I was in such a daze. This was unbelievable

I flipped the pages and found various sketches of the same panther. I knew it was the same panther because it had a patch of grey surrounding its neck in all the sketches. It had to be my grandfather.

I traced the last sketch with my fingertip, in this sketch the panther was resting on its haunches with his neck held high. It exuded power. Raw power. Goosebumps rose all over my body, it felt like some invisble energy flickered to life within me, pulsating to be let free.

"How?" I breathed. I was completed fascinated by the sketches. The idea of a my granpa turning into a panther did not seem absurd at all. The calm with which acceptance flowed through my body surprised me. It all felt natural.

I kept looking at the sketches and tried to picture myself as a panther..

"I met Michael when I was twenty-one. I had gone to visit my aunt at the Makah reservation. My mother wanted me to get married but I wanted to wait, so she sent me to aunt Marge. My mother believed that visiting my aunt would push me towards married life, considering most of the girls on the res were married by my age and had children too. I had made pineapple cake for the bonfire night that they hosted on the res every other weekend, apparently my aunt wanted to introduce me to the best eligible bachelors the Makah reservation could offer. I found the idea ridiculous but decided to humor her. Little did I know that I would meet my soul mate there. Your grandfather imprinted on me that night. Michael was the alpha of the pack. There were about twelve shape shifters- all of them could transform into panthers- and only a selected few knew about their existence."

"Imprinted?" I asked.

"Imprinting is when they find their soul mates. It's like love at first sight. Although one can't be forced into falling in loving, the pull is irresistible. Your imprint matters the most to you." She said with a glazed look in her eye. I had an inkling she was thinking about Grandpa. "Your grandfather imprinted on me that night and I was let in on all the secrets. The pull to your grandfather was so strong. I could not even be embarrassed to say that I fell in love with him, almost instantly too. Micheal introduced me to the other imprints. They explained everything to me. They soothed my worry over the instantaneous connection that I felt towards him.  
>My aunt knew about the pack and was able to convince my parents about our relationship. We soon got engaged. He courted me for a month and before long we were happily married. That was the best period of my life. Each moment that I spent with him was cherished" she said with a timid smile.<p>

She minutely shook her head as if to come back to the present and continued, "Anyway, only males can transform into panthers but whenever a pack exists, any one female from the tribe is blessed with a gift. The female is not meant to shift, she is there for any added protection for the tribe. Your grandfather's sister was blessed with the gift of foresight. I shall never forget the night when she predicted…." she couldn't finish her thought as started sobbing.

I hugged her. I didn't say anything. I just wanted to comfort her as best as I could. She managed to stop crying after a while. I tried to get up and fetch her some water when she held me down and managed to choke out the rest of the story.

"She predicted that a cold-one would destroy the entire pack and that there was no way anybody could be saved." A small hiccup escaped before she continued.

"The vampire was a female and she wanted to recruit the pack to fight for her in some sort of war. We couldn't run, so we had to wait. Your grandfather insisted I leave but I was adamant in staying. I knew that I wouldn't be able to live without him. She also predicted that one of us would survive and thus would start the fall of the Queen of Death. That's all I can remember, I'm sorry." I knew she didn't want to elaborate anymore but I had to ask her.

"How did you and Grandpa survive?" I whispered. My voice was hoarse but I had to know. My Grandpa had passed away just a few months before I left for Forks. Nana had sent us a letter to let us know. There was no return address or contact information, so we were unable to get in touch with her.

"She came... She came with many others a week after the prediction. The entire pack and their families were killed. We didn't know she would come so soon, or we would have never left. I had gone to visit my mom. A goodbye of sorts. While I was at my mom's house, I discovered that I was three months pregnant and thus called your Grandpa. My mom had prepared a feast. We were your supposed to have dinner with her and then leave for the res.

She came that night, she killed everybody and burned down the res. Your Grandpa and I returned home to nothing. Only ashes. It was too much of a shock for both your Grandpa and I. He felt like he had shamed his tribe, he wanted to fight. He wanted to go after the female vampire but I stopped him. He couldn't just leave his imprint and unborn child; I used that against him. The guilt was overbearing but I couldn't afford to lose him. I knew that if he went after her, he would die and I would die without him. I couldn't let that happen to us, to our unborn child. I would do anything to make him stay. Soon your mom was born and slowly life became normal for us. Your Grandpa was able to let go of some of his guilt and diverted all of his attention to me and Renee. He stopped phasing, so that he could grow old with me. We were all living happily and then Renee had you. That was the day our lives changed again. We were all so happy. Life was good. Years passed and then you turned nine. We were having family dinner that evening. Your father wasn't there, it was only the four of us. After dinner, you were busy opening your presents when your Grandpa revealed more about the prediction made by his sister. It was about you.

After he told Renée, she forbade us from your life. She didn't believe anything we said and asked us to stay away from you." She said and looked at me with tear filled eyes.

I couldn't believe that Renee would do that to her parents, to me. She could have just chosen to ignore whatever they said rather than banning them from my life. I was so mad at her. She knew how much I missed Nana and Grandpa. She knew I loved them. She knew how much I had tried to get in touch with them. She...

I started shaking. The tremors were getting out of control, and I needed to calm down. No matter what, I knew that I couldn't phase here, not with Nana so close by, I was aware of that much. I felt Nana hug me tight as she tried to shush me.

Everything is so complicated. Its like I am drowning and I'm not able to break the water surface for a single breath before I am submerged again. I am going through so many things simultaneously and its getting difficult, but I have to be strong. I have to. I melted in her arms and cried. I cried until I got it all out of my system and was ready to face anything that life threw at me. Which is quite a lot!

After I was all cried out, Nana continued, "As much as it hurt, it was for the best. The female vampire soon found out about your Grandpa, and she would send a vampire to check on us every few months. I think she knew that Michael couldn't phase anymore, so she would send the vampire only to scare us. I was thankful that she didn't know about you. We couldn't afford anything happening to you. So, in an effort to keep you safe, I stopped sending you postcards and avoided contact with you and your mom. All we ever did was try to protect you.

The vampires that came to visit told us quite a few gruesome ways she dealt with people to get her way. When she was bored she would play games and torture people. As they told us all the details, it only cemented our decision to protect you. And at that point the best protection we could give you, was to stay away from you."

Somewhere in the middle of her story, she began to comb through my hair with her fingers. That motion always soothed me. She used to do it all the time when I would visit her. It made me feel safe and loved by her, at a time when I desperately needed it.

"This went on for years. We would keep moving but they always found us." I tightened my arms around her, she needed assurance as well. The next part was difficult for her to say as she opened her mouth twice but no sound came out. I looked at up at her and she gulped down hard before beginning again.

"Two years ago, Micheal had an accident. The doctors tried their best but…." She stopped speaking, unable to continue.

"That's when I decided to send you a letter. I took a risk but I wanted Renee to know. I was patiently waiting for you to turn eighteen. I knew that was when everything would change. It took me a few days to track you down but I finally found you."

"And?" I whispered. I knew that she was not done. There was something more she needed to say and that's concerned me.

"_You _are destined to end the war, to kill them all. _You _will possess a unique gift and a warrior mate that will stand by your side and help you defeat them all. You just have to embrace your inner self." She said with a determined look.

I was numb. That's what I was. Numb. I couldn't say anything. I must have resembled a fish at how often I opened and closed my mouth. Right now, though, I couldn't care less.

End a war? Kill vampires? How? I can't do this alone. War means there is an entire army. Army of vampires. How will I be able to kill them alone? What gift do I possess? Warrior mate? MATE?

I had no answers, only questions. I asked Nana the question that was on the forefront of my mind, "Queen of Death?"

She shuddered and looked into my eyes and said "She does not care for life. She only brings death."

I looked at my Nana when she trembled and breathed out the name,

"Maria"

**Like? Review and let me know.**

**Oohhh! Maria- Queen of death. I wanted to give her a cool name. Most of the stories have Jasper as the 'God of War' and I simply love it. I am planning to use it for my story too. The title is so cool and used in almost all of J/B fics. Kudos to the person who coined the name.**


	7. Chapter 6 Prophecy?

**Olay! Here is the next update. We have nana revealing more about the prediction in this chapter, I have named one of the characters after my first reviewer cathy29jes. She has reviewed all the chapters and after the re-post, since one cannot review twice, she PM'd me. I found it extremely sweet. And I hope you like my little present. **

**Beta'd by **

_Previously:_

_She shuddered and looked into my eyes and said "She does not care for life, only brings death"_

_I looked at my nana when she trembled and breathed out the name,_

_"Maria"_

"Maria" I repeated.

"She wanted to recruit Michael and his pack to fight for her in these wars in the south. War for feeding ground." Nana said while dragging her forefinger over the hem of her shirt.

"For blood" I growled. Nana was not affected in the least by my growl; she did not even flinch and continued,

"She wanted the pack to fight against the other covens, so that her army had ample to feed. Michael's sister Cathy had seen that Maria would come to the res with a hundred other vampires. There was no way that the pack would survive against so many of them, most of the vampires would be restless and antsy with a lot of brute strength she had said. Cathy also foretold that Maria would offer Michael and the pack to join her and follow her orders for the life of their families; the others would be drained no matter what. She would be willing to spare only the immediate families of the pack members. The pack would obviously never agree and so she would kill everybody. 'A feast for the army' she had said" nana never once said 'has' only 'would', I guess thinking about it only as a prediction helped her keep her grief at bay. I held her hand and looked at her with no fear or pain, I tried to give her strength in the best way I could for her to continue. I guess talking to somebody about it would actually help her.

"That is all I know, she did not tell more of what she saw to all of us. Later that night she called the pack to her house and told them the rest of the vision. Michael never shared what Cathy had said even with me. Cathy had warned them I suppose but he told me later. After your twelfth birthday to be precise." Nana looked at me with determined eyes, now was her chance to keep me afloat. I was petrified, the vision somehow concerned me, I am supposed to end it all, but I don't know how or if I will be able to. I don't even have any gift.

"Cathy had said that one of the pack member would survive and thus would start her befall. The shape shifting gene would not die out and that the daughter of the surviving member would give birth to the child who would possess a gift like no other, the child would be able to transform into panther-form but would be extraordinaire even as a human. Strong-hearted and compassion-filled, the child will be able to kill the 'Queen of Death' with the help of her mate and family. She will have a warrior mate, with a gift most coveted by 'her'. Together you will be able to defeat her and thus end the war" she completed.

The only emotion that ran through me was Disbelief. End a war. Warrior mate. Gift like no other.

Surely nana is mistaken. The prediction was not about me. Yeah. That's it. Maybe it is about someone else. Maybe I am not Renee's biological child. Yeah. I must be adopted. I don't resemble her anyways.

Nana gently shook my shoulder bringing me out of my nutty thoughts.

"Extraordinaire human?" I snorted at my nana.

I don't think she appreciated it as she raised her delicate puckered eyebrow at me. How does she manage to stay so..so..primmed in such a situation is beyond me. She has been followed and threatened by vampires for crying out loud.

"Izzy" my nana called with a not-so-gentle shove to my shoulder.

I wanted to stick my tongue out and tell her that she has gone crazy and that somehow that crazy gene got transferred onto me too. Nothing makes sense.

Stupid. Nonsense. Ridiculous. And about every other 'crazy word' all this shit was.

I was feeling so restless and caged.

Does not make sense.

Out of control.

"ARGH" I screamed

Nana immediately held my hand and tried to pull me off the floor. "OUT"

"OUT" she screamed.

"ARGH"

"Izzy, not here" my nana held my face in her hand and looked in my eyes when she said that. Somehow I managed to stand and follow her out of the door, never breaking eye-contact.

Once I was out in the open I immediately felt better and walked to the middle of the backyard in my cat-like movements. I swirled my neck around and inhaled deeply, it felt like something was calling out to me.

I swirled my head once more and arched my back, resting my palms on the ground. I felt a shimmer go up my spine and then heaven. I felt so good, so free. I opened my eyes and everything seemed lighter, I felt good. I knew what had happened, so I looked over my shoulder at my tail and did a mental eye-roll.

I turned around and faced my nana, it looked as if she was paralyzed. There was so much shock in her eyes.

Is she scared? I wondered.

I slowly trudged towards her, not wanting to make any big movements that would give my fragile nana a heart attack. It looked like she was out of her trance.

"Izzy.." she breathed like a prayer. There was so much awe in her eyes. Awe for me.

But why? Judging from her beautiful and detailed sketches she must have seen granpa phase a number of times.

Shit! I must be a weird looking panther. Or maybe I was some other animal. I hope I am not a ass. Please god let me not be a donkey. I beg of you.

I felt like I needed a shock treatment. Hehe. Donkey?

I had reached nana and decided not to go any closer. I looked at her with questioning eyes, trying to gauge the reason behind her behavior.

"Soo beautiful…Izzy…how?" well now she did not make any sense.

"How?" she repeated again

'_Yeah nana I can so answer you in this form. Apparently panthers can talk.' I mentally answered sarcastically. I even added a mental nose pucker. _

What can I say? I am a funny little panther.

"How?..amazing" she said.

I felt like biting her. How the fuck does she expect me to answer her in this form. My entire family is nuts. I knew about Renee and me but now I will have to add nana to the mix.

I went towards her slowly and nudged her stomach forcing her to look at me. She fell down to her knees and ran her fingers through my hair with her fingers, it felt so good, I could feel a rumbling in my chest. Mmmm. I mentally moaned and tilted my neck, nana kept running her fingers, combing through my hair. Mmm. The rumbling again, it took me a while to realize that I was purring. I actually felt like curling up against my nana's feet and let her continue her ministrations when she suddenly stopped forcing me to open my eyes and look at her.

"Izzy, sweety you look so beautiful. So much like your grandpa, he would have been so proud" my nana said with tears in her eyes, she brushed them away and cradled my head in her hands and looked into my eyes and said, "you are extraordinary. How were you able to transform so fast? I barely registered it, even Micheal could not do that and you are extremely new. It was beautiful Izzy. This life suits you"

She laid a kiss on my head and resumed the combing and cue the purring, if I were in my human form, I would have been blushing ten different shades of red at my behavior but I am an animal now so don't judge me. Hmmpf.

I rested my head in her lap and decided to do my breathing exercises and calm down. I wanted to be back in my human form so that I could talk to my nana about what all this 'turning-in-to-a-panther-and-fulfilling-a-prophecy(I guess)' entailed, no sooner had that thought left my mind, I was lying face down on the ground in my human form, about a feet away from nana, her hands were in the air, she did not register my change I guess. I got up and brushed the mud off my body, thank God that it was not raining otherwise I would have been all mucky.

Why the fuck do my clothes not survive transformations? It's so fucking inconvenient.

After brushing off the non-existent muck off my body I looked at my nana, her hands were still in the air trying to hold onto my back-to-human-panther-self. Don't ask. My crazy way of describing things is understood only by me.

I circled around my nana thinking that seeing my naked self act all crazy she might snap back from wherever she went. No luck, so I decided to let her be and walked past her into the house and directly went up to my room to put on a sundress. I tied my hair in a loose bun and made my way downstairs to the backyard making a detour to the kitchen to fetch me something to eat. I picked up the packet of doritos and a soda before going back to nana, she was in the same position that I'd left her in, her mouth still open. I snapped my fingers in front of her face while my other hand was stuffing doritos in my mouth, not very nice but I was hungry. That seemed to draw her back to the present.

"Great your back" I squealed sarcastically while clapping my hands. I was a little miffed by her zoning out on me again and again.

"Isabella" she warned in a serious voice that made me gulp on my half chewed Doritos that in turn made me choke, I reached out for the soda when. Whack! All the half-chewed food was out of my mouth. I turned around; nana had her hands raised for another blow. I raised my hand and hoarsely answered "done"

After gulping down the soda and a very stern warning regarding my behavior from nana, all was fine.

"I am sorry nana, it's just that my emotions are crazy, I can hardly control my behavior. I did not mean to be rude but I don't understand what's happening and…scary…left…" I sobbed, I could hardly get any more words out.

"It's ok sweety. You're a newbie, give yourself a week and I promise everything will be normal. Your body is just trying to adjust to the change and when you are a newbie, your emotions are pretty volatile. It will all be alright honey. I have seen michael deal with newbies, they are usually never in control of their emotions and it takes them ages to shift back to human form when they transform for the first time. I was actually surprised that you were able to transform so smoothly and I did not even register when your transformed back to your human form. I have never seen it before and trust me, I know because your grandpa would always complain when a new kid phased for the first time. It is not very easy and it will be very di-orienting for you, but just give yourself a few days and you will be back to your normal self" she said while curling a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

"I love you nana and I pomise that I will try and control my attitude, I am just so overwhelmed right now that I can barely think rationally and I hate it" I honestly told her. I was seriously feeling out of control. My emotions have been haywire since yesterday. One moment I am calm, then the next I am mad for no fucking reason, then I am sad and then back to being mad again. It's really irritating.

"When was the first time you shifted?" nana asked.

"Well the first time I shifted was yesterday night I think. Doucheward broke up with me and took his family away from me and left a bloody note in my handwriting for Charlie" I said the last part in a single breath, my face must have turned red from the iron hot anger I felt for him. I had to close my eyes and clench my hands into fists to control some of the anger.

Stupid, Good-for-nothing Cullen's. I had accepted them so easily in my life, no qualms, no fuss and this is how they repaid me. Oh god, I hate them so much.

I understand now that they were no family, they were just a bunch of vampires who played 'family'. It must be something that mentally sick vampires do, like a game to see who can play 'human' the best, trick an unsuspecting girl to accept and fall for them and then just stomp over her heart and discard her like yesterday's trash.

I got up and walked away from nana a bit and let the tremors gain momentum while arching my back, I felt the shimmering feeling and opened my eyes.

I looked around at the tiny bits of my dress on the ground and growled. Motherfucker! I loved that dress. I should have removed it before phasing. Will have to keep it in mind the next time I phase.

"Go for a run. Trust me you will feel better" nana said smiling.

"Go" she said with a flick of her hand. Wow now she thinks of me as a pet. Fantastic.

I rolled my eyes at her but followed what she said and ran. Holy mother of God! I can run. So fast. Everything was a green blur as I streaked through the forest, not once tripping or hitting a tree. It was exhilarating.

I inhaled deeply and bowed my head, pushing myself faster. I was even faster than Edward and that 'girl' could run. He was the fastest according to what Esme had said.

Man I would give my left boob just to look at his face as he saw me run. I am sure he would shit bricks – again I know that it is not possible, but he can atleast give the right expressions - That would be so awesome.

I screeched to a stop as I reached a tiny pond. I inched slowly towards the water surface knowing that I will be able to see my reflection in the water.

I could hear the soft thump of my paws against the mud, it was very light and faint as my movements were extremely graceful. I could see a doe drinking water on the other side. It must have sensed my presence at it raised it head and streaked out. I actually found it funny.

There was so much left for me to comprehend and fully understand but I was going to enjoy this moment and not think about anything else. I had finally reached the edge and all I had to do was lean and see my reflection, I was so excited.

I was just about to lean when I heard a howl. I turned my head around listening intently for any approaching wolf. My senses was superb and I knew that there was no incoming wolf or any big animal for that matter. I turned my head around and growled loudly, some of the small animals which were hiding behind the bushes squeaked and scurried away.

I growled again, even more loudly. I wanted to see how loud I could growl, it was entertaining. Hehe. I was mentally doing a tap dance, thoroughly happy and enjoying my new self. I kept on growling and once I actually growled so loud that the ground around me shook, it was absolutely terrific.

I continued with my growling game for quite sometime and was actually quite sure that most of the small animals must have peed or fainted from the fright. I was about to growl again when I heard a howl and a low growl from two miles east, the wolf was nearing.

I did not know whether wolves could harm panthers. Damn! I should see national geographic more. But anyways I was not going to wait and find out, I know there would not be one but many of them.

_Silly Bella._ Came my mental voice.

Then it dawned on me, my ancestors were able to defeat vampires if they were not overwhelmed by their numbers; so any animal would be easy game for me. Normal animals compared to vampires, this will be a piece of cake.

I kept my eyes and ears open, I did not trust my strength so much, I was an anomaly even when I was a human, standing on two feet was difficult for me, so my panther-self will have to avoid unwanted risks for now. The wolf was now at the northern edge of the meadow near the pond, I was carefully monitoring its movements. I growled lowly in warning before heading towards the meadow, I was curious. I wanted to see the wolf, I have not seen any and now since I seem to be more durable and an animal, I can atleast see it, its not like I was going to do a cat dance in front of it and provoke it I mentally laughed. I am going crazier by the day.

I was now in the middle of the clearing with the wolf at the far end. Whoa. Fuck me running, that thing was huge. It was like a wolfy-horse. Wtf? I mean I have some idea as to their rough size but this one was HUGE. How can they be so big. It was brown in color and had pretty orb like black eyes, I could see every inch of the wolf like it was under a microscope. That clear. Super.

The wolf was staring at me with its head cocked. I stuck my tongue out and mentally thought that even if I was small compared to him, I would easily be able to overpower him. Fucker did not know that I was not a normal panther. I must have even stomped my back paw a little. I think I saw amusement in the wolf's eyes. I narrowed my eyes at it, eventhough it was a huge wolf, I was not going to let it find my smaller self amusing.

I narrowed my eyes at it and growled, more like squeaked. What the hell? Do panthers have throat problems like humans if they growl continuously. Fuck! I should really watch Nat geo more. I growled again, loudly and the wolf actually had the audacity to throw its tongue out and pant hoarsely, wait a second, was it laughing? Can wolves do that?

I growled loudly and that seemed to amuse it even more. "_Stupid fucker_" I mentally screamed at it, well now that seemed to affect him, he looked around wildly, here and there, not paying me any attention, the stupid wolf was now actually moving around in a circle, all it had to do now was wag its tail and I would seriously transform back and play fetch with it. Hehe.

All of a sudden the wolf started running away. It stooped at a distance and howled. Is he calling for more wolves? One was enough for me today, eventhough I look like an animal, my mind is still human and the idea of so many wolves scares me so I took off running towards my home. I reached in no fucking time and was thankful that the wolf did not follow, he would not be able to keep up with my awesome speed anyway.

Nana was nowhere to be seen, I listened intently and I could hear soft snores coming from the guest bedroom in the attic. I quickly shifted back to my human form and ran inside the house, bolted the door and rested my back against it and slid down to the floor panting. Phew. The run was freeing and I actually felt good.

After a while I got up and picked up a few fruits from the kitchen along with a bottle of water and made my way upstairs. I put on a baggy t-shirt and fell on the bed eating the fruits and downing the whole bottle of water. I was a little tired and in the mood for a nap. Me and nana could just order pizzas for dinner.

I snuggled into my blanket and was off to sleep in no time.

**Like? What do you think about the wolf incident?..lol**


	8. Chapter 7 Ass Wiggle

**Woohoo! I loved all your reviews and PM's. Amazing. XX.**

**I actually had this chapter up and ready quite a few days ago but I wanted to be done with the next chapter before posting this one so that I can start sending out previews. Sadly I am nowhere near completing it so I decided to post this already.**

**Beta'd by SecretEmpath and pre-read by RebelGirl22. XX.  
><strong> 

**Jacob POV**

It was Paul and me patrolling right now. Fucking patrol duty. I had just transformed for the first time yesterday and stupid Sam has already put me on patrol duty, apparently he discovered some bloodsuckers three day old scent near the cliffs. Assface, he is the alpha for fucks sake, couldn't he have got to know that we had a leech roaming around the res. Fucktard can shift since the last two months. Fucking idiot.

Paul snorted at my thoughts.

I mentally flipped him off.

_Not fond of the mighty alpha, eh?_ He asked through the mind link. Such a fucking downer to the whole transforming thing, all the strength and speed shit is cool but why the fuck do we have to share all our thoughts when we are in our werewolf form.

_Boo-fucking-hoo. You 'little' virgin, you seem to enjoy peering into my mind and watch my encounters like a perverted fucker _Paul screamed.

What? I have to try and make the best out of it. It's like free porn, you can't blame poor me for finding a life-saver in this shit hole. Everything about me is cool except for the fact that all the fuckers can see my fantasies of a brown-eyed beauty too. So not fair.

_Leech-lover. _Paul spits.

I switch my thoughts back to Sam, the retard.

Fucking douche even had the balls to forbid me from talking to Bells, I agreed because I so did not want him to put an alpha gag on me. Stupid Fucker thinks he is above us, abusing his power. I know how to handle my affairs and family unlike him. Asshole does not even know how to treat girls. What he did to Leah was beyond fucked up, I could see it in his thoughts and memories, he still has feelings for Leah but he loves Emily. Talk about cluster-fuck.

I don't particularly like Leah but I feel for her, she is so depressed these days. Billy tells me that Harry is so worried about her, she does not talk to anybody and stays locked up in her room most of the time. Poor girl.

Leah is the main reason that I had called Bells yesterday, I know knew the truth about the Cullen's – the real truth and not just some stupid stories – along with the fact that the entire family up and left without any notice. Hearing about Leah made me worry about Bella; I know she really liked the leech. Gross. And Bella being the emotional girl that she is I was worried that she must have taken their departure hard and I just wanted to make sure that she knew I was there for her. I always will be there for her.

I am so glad that we are friends again. Let me just get control of my shit and then I will tell her, she had to know the truth about the Cullen's, she dated one for crying out loud. Cold-skin and non-beating heart is a dead giveaway and I know that Bella is not THAT stupid.

But eww! How could she date a leech? And that too the feminine looking one. Gross. I need to have a serious chat with her about her safety. She is my Best friend after all and maybe I can help her with her poor taste in guys also. She needs someone buff and manly.

_So tell me Jake do you and the leech-lover do each other's nails when you'll meet up or braid each other's hair? – Paul_

_Shut the fuck up Paul, I have no problem kicking your ass- Jake_

_Braiding it is then- Paul_

That stupid fucker is so going to get an ass-kicking from me. Paul howled tying to goad me.

_Your dead once I get my paws on you_. I growled and started running in the direction of his howl. He was mentally laughing and even wriggled his ass. He has a sick sense of humor. Gross.

_Come get me._

That stupid fucker, now I did not even feel like chasing his ass, he is so gross and with all the ass-wiggling shit I am seriously feeling uncomfortable in his company

_Gee! Will you fucking relax? I am not going to molest you, you little virgin. I have plenty of experience with the ladies. Unlike you._

He just had to throw that in my face. I growl loudly and chased after him.

We have been at this game for quite some time and running around chasing the ass-wiggling moron has not helped, but it certainly helped burning off my excess energy.

_Bye-bye sweetie_. Fucktard said while battling his eyelashes. Before I could respond he has transformed, fucker has such a sick sense of humor, it is not even funny, just sick, and 'makes-you-want to-puke' shit. Brrrr! I shuddered. Sicko.

I was finally alone in my head. Just an hour more and then Jared will take over patrol duty. Sam is so fucking retarded; he has us patrolling after the fucking leeches left town. Asshat. You are supposed to be cautious all the time but full blown defensive when you know there is going to be a threat.

Jackass is being cautious and defensive after the fucking threat has left, Fucker was wringing his hands and fucking two girls while leeches vacationed at La Push. What a fucking douche.

I heard a loud growl come from the east, followed by mini growls, which fucking animal is growling like a loon. I started trotting towards the direction from where the growls were coming and howled. The growling stopped abruptly as I neared the edge of the clearing. I heard a small warning growl before I heard the animal approaching the clearing. Maybe I could scare the shit out of it, it's not like I have anything else to do.

A beautiful jet-black panther emerged from the opposite side of the clearing. WOW. It was beautiful; it had dark brown eyes just like Bella's and a thick spot of gray near the tail. The grace with which it walked was woohoo, never breaking eye-contact it halted at the middle of the clearing.

I was amused that such a tiny animal could be so pretty, it actually reminded me of Bells; well the fierce Bells who stood her ground, she would have a fire in her eyes when she argued or defended the people she loves. I miss that Bella. My Bella.

Now she has turned into a love-sick puppy that dances around, wags her tail at every given opportunity in front of the Cullen's and not to forget, she mini-growls and snaps at anyone who does not approve of them. I can understand her behavior to a certain extent but frankly speaking I also find it mildly pathetic, she should be able to make mature decisions and care for her family too. When she ran off to phoenix with the bloodsucker, her father was so crushed. Charlie has not gotten an opportunity to spend time with his daughter eventhough they live under one roof. First, Renee was always adamant that Bella would not be allowed to spend more than two weeks at forks with her father during her childhood, then that attitude got transferred onto teen-Bella too when after the age of fourteen she would not be willing to spend no more than two days at Forks and the remaining vacationing somewhere with Charlie. Charlie never complained but I have heard him talk to dad, he misses his daughter.

When Bella had decided to move to forks, Charlie was literally bouncing around with joy. He thought he got his daughter back and would finally be able to fulfill his responsibility as her father.

I am so mad at Bella, she hardly spent time with him, she started dating the leech no sooner than two months after she moved, and later gave Charlie a hard time when she threw the same reason as Renee in his face and stormed off to phoenix with Cullen, then she returned battered and bruised giving Charlie a mini-heart attack, Charlie had even fucking cried in front of dad worrying about his only daughter. I understand Bella's behavior to a certain extent but she could have behaved better and more daughter-like with Charlie. I know she has no reason to because practically Charlie is nothing more than a guardian with whom she has spent two weeks every year since like ever, two weeks every year just because she was his daughter, it is like a total pile of shit. Clearing off the first pile just dumps you in the next.

Her situation is so complicated that I cannot even try understand her' behavior. It gives me a fucking headache. Both of are to blame, Charlie more so than bells. Poor Bella did not even have a semblance of normal childhood, thanks to her hare-brained mother – who loves her very much, but hardly gets time to look beyond her personal needs to her own daughter- , its maddening. Charlie too never tried or even bothered to fight for his daughter he let her go and was happy with the two weeks he got to spend with her. Bells must have felt so unloved and alone all her childhood, I know as whenever she came with her dad to forks, we would play together and sit on our favorite log at the beach and chat. It's so fucking un-nerving that I know both sides of the story, yet there is nothing much I have done. Ugh!

Charlie needs to talk to his daughter, he is content having her live with him, and he does not want to push her away. The phoenix incident has scared him and he is non-too-willing to have a repeat. Bella also never bothers sharing what's on her mind, it's difficult not impossible. They fucking just need to talk.

And just why the fuck is this bothering me so much? I think I have qualities of a shrink. Thank the devil, Paul is not here to hear my thoughts. A weird noise brought my attention back to the panther.

The Bella like panther was now squeaking and the attempted a proper kitten growl. It was so fucking funny. I actually imagined it to stomp its back paw a bit. That's I, I was now full out laughing in my mind which equivalents to strangled breathing and tongue-out panting in wolf form. Ha-ha. Awesome.

'_Stupid fucker' _I heard Bella's voice scream in my head.

HUH?

WTF?

I turned around looking for anything, anything that would help me understand this shit.

_Paul, you fucker. If you are attempting any sort of shit, I will fucking kill you?_ I mentally screamed. But I know it was not him, I would have felt it if he shifted, his thoughts are not that quite.

I ran in the woods and howled; I just wanted to talk to someone. Maybe the fucker will shift back, it was not a warning howl, and just the normal howls that help indicate location easily for us to keep track of each other.

No luck. Maybe it is just in my head, I haven't seen bells in so long. Now is the perfect opportunity, no-one else is patrolling, it's just me, I could just visit her for a while until it is Jared's time and no-one will know.

I started running towards Bella's house, as I neared the edge of the woods and her house came into view, I full-out wanted to puke, it reeked of that bastard's scent. Gross. I wrinkled my nose, even though it had rained yesterday night, the scent was still burning my nose. Me being a new wolfie, it will take time for me get used to the burn in my nose and my senses were going haywire, I would in no way wish for my out-of-control emotions to affect bells. I started running back to the res, keeping my nose close to the earth, trying to actually breathe in the earth to get rid to the bleach smell from my nose. Snort. Sniff. Fake sneeze.

**What do you think about Jake? Ass-wiggling Paul? Lol..Review and let me know..XOXO**


	9. Chapter 8 Plan

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**Beta'd by SecretEmpath and pre-read by RebelGirl22. XX.**

**Victoria POV**

I threw her limp carcass after draining her of her sweet blood, yummy. I wiped the back of my hand over my mouth and raised my head towards the sky, reminiscing the in the feeling of the blood travelling down my throat. Firm hands wrapped around my waist and open-mouthed kisses were laid across my neck, I wanted to rip the assholes head for even daring to touch me in such a way, but I needed him for my plan to happen, I would let him have me, if this is the only way to revenge my James.

His hands started moving up, gliding across my stomach, fisting my shirt in his hand. I moaned and made all the right noises to let him know that I enjoyed his hands on me. So easy, so stupid, so gullible. He actually thinks I love him; there is no love in my heart, only the need for vengeance, which I would get soon. At his sake.

He slowly moved one of his hands to undo my blouse, the girl I drained had good fashion sense, purple suited me. I tilted my head and moved my hand behind my back to undo the buttons of his shirt.

"OHH Riley" I moaned while twisting in his arms and laying a kiss on his neck. He shuddered while he hastily unhooked my bra and all but ripped off my jeans. I wanted to laugh at his eagerness, he desired me so much. But no other man will be worthy of my love, I loved James and he was brutally taken away from me. My savior was killed and all for a human, a meal. The Cullen's will have to pay for what they did to my James.

"Mine" he growled before throwing me on the floor. Oh newborns, primarily driven by emotions which only include three- feed, fuck, fight – each of equal importance and as long as I kept each sated, I can bend them into doing whatever I desire.

He ripped off his own shirt while emitting a deep guttural roar, reminding me of my James, although James could get a little violent with me at times but he loved me, he had every right. He saved me from my human husband and made him pay for what he did to me. I owed James my life, he owned me. I kept him sated in all ways possible; I did all that he desired and even participated in playing with food before draining it. My James loved to play games. Deadly games, that ultimately cost him is life. I shook my head, NO, the Cullen's and their pet cost me my James. They will have to pay, with interest.

I imagined James crawling slowly towards me instead of Riley, James bringing me the sweet pleasure and taking me again and again in any way he desired.

Dawn was approaching and I was brought out of my dream with Riley whispering sweet nothings in my ear. I did not like it but I had to indulge him. He was soon approaching his year mark and our newborns were all ready, the human will pay first. I will drain her and then I will kill all the Cullen's, saving her mate for last, I will force him to see while I drain the life out of her. And then I will burn him, slowly.

I pushed Riley off me, he growled and I stood up with my own snarl, report on the newborns first, release then. He tried pinning me to the floor again, trying to take me by force, silly newborn, I had him in a chokehold in no time, him snarling and growling under me. I pushed his face into the mud, shutting out his growls and bent my face towards his neck and nipping at his neck with my razor sharp teeth, he stopped struggling immediately at the feel of my teeth on his neck. Good boy.

"Report" I commanded and smashed his face in the earth once more before getting up and starting to dress up with my back turned against him, he would not dare try anything, for him I was his mate after all.

He got up and brushed off the mud of his body, earning him a growl from me. He pulled on his jeans and kneeled down in front of me, while updating me on the newborns,

"Mark is controlling fifteen while twenty are in the last stage of changing, twelve three months old got in a fight, we are two down but Melissa was able to end the fight immediately. Stag is hunting for talented humans to change. Five more and our target of fifty are completed."

"Cullen's" I said knowing full well that he understood what I wanted to know.

"Stag scouted their residential area, his lack of scent aiding him in avoiding leaving a trail, the Cullen's have left town, and he overheard a local resident talking about a better opportunity of the coven leader Carlisle somewhere in LA"

"Human?" I spat

"In town, Stag witnessed Cullen breaking up with her in the woods and fled the scene not trusting his control around the human much and fearing your wrath if any harm came to the human, not inflicted by you"

"I see, Melissa is keeping a firm hold over them all. Her gift will come in handy. Find her a tasty human as a treat, a gift from me. GO" I snapped my fingers.

"Break up" I mused. I thought she was his mate, how could he leave her, he very well know that I would avenge my mate, James told me all about his and the pixies gift.

I will have to tread carefully, not trusting HER, she is the reason my James is dead. We were assured that no harm would come to us. But nothing turned out as planned and my poor James was killed. I will kill HER brutally for being the sole reason behind me losing my mate.

If she had not asked for the favor from James, he would still be with me, that slut. James would visit her from time to time, but I never liked that bitch. She would have her hands all over my James, drooling all over him, I have had to teach a lesson or two about fucking someone else's mate, but then James would punish me for hurting, ripping an arm or two was not uncommon for James but last time I had threatened and ripped the bitch apart, James had actually fucked her in front of me and fully dismembered my body, he let me be like that for two whole weeks before putting me back together again, then fucking me for a day straight before allowing me to feed.

At times I wondered if he was my true mate, but he had to be, he had saved me from that bastard and given me this new life, he was not as brutal as my husband and little violence is there in each relationship. And he assured me that I was his mate, and now I am all alone in this eternal existence. Laurent left, James was killed, I have no one, and I am all alone.

The Cullen's will have to pay for this, because of them I was stripped of my mate. I have no one to love me. Alone

First the human then the Cullen's and then HER. I will save her for last. I will dismember her a hundred times before allowing her the sweet release of death.

Ready or not, here I come.

I laughed before streaking towards my camp of newborns.

**Unknown POV**

Isabella Marie Swan. Wait till I get my hands on you. You will be sorry for interfering with what's mine. So what if James could not finish the task I assigned him. Now you get to deal with me.

Eventhough that bitch is not associated with him now, I cannot take any risks. This is the opportunity I have been waiting for. There is no-one to protect her, all alone and vulnerable. I can take her away, play with her and then painfully kill her. My little secret. I will however not taint myself with her blood; my family cannot see me with red eyes.

I wiped my mouth on the sleeve of my shirt before fishing out my phone. He will help me; I might even allow him to consume her blood. I pressed the call button and waited for him to pick up, "Hello"

"Laurent" I greeted.

..

A maniacal laugh left my lips. I dumped the dead carcass into the ground before streaking back home. My good face back on.

**Who do you think the unknow Pov is? What about crazy Victoria? Review and let me know..XOXO**


	10. Chapter 9 Memories

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**Beta'd by SecretEmpath and proof-read by Rebelgirl22. Thank you. XO**

**Bella POV  
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_"Bella?" Esme called softly._

_"Yes."_

_"Come with me for a walk?" she asked._

_I peeked at Edward, he was humming his new composition to me; he looked over at Esme and said something too low for my human ears to pick up. I frowned at him, hating that I was kept out of loop._

_He sheepishly looked at me and nudged me in Esme's direction. I quickly got up and stumbled towards her. She held my palm in both of her hands and guided me to their lawn, walking towards her nursery- a tiny shed that Emmett had built for her to fulfill her nurturing and caring side._

_We walked through the tiny shed, my arms still sandwiched between both of hers when she turned towards me. Her soft eyes blazing with love and adoration. She hugged me tightly to her before pulling me at arm's length._

_"Bella. Thank you so much. You have brought so much joy __into __our __lives__. Edward is so happy these days. I __was __always worried about him. __He was always so alone, but now he has you to share his existence with. __I'm so glad he finally found his mate. You are without a doubt the best thing that has happened to him. I don't know how to thank you sweetie, but always know that you are now my daughter too and I love you with all my heart"_

_Tears were flowing down my eyes; I quickly brushed them on the sleeve of my shirt, sniffling loudly. "Thank you Es-...Mom" I said and hugged her tightly._

…

_"Jill." Emmett boomed. He picked me up and spun me around in rapid circles, almost making me puke my lunch all over his face._

_"Whoa. You look green." He said while putting me down and taking two steps away, still holding my shoulder to steady me._

_"Emmett!" I screeched after making sure that my lunch was not making a re-appearance. He cast a wary glance behind my back before taking a step away. Confused, I looked behind __me __to see that Ali was snickering softly while extending a baseball bat in my direction. I picked up the baseball bat and __kept a firm grip on it__._

_"What have I told you about spinning me like this shortly after I have consumed food?" I seethed while swinging the bat back and forth in a threatening manner._

_My clumsy side made an appearance and I tumbled over while making a wide arc with the bat. Thankfully strong hands caught me before my face could connect with the floor. I was flushed and embarrassed. I wanted the beautiful carpet to tear apart and swallow me._

_Beside me Emmett was guffawing loudly, his entire bulky frame shook with his laughter. He, being the one to pick me up, still had his hands on my shoulders sending tremors though my body because of his maniacal laughter._

_I swallowed my pride and ignored the entire incident before asking, "Jill?"_

_"Jack and Jill went up the hill….Jill came tumbling after" he sang as if that made all the sense in the world. A small smile crept over my face looking __over __the big buffoon that was my brother._

…

_"Bella." Alice called in her sing-song voice making me cringe into Edwards's arms. He laughed at me while pulling himself away and giving me a chaste kiss before streaking out of the room._

_"Coward." I screamed after him. I cowered back into the couch as I heard the devil's tiny footsteps approaching the door and slowly twisting the handle. She had planned some stupid two-day shopping trip to god-knows where. Somehow even Charlie had agreed to it, making me doubt if my father even loves me. I __had __been postponing our leaving by hiding in Edward's room, making Ali mad. She wants me to start getting ready. Pfft!_

_It was like a horror movie scene. The door slowly creaked open and the tiny ghost wafted through the air before softly landing in my lap making me scream and flail wildly._

_Her soft tinkering laugh was accompanied by various degrees of laughter from all around the house._

_"Oh Bella! You know you love me." she sang before kissing me on the cheek and blurring out the door._

_"Ten minutes Bella." her voice wafted through the room. I stuck my tongue out at the door, earning me a tinkering laugh from somewhere in the house._

…**.**

_"Only you Bella." Carlisle laughed softly while checking the minor bump on my head, making me blush. The glass was so clean, I bumped right into it. Forgive me for not having their superb vision. My forehead stamped on the beautiful glass as Edward slowly pulled me towards him and carried me to Carlisle._

_"All fine." he said before lifting my chin and softly looking into my eyes. Beautiful topaz into my boring dull brown._

_"Don't be embarrassed. You are a part of the family now. My daughter. I will always be there to tend to your...unfortunate accidents" his lips twitched at the end, but his love for me was evident in his eyes. I hugged him and softly kissed his cheek. While walking out of his study, my toe got caught in the ledge making me lurch towards the marble floor. __He used those superb abilities of his to gather me before I fell.__ After I was steady on my feet, he looked at me and said "Always."_

…

I tightly shut my eyes, forcing my brain to not remember them. They left me. It's no point thinking about them. They never loved me, all of it was fake. I fisted my hands, my nails digging into my skin hard enough to draw a little blood. But the pain was welcomed as it stopped the torrent of memories, 'their' memories.

A small part of me didn't want to forget them, I know I wouldn't, but thinking about my best moments with them always brought a smile to my face. Feeling nostalgic was not my thing, I hated it. I opened my palms to examine the scrape, it was gone. All healed. Only two droplets of smeared blood were visible but not the source.

It didn't surprise me, nana had told me about the healing capabilities. It was nice but sadly I didn't trip anymore. Where were my super awesome quirks when I was a frail-clumsy-danger-magnet? I huffed.

"Izzy?" my nana called softly, her eyes darting to my face and then my hands. It was her round-about way of asking if I was alright.

"I'm fine, nana." I replied, but the worry did not leave her eyes.

She motioned for me to accompany her to the porch and settled down on her recliner while patting at the arm. I got settled on the cushioned arm while my nana ran her fingers through my curls. The stress left my body immediately.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"I guess." I answered, unsure.

She did not ask me again but continued combing my hair. After a few minutes I was composed enough to launch into my long-ass story.

"My boyfriend and his family left me." I started easy, not wanting to outright say they were vampires.

"Hmm." she said.

"They were my family too, and they knew I depended on them. I loved them all and they left without even saying goodbye, not so much as a -fuck-off." she didn't reprimand me for my choice of words, I was thankful.

"And?" she asked. My nana knew me so well. She knew I was hesitating. Oh forget it! I should just tell her.

"They are vampires." I murmured softly, hoping that she did not hear it, but no such luck. Her hand halted their movements and her breath caught in her throat. I turned and faced her, there was fear in her eyes, and I quickly explained more, "They are not like 'her'. They don't even drink from humans, they hunt animals. Their family patriarch is a doctor, a very good one." And just why the fuck was I defending them? Oh Yeah, for Nana's fragile heart.

Some of the fear left her eyes and it was quickly being replaced by anger. Fuck!

"Uh...Uh...I actually didn't know about them...uh...but I found out later...uh...and sorta developed feelings for Edward…met his family..all nice...left" I stumbled through my explanation.

"IZZY." my nana called in a high voice, bringing me out of my crazy haze.

"Uh...Yeah?" I asked like a moron. I felt like banging my head against the wall, but the railing was nearest. Finally I settled for fisting my hand and banging it twice on my forehead.

"Explain." she said.

That's how I went into the explanation, barely stopping for breath. I told her everything, from how I saw them for the first time to how Edward saved me. I told her about the family, the baseball match, and the encounter with the nomads and my subsequent injuries. I earned a sharp glare from my nana when I told her about how I wanted to be changed. I lowered my head and mumbled nonsense for a while then.

"Dazzling…beautiful….mmm….family" I stammered.

Nana held my hand and said two words that made the anxiety dissappear, "I understand."

"You do?" I questioned in a meek voice.

"Supernatural beings are alluring, everything about them pulls you in." she said with a timid smile.

_Everything about me draws you in._

I shook my head to dispel Edward's words. Was it really dazzling or did I truly love him?

Sure, he was attractive but it was more addiction or obsession than love. I loved who he was, not him. His difference is what pulled me in. I felt special about being able to garner the attention of such a creature. I have been neglected as a child and as a teen. I have never talked to many people and nobody has ever shown any special interest in me. But when I moved to forks, I was able to draw in the attention of the most aloof family. I know it was my blood but, even still, I felt special. I was a part of a family that others wished they could talk to.

I had never had a boyfriend. Suddenly, I had the chance to date Edward, the 'prettiest' of them all. For the first time in my life I felt important; I didn't just blend in, I was at the very center. Esme hovered over me, Edward would never leave me alone, and Ali would drag me around the school or at her home. I wasn't alone. They were interested in me, they loved me.

It mustn't make much sense to others but it made the perfect sense to me.

I listened to Edward, did as he asked fearing he would leave me if I didn't oblige. I couldn't be alone again. I tolerated the make-overs that Ali planned. I tried to make amends with Rosalie, even though she was nothing but a bitch to me. I wanted them to accept me, love me and finally change me so that I could be with them forever. I genuinely cared for the family. I termed my obsession and infatuation with Edward as love, but I am not sure it ever was.

I was in love with the idea of being in love. I wanted to have a boyfriend, a loving family who genuinely cared for me. I was infatuated with them.

I was like a little kid at a candy store, with the option of living at the store forever. Yeah! Analogies are not my strong point.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I am talking to myself. I shook my head like a wet dog, or maybe a cat. Fuck!

"Go." nana laughed.

I looked at her with wide eyes. So...apparently I am not the only crazy one. Yay! I have company.

"Scurry away." nana said.

"Huh?" I murmured.

"Go. For. A. Run." nana spelled clearly as if talking to a loon. I guess I am one, I shrugged.

With a swift kiss to her cheek, I was up and running. One leap and I was in my panther form.

Ah! Running was so freeing. I felt like a fucking cat on high – going and shrieking in about every corner of the house. Haha. I went back to my pond and zig-zagged between the trees to just show-off a little bit. Show-off to fucking whom? My sarcastic side asked.

_Rawr_! Was my reply.

I will finally get to see my reflection.

I bounded off towards my clearing and skidded to a stop near the pond. This time I did not waste time and leaned forward to look at my reflection. WHOA!

I look so beautiful. My eyes are a lighter brown, I wonder why? I can only see my face, maybe I can shift in front of a mirror to get a full effect or I can ask nana to sketch me, if she is willing.

_Aw_! I mentally gushed. Are those my whiskers? I had a tiny button nose and my ears were perked up. I felt like kissing my reflection. I looked regal but my thoughts are more dog-like, I laughed.

My eyes seemed to shine. They drew you in. I felt mesmerized looking at myself. Now I can understand why nana was so surprised when she first saw me in my panther form.

I leaned in further, slowly my neck came into view. WOW! It was so slender, pretty, and jet black. I finally managed to rest on my hind legs..um..paws. Whatever. So that I could see most of myself reflected back in the water.

Everything seemed so surreal. This whole situation was surreal. But here I am – in my panther form. 'Regal' that's what I'd said. I looked fucking majestic.

I pulled back, but I seemed to be in a daze, my panther self seemed to be flashing in front of my eyes. I don't know how, but I managed to reach back home and shift back to my human self, picking up the sundress adeptly hidden in the backyard on the way to my room.I hoped that nana would be there. I didn't even feel like using my intensified senses to locate her. But I needed to see her, ask her if she would sketch me in my panther form.

A note was taped to the tiny mirror located behind my bedroom door.

"_Gone shopping. You need more clothes. Will also pick up some groceries on my way back home. Be Good_"

While turning back to enter the room, I caught a reflection of myself in the mirror, I moved closer to look at myself properly. I felt so dull, my human self was not so entrancing as my Panther self, but on closer inspection I could find a few similarities. My eyes were not as dark but not very light too. It looked like a flame was ignited behind them, making the boring dull brown come to life.

A slow smile spread across my face. I looked beautiful, although there were not many changes but my super eyes could pick them all. The roundness of my cheeks was gone, giving them a slender look, and a natural pout graced my lips. The tiny flecks on my cheeks, which would irritate me to no end, were all gone.

It looked like I had matured. Matured from a girl into a woman. Cheesy I know but that's how it was. And I loved the new me.

I reluctantly turned away from the mirror and plopped down on the bed with the note still clutched in my hand. I felt like I was in some sort of a trance.

I fucking dazzled myself. I mentally snickered.

I lay down on my back, staring at my cream-colored ceiling. I could easily spot the tiny cracks and the chips of paint. I picked out the pores and lulled myself into sleep counting them.

…**.**

_Crashing Waves,_

_Molding stones._

_Flowing Life,_

_Soothing tones._

_Heels Embedded,_

_Soft Sand toes._

_Roaring laughter,_

_Splashing Feet._

_Crimson hue,_

_flickering beat._

With the end of the pen stuck in my mouth, I contemplated the next line. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't come up with anything. With a huff I set the pen and my notepad aside and rolled over to lie on my back. I groaned, I suck at writing poetry.

This is what happens when I am left alone. Nana is out shopping and apparently my mood swings do not entitle me to venture out. I blew out a puff of air, effectively dislodging a lock of my hair stuck to my nose. I looked around my room, trying to locate anything that would keep me entertained for the next few hours, while my nana shopped for clothes and groceries.

A loud bang pulled me out of my depressing thoughts. I streaked down the stairs and had the front door open in no time. There was nobody there. I looked around and inhaled deeply, I could sense a perfumed lilac smell. I followed it, but it continued into the woods.

Confused, I stopped my pursuit and ran back home, there was a pink envelope on the doorstep; it was completely covered by the lilac smell, accompanied by the smell of hay. It was a little concentrated but not unpleasant. I felt like I recognized the smell, not the lilac, but the hay smell.

I ran back to my room with the envelope clutched safely into my hand.

….

**OHH! Who do you think the pink envelope is from? Review and let me know.**

**A sneak preview to the next chapter to all those who review. Finally :D**


	11. Chapter 10Related?

**Olay! Here is the next update.**

**Most of you'll were confused about the hay smell and especially the pink envelope. This chapter does not answer the questions but I am sure by the end you would all know who the letter is from.**

**Thank you to all those who reviewed, fav'd or put this story on alert. XX**

**A huge muffin-basket thanks to the lovely SecretEmpath for Beta'ing the chapter. XX**

**Pre-Read by the sweet RebelGirl22. XX**

**Emmett POV**

"Rose." I softly called. She was sitting quietly at the desk in our room, why we need a desk is beyond me, but Esme had one in each and every one of our rooms- in every one of our houses. It's actually not bad, Rosie and me have had a lot of fun with it. The images of me taking Rose against the desk swam in my head, making it impossible to think about anything else.

_Jessica Stanley's horrid boob job…Lauren Mallory's nasal voice…Edward's bare ass…gross_.

That did the trick. Any thoughts related to sex escaped my mind. My balls retracted way up my body. The image of Edward's ass was my brains last resort as it shrieked and yelped before thundering the image before my poor eyes. I might have to bleach them.

A soft sniff brought my attention back to my mate. I am such a horrible husband .

After I pulled my head out of the gutter, I walked towards Rose and turned her chair to face me. She looked upset. We can't have that.

"Let us turn that frown upside down. I don't like this desk and I know how to get rid of it." I waggled my eyebrows. Apparently, my horny brain was not _that _disturbed by the image of Eddie boy's ass. I shuddered. Not going to think about it now.

"Emmett." she said in a hard tone, but her lips did twitch. "I don't like this desk either." She finally relented.

I made a show of tapping my finger on my chin while innocently saying, "What could we do?...What could we do?"

She giggled but then in a serious voice said, "She'll think we abandoned her too."

I sighed, I had thought about it so much. But with us being surrounded by the family all the time I did not want to risk calling her. Edward would immediately be informed and return from wherever the fuck he was to yell in my face- not that I cared - but he might also return to Forks. That I didn't want. She was finally free of the controlling moron and I didn't want him to return to my sister's life.

It was the first time in the three days since we've moved, that Rose and I were alone. The others had gone hunting with the Denalis. This was actually the perfect opportunity to call my sis. Alice would be too engrossed with hunting, and chatting with the Denali sisters about shopping, to bother to look into my and Rosie's future. What we do in our alone time, or in the presence of our family in the house, is not unknown. It makes both Alice and Eddie jittery.

With my decision made. I took my phone out and dialed Bella's landline. God knows she never has her mobile on her. I couldn't be bothered to scroll through my contacts. It didn't matter, I knew her number because of my photographic memory.

I pulled Rose off the chair and sat on it myself, settling her on my lap. She snaked her arm around my chest and nestled her head in the crook of my neck.

I could hear the call going through. It was finally ringing. About fucking time.

One ring..

Two rings…pick up

Fifth ring…DARN!

I flipped the phone shut and tossed it on the bed.

"She must not be home. Call again later. We've got one whole day before they return." She looked into my eyes. As if sensing my frustration, she got up while taking my hand in hers and tugging it, "Snack time."

We dashed out of the house and into the Alaskan wilderness. The memories of her birthday party swirled before my eyes, as if I were a silent spectator witnessing it all over again.

…

_Flashback_

"Are you fucking insane? I am not leaving my baby bells." I shouted at Edward. Is he out of his fucking mind? He has no right to tell me what to do, or any of us for that matter. Fucking pansy. Does he really want us to abandon her? My baby sis. My lips curled and a loud snarl erupted from my chest.

Rose laid her hand on my shoulder slowly moving her thumb in circles, effectively calming me enough to not rip Edward apart. The fucker in question actually took a step back.

_Yeah, you fucking douche. If you think, for one second, that just because you 'order' us away from her we'll listen to you, __you are mistaken. You suggest __it one more time and I swear even Rosie won't be able to hold me back. I will rip your non-existent balls off and fucking burn them in front of your eyes. At least it will justify your suicidal and crazy behavior for the rest of your 'virgin' existence._

He looked at me with wide, panicked eyes. Yeah, I was fucking serious. I will tear him apart and gladly torch his ass for my sister. His posture changed, covertly covering his cherries. They can't be bigger anyway.

"Emmett." Esme chastised.

I didn't bother to apologize. Other times I'd gladly indulge her but this is important, and cussing is my fucking style. Esme can play mother to us all she wants but when it comes to my family, that's where I draw a fucking line. I used Jasper's technique and concealed my thoughts easily from the mind-reading pansy.

Rosie, baby bells, and Jasper are the only people I consider to be my family. I had been snooping around for information on my human family and asked Jenks to track down any of my descendents. The results were shocking. Bella is my great-grand-niece. I would have cried if I could when I discovered that Bells was my niece. It's no wonder she resembles Melissa, my sister, so much. Same brown eyes and beautiful brown curls.

She was only six years old when I was attacked by the bear and consequently changed. But I remember a little, I would always take her piggyback riding around our farm. She lovingly called me 'Me-Em'; I would always tease her that it sounded like a whining cat, but she would not budge. She would say that 'me-em' was perfect. It represented my name as well as hers, a mirror image.

Jenks fished out all the relevant details and it was a pleasant, but shocking surprise. Mel's daughter Kayla married a man named Michael. Together they had a baby girl named Renee who later married Charlie Matt Swan. They have a daughter named Isabella Marie Swan. It's so fucking crazy. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have interfered with their lives, but I know Bella. She was my baby Bells. It couldn't have been more perfect; she already considers me her brother and she knows about our existence.

In every way, I got my sister back. Even before I found out about Bella being related to me, I loved her like a sister. I would never abandon her, especially now, after discovering her true relationship to me.

And now the fucking douche wants me to leave her. Fucking pansy. Dumbfuck. Fucking retard.

I inhaled deeply and took Rose's hand in mine, tugging it lightly, to indicate that I wanted her to come with me. Without hesitation she streaked out the door, pulling my bulky frame along making me snicker. She sent me glare effectively quieting me.

We ran for a few miles, halting to a stop near a creek. She twisted around and hugged me tightly, settling her head under the crook of my neck. I snaked my arms around her slender waist and hugged her to me while laying my head softly on her hair, sniffing her unique lilac scent. She tightened her arms around me and whispered, "What is bothering you so much?"

I didn't know how to tell her. She leaned back from my chest and looked at me. She must have noticed the battling emotions in my eyes. She took a step away from me and held my face in her hands, forcing me to look in her eyes.

"Emmett?"

Just a single word from her asked so many questions. But looking into her eyes I saw all the love, adoration, and worry she had for me.

I can tell her, it's not that she hates Bells. She only wants a better future and life for her. I looked at her and breathed in her scent one more time before telling her everything,

"Rosalie." I started and she flinched. I mentally berated myself for hurting my mate. I have never called her Rosalie. During the time we have been together, Rose or Rosie are the only names to which I refer to her. I have only referred to her once by her given name, which was when we were being approached by a nomad on our vacation. I had asked her to stand back and let me deal with him, but she refused. She held my hand and stood by my side. I had ground out her name with clenched teeth, indicating how serious I was but she did not budge. Thankfully after that incident we have never been in any similar situation that was threatening enough to warrant such behavior.

She is referred to as Rose only by her family, and Rosie by me. I immediately felt bad, but this situation is important. Bella holds a special place in my heart and I needed Rose to understand.

"Rose." I rectified but didn't apologize. She needed to understand that this was important to me. I know she will but I'm confused by everything that's happening, as well as her dislike and rude behavior towards Bells. She will have to accept Bella, I know she is trying to protect her in her own way, but treating Bella like shit is not acceptable to me anymore. We have fought over it enough already; today I need to tell her everything.

She regarded me with her watchful gaze, trying to decipher my mood and the reason behind my behavior. I looked at her and flatly said,

"Bella is related to me by blood" this time she visibly flinched and took a step back.

Still maintaining eye contact she sat down on a log and said, "Why did you feel the need to hide it from me? Why did you not tell me that you have been keeping tabs on your human family Emmett? Do you meet them behind my back?" she asked in a level voice. But the hurt was apparent to me. She thought that I hid my human family from her.

"It's not like that" I started but she interrupted me,

"How is it then?" she said in a high voice.

"Will you fucking let me complete. I have not hid anything from you and I most certainly am not meeting my human family behind your back. What makes you think that I will put them in such a grave danger? What makes you think that I would do that knowing very well that the Volturi will kill them all if they ever got to know?"

Some of the anger left her eyes and her posture relaxed a bit, so I continued,

"A few weeks back, I had asked Jenks to track down my family members. I wanted to know if any of them were alive. Two days back he sent me an envelope with all the necessary details."

"Ohh" she said.

"Do you remember me talking to you about Mel?" I asked.

"Ofcourse I do."

"Well she was only six when I was changed." I immediately regretted my words as a haunted look replaced the curiosity on Rose's face. I went to her and hugged her.

"Rosie please don't blame yourself, I love you for what you did. You saved me. I love my new life and I love it even more because I get to spend it with you. Please don't blame yourself. You did the right thing. I would have forced you to bite me, even if I wasn't being attacked by the bear. You, not Carlisle, because I don't swing that way." I said trying to lighten up her mood. It worked and a timid beautiful smile graced her face.

I softly pecked her on the lips before telling her everything. Everything that I have felt and known. She listened silently, not interrupting and only after I was finished did she look at me with venom filled eyes.

"I am so sorry Emmett for treating Bella like that but you have to know I don't hate her. I actually like her. I just thought that if I were to push her away from us she would free of that possessive contollling douche. I only wanted her to build a happy life for herself. She would meet her true soul mate, have children and grow old. Everybody was so nice to her that I knew that she would eventually ask to be changed in order spend forever with him. My fears were confirmed and I started behaving in an even more degrading manner…" she sobbed

I went to hug her, comfort my mate in the way only I could, but she held up her hands. I halted in my movements and settled for sitting down on the ground near the log with my feet touching hers.

"I need to explain." she cried. Taking in a few deep breaths she managed to calm herself down enough to continue, "Everyone in our family loves her, including me." she started in a meek voice completely surprising me, but I did not interfere, she needed to explain.

"But nobody in the family bothered to tell her the negative parts about this life; living an eternity without sleep, without food, without being able to go out in the sun, without…chil..dren" she was now sobbing loudly. Unable to control myself I got up and pulled her in my lap and settling on the log again. It took her a good half-hour to compose herself. She did not raise her head but continued talking into my chest.

"Sure Edward told her, but nobody explained to her how it would feel. She was blinded by our other alluring quirks. I thought she would at least wait for a while, take sometime to think about her decision. Bella is a very lovely girl but she is also naïve; I wanted her to make an informed decision. I wanted to give her time to realize what Edward really is- a possessive-controlling-douche. All in all, I just wanted to give her time." she murmured the last part softly.

I can't believe that I doubted my Rosie for even a second, she has the most thoughtful, no…the most compassionate heart of us all. She just wanted Bella to take a step back and think.

In trying to do well by Bella, she incurred the anger of each and every family member, even me. I was ashamed of myself. Out of all of us, Rose cares for Bella the most. She cares enough to let her make an informed decision, to let her know all our flaws. To understand the sadness that sometimes fills our hearts when we see people around us ageing, gradually growing and then proceeding onto their afterlife. The jealousy that flares in our hearts when we see people strolling out in the sun, while we have to stay within the confines of the shadows. The grief that tears at our heart when we see couples playing with their children. The grief my Rosie feels when she sees a pregnant woman.

None of us ever bothered to explain any of it to Bella. All she new was that she would get to live forever, having amazing speed and vision. That she would get to travel a lot and the assurance that she would not kill humans for her sustenance. We never got around to explain the crazy first newborn year that she would have to pass through or that we would be living in places there was hardly, if any, sunlight. That we wouldn't be able to eat or sleep. She understands the concept but she doesn't know that we crave that feeling so much when we are changed, she just konws that we can't eat or sleep. We basically painted her a happy attractive picture.

My Rosie was strong in pointing out the flaws and trying to give her the time to look at the painting closely and find them herself.

"Oh Rosie." I breathed.

"I hope I made some sense." she nervously giggled.

Yes, she made more fucking sense than all of us combined.

"I'm so sorry babe. So sorry." I said into her hair. I can't bear to face her after what I did. I am the worst husband and mate, but I will make it up to her. I will apologize for all eternity if that's what it takes.

Sensing my pain she peeked at me before standing up and then kneeling down on the ground so that we were at face level.

"I also wanted her to grow a back-bone. She doesn't deserve to be pushed around by Alice and Edward. She should be strong enough to make her own decisions. She doesn't need approval from anybody, except her parents. I pushed but she never once retaliated. I thought that if I went further that she would snap, but she never did. That made me hate her even more than like her. I wanted her to be strong. I.." I couldn't let her finish her thought. I kissed her, I poured all of my love into that one kiss.

I don't deserve her, no one in my family deserves her. My Rosie is even more loving than Bella. The only difference is that she doesn't coddle the people she loves, she makes them face their fears. She makes them grow and understand. That's the best kind of love any person can get.

"Please forgive me." I murmured against her lips.

"I love you." she replied.

Venom pooled in my eyes. I would have cried but I don't deserve to.

"I don't deserve you." I said while lowering my head.

"Emmett, look at me." She demanded. I had no other option but to lift my head, her eyes were blazing with love and anger. Fuck! What did I do now?

"WE both deserve each other. I may have done things that weren't worthy but I know that we are good for each other. I wish that we were both human and had a hundred children together, growing old and watching them grow." She shook her head as if to get back to the point, I know her so well, "the point is, you're good enough for me. You are my one and only source of pure love and happiness. I know you're meant for me." she said with such conviction.

"You are my soulmate. My other half." This time she kissed me, but before we could proceed any further we were interrupted by a sonic shrill voice.

"I CANT SEE…HUNTING HUMANS…MY MATE." Alice. I rolled my eyes.

…..

"Em?...Em?" I was jerked out of my crazy drive down memory lane by Rose. I was quickly pulled out of my funk and shook my head, before she decided to slap me. It was a serious possibility.

"About time," she muttered, "I was seriously considering slapping you awake." She grumbled under her breath, making me want to roll my eyes. I refrained, it wasn't worth the risk. I wanted some love tonight. Rose is pretty serious about shit, and actually makes me sleep- not literally- on the couch. My pouting and groveling gets me nowhere.

"Where did you go?" she asked.

"Thinking back about _that night_." I answered, not elaborating.

"Ohh.." She stretched the word out so long that I wanted to pinch her lips between my fingers just to stop that lingering 'OH'.

She remained quite for a while and then pulled me towards her, without warning, making me jerk forward.

"What?" I spluttered.

No reply.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Forks."

**How do you like the Emmett pov? Think Rose was justified in her behavior? What about Em and Bella being related?**

**Review and let me know.**

**XOXO- amie**


	12. Chapter 11 Angel

**Aye Aye! Mes amigos. Gracias for ye wonderful reviews!**

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**Most of you'll are fine with it being a while before Bella and Jasper meet. Muah! So now I have decided to continue writing this story in the way I had originally intended. (Don't ya worry though, you will be getting your Jasper fixes too. Maybe a chapter from his POV or another naughty dream *winks*)**

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**A huge muffin-basket thanks to the lovely SecretEmpath for Beta'ing the chapter. XX**

**Pre-Read by the sweet RebelGirl22. XX**

Previously-

_A loud bang pulled me out of my depressing thoughts. I streaked down the stairs and had the front door open in no time. There was nobody there. I looked around and inhaled deeply, I could sense a perfumed lilac smell. I followed it, but it continued into the woods._

_Confused, I stopped my pursuit and ran back home, there was a pink envelope on the doorstep; it was completely covered by the lilac smell, accompanied by the smell of hay. It was a little concentrated but not unpleasant. I felt like I recognized the smell, not the lilac, but the hay smell._

_I ran back to my room with the envelope clutched safely into my hand._

I plopped down on the bed with my legs crossed, Indian style. I curiously sniffed the envelope again; the lilac smell was the strongest with just a hint of hay. I knew the lilac smell belonged to a vampire but I didn't know who.

I could easily detect a vampire scent after my panther-transformation. I remember my room reeked of vanilla the night I had returned from the woods. I was so exhausted that I didn't give it much thought but the next morning the concentrated scent still lingered in my room, making me open the window and change the bed sheet. I knew that scent belonged to Edward and wanted to rid my personal belongings of it as soon as possible. I had sprayed lavender scented freshner all over my room and cleaned every inch of it while anxiously waiting for Nana to arrive. At that point I didn't know that I could transform into a panther at will, but I couldn't bear the vanilla smell one bit. It's funny how I didn't pay attention to the fact that I could smell his scent so strongly. I'm pretty absent-minded most of the times.

I tore the envelope open and a thick wad of folded parchment fell down along with a tiny strip of paper. I picked up the paper first and took a whiff, it smelled like hay. Like Emmett.

That's it! Emmett had this unique hay smell, I remember now. He had caught me sniffing his shirt once while he gave me one of his infamous bear hugs. I had blushed like a tomato and stuttered that he smelled like hay, a barn more specifically. This in turn had made me blush even harder and the buffoon laughed. I was just about to faint from the embarrassment when Edward saved me by whisking me away to his room. No matter how far I was, I could still hear Emmett's booming laughter.

No wonder it took me a while to recognize this smell as his. The paper had a few new facets to the smell, like I could smell a little tangy orange smell and very faint smell of sandalwood. The lilac smell though, had deep undertones of rose with it. It wasn't overwhelming but it smelled like some sort of perfume.

I unfolded the small strip of paper and stared down,

_Belly-Boo,_

_I love you and I would never abandon you. You are my sister. I would go to any length to protect you, even if that entails ripping the fucking douche who caused all this shit in the first place. I've got much to tell you and an awesome news to share. Sorry for the short note but I'm in a hurry and well Rosie's long-ass letter remedies the fact._

_Your Emmy-bear._

_P.S- You'll be seeing us soon._

I folded the paper back and safely put it under my pillow. I was in a daze. My brother didn't abandon me. He loves me and he's coming to see me.

What upset me the most was that my family had abandoned me. The people who I had held most dear, just left without a backward glance. I held each one of them close to my heart and cherished each of their distinctive traits.

That day in the woods, I was completely torn between feeling utterly devastated at their departure orfeeling the all-consuming anger and hate at their abandonment. A part of me mourned their loss whereas another part of me felt sick from the amount of pain it caused me. Their abrupt departure also made me want to hunt them down and yell in their faces, letting all the anger and hurt flow in rivulets of harsh words.

Although a tiny part of me, a _really _tiny part, wanted to look for them and beg them to come back or at least take me with them. My pride and ego beat that tiny part into submission, daring it to voice that thought again. I am _not _pathetic. And I would never stoop down to that level.

Edward's departure hurt, but not as much as never getting to see my family again. I was particularly close to Emmett and Esme. Edward and Ali were a constant presence in my life, so much so that at times I desperately wished for a break from them. The family leaving hurt more than anything else. Edward had been steadily pushing me away. I didn't realize it then, but I do now: every time he thwarted my attempts to take our relationship to the next level, every time he disregarded my feelings and wishes, every time he made decisions for me, he was pushing me away from him. I was so far gone that after the initial prick of hurt had ended, I did not cry over him again.

The break up in the woods was abrupt. I had never thought it would happen but his words pierced my heart. All my insecurities were laid before me and he used every one of them against me. He played me.

And I let him.

That hurt me the most. I gave him the right to rule my life in a rolled-up parchment on a silver plate. I put up with his behavior and his controlling ways, thus giving him the right to proceed to the next level. If I would have put him in his place much earlier, I wouldn't have had to go through so much. I was blinded by their vampire life so much that I didn't want to lose my one chance to join them. I didn't want to lose my one shot at eternity. Being with Edward guaranteed me that at some point he would relent and change me. If not him, then I could convince Em or Ali to do it. But I would only do that if I was with Edward.

My pathetic behavior sickened me. I wanted to slap my naïve self into oblivion.

A strange reminder jolted me back to reality.

_'Rosie's long-ass letter'_

_Rosalie _wrote me a letter? The lilac scent must belong to her. Why would she write to me? She was nothing but a bitch to me. I thought she must have partied after Edward left me. She hated me.

Not that I cared but I was curious as to why she was writing to me. I opened the roll of parchment and snorted.

Seriously? She couldn't have used normal paper like Em. No, she had to be all dramatic about a letter too. Parchment and pink envelope?

Ice queen went all out with this one. At least the envelope didn't have a seal on it. I mentally laughed.

I sucked in a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

_Dear Bella,_

_Let me start by apologizing for my rude and very uncalled-for behavior towards you. I am Sorry. I mean it from my heart._

_I care for you __very much__, it may be surprising, but I do care for you like a little sister. _

_It was__ your naïve and extremely trusting attitude __that __made me behave towards you in such a horrid manner. It was never my intention to hurt you. I merely wanted you to take a step back and ponder. Really recognize us all for who we truly are. You are an extremely caring and compassionate soul who wishes to see only good in everybody and every aspect of our life. __It's __not all cherries and roses as you make out to be, Bella. I just wanted to thwart you off in the hopes of you finally taking some time to think through your decision about us._

_Everytime I saw you and Edward together, I could see my human self in you. It made me want to protect you even more. __I couldn't point out Edward's controlling ways to you.__ You would never have believed me. But trust me, I have been in your shoes. __I too was enchanted by a man who I thought was my prince charming, my own shot at a happily ever after but all I got was a horrifying end. __My fairytale shattered before my own eyes, the pain of your dream smashing, seeing your castle of happiness crumble to pieces before you is the kind of pain I can't even begin to describe._

_I could never let that happen to you, Bella._

_My fiancé Royce was just like Edward and my human self was much too similar to you, except the fact that I was a lot more vain than you. My parents cherished my beauty, flaunted me as a trophy for all to see. That was all I was, a trophy._

_I truly did love Royce.__ The fact that he was from a wealthy family made my parents push me forward to win his affections. And that's what I did. __In __a month's time, we were engaged. Royce paraded __me around town,__ showing off his beautiful fiancée. I loved the attention __and __I loved the gifts. I was so blinded by it all that I didn't notice that Royce now ruled my every thought. The way I spoke changed,__the way I dressed changed. The only people I met were the ones that Royce approved __of__. I was very happy in my own bubble, blissfully ignorant of the puppet I was turning into._

_I got all I wanted and much more. I became even more vain and judgmental. In defending Royce's controlling ways, I hurt the feelings of the people who genuinely cared for my well-being._

_And cost me it did. It cost me human life._

_It cost me my wish to bear children._

_I would like to tell you more about my human life, but I would prefer to do it in person. All I can say is that I was not lucky enough to survive an incident similar to the one you had in Port Angeles. __However__, instead of four drunken men, my prince charming and his friends dealt me my end._

_I was left on the street to die, and that's what I truly wanted. I wanted the pain to end._

_Carlisle saw me lying on the street brutally raped and left to die, he decided to change me._

_I __didn't __want this life._

_I had a violent end to my human life. My rebirth in this immortal life was __anything but__ smooth. I was crazy with the need for vengeance, it ruled my every thought. Each breath I took made the monster in me thirst for blood. Their blood._

_After gaining a semblance of control as the newborn haze waned a bit, I got my revenge. I made them each beg for death, made them all pay for violating me. I saved Royce for last; I ripped each of his limbs apart slowly before gauging his eyes out. He was met with a very painful death._

_I __don't __mean to scare you by describing the ways in which I killed them. I merely want you to know that the more violent I was with them, the more my monster purred in satisfaction. The price they paid for their sins was very minor to the pain I have to bear for all eternity._

_I cannot explain to you the pain I feel every time I see a child or an expectant mother. It tears at my heart that I cannot have the one thing I desire the most._

_Emmett fulfills my each and every need, but the only need I have is to be a mother.__ I want it so bad._

_All I can say Bella __is that __I deeply care for you. __I could see it in your eyes; you were weaving a magical dream before you. It is not all pleasant Bella. I wanted you to pause and just look around with open eyes. I wanted to wean the soft veil that you had cocooned yourself in. Because I didn't want you to deal with the pain of it being violently ripped off._

_When you first came into our lives, I was a little mad __with __Edward involving a human into our lives and endangering us all. Emmett seemed to love you, __though__, he was so happy. He waited like a little child for you to arrive at our house. __After __seeing him so happy, I took a step back from my fears and took time to observe you. I was extremely mad that you wouldn't back off. Even in the presence of seven vampires, you were always at ease._

_Emmett __loves __you __like __a sister already. But I couldn't allow myself to be as loving as the others were towards you. __I saw the way you interacted with Edward from the very beginning and it brought back the ugly memories I had tried very hard to bury.__ I could easily picture myself in your shoes, happily dancing towards my dream._

_My soul cried. I __couldn't __reach out soon enough to pull you away from the pain and hurt that lurked around the edges. My hands __were __outstretched but never being able to catch you._

_I am so very sorry Bella. Sorry for everything._

_I should have explained __this __to you sooner. I should have cast aside my fear of you not believing me. __The fear that by pointing it out all to you, you it might have made you do something hasty and hurt yourself in the process__._

_I am sorry for being mad at you for wanting to throw away your human life like it meant nothing._

_It is your life. Your decisions._

_All I can do is point __you in __the right direction, to the best of my judgment._

_But the journey is yours._

_Love, _

_Rose_

I looked up from the letter, my mouth opening and closing. No sound came out.

Rosalie. Rose….How?

Even my thoughts weren't coherent.

Rosalie, the one person who I was sure hated me, is the one person who cared for me the most. Although she was a bitch to me, I can't be angry at her. As hard as it is to believe, she just had my best interest at heart.

I wished that she could have been here. I would have hugged the crap out of her.

After reading the letter, I felt like apologizing to her. I don't know why.

_Maybe because you were blind enough to not notice the truth about everything? _

_Maybe because you were pathetic enough to let Edward control you? _

_Maybe because you were stupid enough to cast aside the people who cared for you?_

_Maybe because you were careless enough to endanger your life, as well as your parents, by associating with them in the first place? _

_Maybe, just maybe, because you were vain enough to overlook the pain it would cause your parents if Edward finally relented and decided to change you?_

Urgh. STOP! I covered my ears with my hands and shook my head.

It was all true. I was so self-centered and vain that I neglected everything that was important to me. I overlooked the fact that Edward controlled me. It was never love. I was just a possession to him, a puppet. He would pull the right strings and I would dance.

I cut of all contact with Billy and Jake, when all Billy did was look out for me and try to protect me.

I was so self-absorbed that I didn't take into account that my interaction with them would at some point cost my parents.I was so blinded by them that I begged to be changed, never once did I think about what that would do to my parents. They would lose their only daughter.

I was jolted out of my self-loathing as the phone rang. I ran downstairs and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Is this Ms. Isabella Swan?"

"Yes. May I know who is calling?"

"My name is Dr. Pete. I'm calling from Forks general hospital. I am sorry to inform you that your grandmother Kayla McCarty-Reed just passed away."

**What do you think of Rosalie's letter? Bella's epiphany? (sorta)**

**Review and let me know. Sneak preview of the next chapter to all ye wonderful reviewers.**

**Love- amie**

**Also, I seemed to have confused my new readers. So I would also like to mention that I had started the repost on 6/23.**

**I would also like to mention that I am not going to deviate (much) from the original storyline. I just have a few additions and all.**

**Phew! That's about it. *dips hat and vanishes***


	13. Chapter 12

**Olay! Here is the next update. I have already mentioned about Bella and Emmett being related in this story. If any of y'all are confused, I would suggest that you go back and read the ninth chapter.**

**I would also like to mention that I respect all of your wishes as regards the story to a certain extent. But I am going to say this once and for all, that if you start **_**dictating**_** about how a character should behave or about the presence of wolves then I am not going to entertain your every whim. If you want the story to go a particular way or any character to react or behave in a particular manner then write your own story.**

**If you do not like the story or the pairing then do not read.**

**Now that we have it all cleared. Let's move on with the story. Also in my story, Bella is not aware of the fact that Emmett's human surname was McCarty. Hope this clears all your doubts.**

**Thank you to all those who reviewed, fav'd or put this story on alert.**

**Beta'd by SecretEmpath and pre-read by RebelGirl22.**

…_**.ONE WEEK LATER.….  
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**Bella POV  
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_A soft gushing noise made me open my eyes and __I was greeted with a clear blue sky__. Not a single cloud marred the vast blue expanse. The sun shone brightly and rays of bright warm sunlight tingled on my skin making me sigh._

_I stared around in wonder and noticed that I was at the La Push beach. Two huge coconut trees stood along the right side, distinct from the wide green growth that marked a perimeter around the beach. I looked straight at the water; wave after wave crawled towards my feet before receding back again. My feet were firmly planted in the sand. I threw my head back wanting to soak as much sunlight as possible. The wind was blowing lightly making my hair dance softly to an unknown tune. Throwing my hands out on my sides, I wriggled my toes, successfully dislodging the sand around. I felt so at peace here._

_This time when the wave came, I walked a little forward with my arms still outstretched, so that the water could glide over my feet. The soft ripples of water reaching out as far as they could go. The wave felt like a soft caress on my feet. I sighed and then giggled as it receded; making me feel like it was trying to suck me in the ocean._

_I closed my eyes and relished in the feeling of serenity surrounding me. I stayed like that for a long time, breathing in the salty air when I noticed something shift. It was just a tiny tingle that ran up my spine. When.._

"_Bella", _he_ called softly. I turned around; I was no longer at the beach._

_I was in _our_ meadow. Rustling leaves now replaced the soft gushing sound of the waves. The soft grass sheet under my feet shined with droplets of water._

_The simple beauty of it made me sigh. I looked up and there, perched upon the same rock as last time was _my_ Jasper- looking as breath-taking as the last time. Although this time, he was staring directly at me. __His green eyes danced with a playfulness that looked beautiful on his face._

_I wanted to cry looking at him. He looked so beautiful. It made me want to sing silly melodies and dance around sprinkling flowers, letting the whole world in on my feelings. A beautiful smile appeared on his face making my heart skip a beat. He raised his hand and motioned for me to go to him. My feet started moving in his direction without my brain prompting it to do so._

_Jasper was my sole focus; everything __else around me became blurry.__ I __couldn't __reach to him fast enough. His hand was still out-stretched. I reached out with my own, but the moment my hand touched his he broke. His entire form __broke __into thousands of bright crystal like pieces that danced away with the wind, __leaving nothing in its wake__._

_I feverishly looked around; the vast greenery seemed to be closing in on me, making me shut my eyes._

_When I opened them, I noticed that I was not in the meadow anymore. I was at the Cullen's house. It looked creepy from the outside, wide green tentacle-like growths clawed out around the house giving it an eerie feeling. Esme really needs to tend to the vegetative problem, I thought. _

_Thin clouds of mist ran over the house making it look even more daunting. Yet I hesitantly made my way in._

_I opened the living room door and tentatively stepped inside. I __couldn't __see anything. The entire __house __was filled with mist. The white fog made it impossible to see anything beyond a few inches. I felt claustrophobic __and pulling__ in deep breaths was not helping either. I turned around to leave __but stopped__ when I heard someone play a beautiful melody on the piano. My fear waned a bit when abruptly the melody morphed into the lullaby Edward had written for me, dread filled my heart. __There was something off__, and because of the mist I was totally blind. I halted my movements and stood rooted to wherever I was._

_Suddenly a ghostly white hand creeped out from the mist and reached for me making me scream and take a step back. The last thing I saw before the mist __filled __in again was red eyes looking straight at me. It chilled me to my bone._

_I tightly shut my eyes and tumbled backwards, hitting something hard. __I felt around with my hands and knew it was his piano. __My heart lurched and my flight instinct took over. I turned around and ran towards the way I knew would lead me out._

_I tilted my head around to check if anybody was following when I noticed that I __wasn't __in the Cullen house of horror anymore. I sighed in relief_

_I was in my own house now. _

_The mist had dissipated and only swam around ankle deep. A soft noise alerted me to a presence behind me. I slowly turned around and saw that it was Nana. She was humming softly while sitting on the rocking chair __with __her eyes closed. She looked so peaceful and happy. My breath got caught in my throat and my hand reached forward to trace her silhouette._

_She slowly opened her eyes and smiled at me, "Izzy." She called._

_"Nana!" I cried. I had missed her so much._

_She got up and swiftly glided towards me, the mist that swam around in the house made it impossible for me to see her move. She now stood in front of me __reaching __for my hand __and __gently tugging me towards her. I tentatively hugged her, afraid that my touch might make her disappear._

_"Nana." I sobbed and hugged her tight after making sure she was still there._

_"I miss you so much." I tightened my arms around her __trying to make sure she would never leave me again._

_"Izzy." She spoke __soothingly __while running her fingers through my hair making me sigh and snuggle into her more. She gently sat down on __the __bed that I __didn't __notice was there and cradled my head in her lap._

_"I'm with your grandfather now. I'm happy." She said._

"_Please don't leave me" I cried._

_"I won't Bella." I heard my Dad say. I crawled backwards and with wide eyes looked at my father. __He was a vampire with daunting red eyes._

_"D-d-a-a..d" I stuttered._

"_I won't Bella" he said as his eyes turned pitch black and he lunged for my throat._

…

"AAAHHH" I screamed as I bolted upright. Cold arms hugged me, making me scream and flail even more. As the arms tightened around me, it was impossible to move.

"AHHH….Don't" I screamed while thrashing my head around wildly.

"Bella" a soft feminine voice called. "Bella. No one is going to hurt you. It was just a dream. Just a dream. It's over Bella." the same voice said as it ran its hand over my cheek and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"Just a dream. Not real. You are safe" the voice soothed.

I took in a shuddering breath, masking the hiccup that threatened to tear out of my throat, and exhaled loudly before slowly opening my eyes.

I was greeted by the soft honey eyes of none other than Rosalie Hale. I looked up to the person who was holding me and saw that it was Emmett.

"Em" I bawled and tightly hugged him, "Emmy" I cried into his chest.

"Belly" he choked out and laid a soft kiss on my head, "Baby sis I love you" he said, his bulky frame shook with emotion.

I cried and cried. I cried for everything. Everybody. I finally let all the bottled up emotions free. Emmett just held me, not saying anything. Rose settled herself behind me and was making circular motions on my back.

I cried for my nana. I missed her so much.

The day when I got the fateful phone call, I had crumbled to the floor in shock. I had somehow managed to crawl down and kneel in front of the door. For me, nana had just gone shopping and I was waiting for her to arrive. I didn't move from my position for six hours. My knees were killing me, but I was numb. I couldn't do anything. I waited and waited.

Jake me found me curled into a fetal position the next day. I must have dosed off at some point. He gently woke me up, cradled me in his arms, and hugged me tightly. He told me that Charlie had called Billy, worrying that I wasn't answering his calls for the past few hours.

"Where's your Nana? Charlie said that she has come to visit." He asked. That one question had sent me on an emotional overdrive. I had screamed and cried, frightening Jake. He held me tightly while calling Billy. I had continued to scream, cry and punch him. He found it increasingly difficult to hold me. I wanted the pain to end; I felt caged.

I had managed to escape his hold while he was talking on the phone to Billy. I ran out the open front door and out in the woods with Jake hot on my heels. I had leaped and transformed mid-air, leaving Jake stunned. I must have run for over an hour before returning back home, I could feel both Jake and Billy in the house. I pulled on my sundress after transforming back, without entering the house I softly called Jake out and simply asked him to take me to the hospital. I didn't have any means of transport as nana had taken my truck with her. He immediately obliged although I could see worry and shock in his eyes. We reached the hospital in no time. I jumped out of my seat and rushed inside.

After completing all the formalities and talking to , we left. He told us that Nana had a massive heart attack while she was driving. She lost control of the truck and crashed into a nearby tree. She had passed away before she was even rushed to the hospital.

I had just one thing left to do. During one of our chats, Nana had told me that she hadn't buried my grandpa. Instead, she always carried his ashes with her in a can. She was adamant that when she died she wanted that her ashes be emptied in water, together with grandpa.

I had dispersed their ashes while standing at the bottom of the La Push cliffs. I knew that she and grandpa would both have liked it. It was a very peaceful goodbye to my grandparents, along with the assurance that they were now together in heaven and looking down upon me with love. I had raised my head towards the sky and let the rain wash away all my tears.

"Bella." Em called while cradling my face in his hands and wiping away the tears, but it was no use as more kept coming.

"Bella." he called again, worry radiated from his entire form. Yet, I was unable to compose myself enough to answer him.

"Now you're worrying me." he said while trying to look into my eyes, "What happened after we left? Did someone hurt you? Did Edward do something?"

I took in a deep breath. I wanted to stop him from spiraling into an anxiety attack, because God knows my vampire brother was really capable of having one right now.

I opened my mouth to answer him, when I was interrupted by Rosalie, "Will you let her calm down first? Here" she said while handing me a bottle of water.

Gulping down the water, I thought she must have run down to fetch it at some point during my breakdown. I was grateful for the gesture.

I took my sweet time putting the cap back on while running my finger along it to avoid the questions I knew Em wanted answers to. He pulled the bottle from my hand, robbing me of my distraction. I puffed and looked at him.

"You left." I accused. My deep seated anger making an abrupt appearance.

He cast his eyes downward in shame, immediately making me feel horrible. I put my hand on his cheek, trying to pull them up into the goofy smile that I loved.

I opened my mouth to speak, when Rosalie interrupted me. Again. I frowned in anger but she was sitting behind me. So I settled for puffing.

"He didn't want to leave you. I convinced him too." she said in a meek voice.

"What?" I turned around to look at her. I thought she cared for me. I'd just started to respect her and thenshe has to bitch-slap my naïve self back into reality.

'Letter.." I must have murmured out loud.

She immediately shook her head and said, "I meant each word"

Okay. This was not helping. She needs to elaborate more. I raised my eyebrow at her.

"After Jasper lunged for you, Edward thought that our presence in your life was a constant danger to you. He asked the family to leave. Obviously most of us disagreed." She said. I wonder who she meant by 'most of us'. I also took notice of the fact that she'd said 'lunged' and not 'attacked'.

She hesitated for a while before saying, "Alice backed him up"

My lips formed a perfect 'O' as realization dawned on my face. 'Of course' I muttered sarcastically. They are some kind of freaky twins. Whatever Edward does, Alice agrees too.

It was absolutely true. Whenever I would disagree with my 'Barbie time', Edward would jump in and make me feel guilty about hurting Ali's feelings. Similarly, when I had refused to go to prom; inspite of my injury, Alice had fooled me and dolled me up for her brother. They always backed up each other.

"Bella there are so many things that you _need_ to know." she emphasized.

"Before that, _you_ need to tell me what happened to you" Emmett butted in. I couldn't be mad at him, after all he was just worried about me.

My breakdown must have really worried him.

But letting all of the bottled up grief out did make me feel lighter. I felt alright for the first time since the past week and inspite of the freaky dream I had in the morning, I was sure of one fact.

My Nana was in heaven, along with my Grandpa. I couldfeel it in me. The knot that I carried around in my chest had loosened. I just had to let it go.

I looked up and just closed my eyes, allowing myself to feel the contentment. My Nana is happy.

A timid smile broke out on my face. I was alright and I know that happiness is just around the block. I could not blame myself or Godfor taking away my Nana. By holding onto her, I was robbing her of the chance of being with Grandpa in heaven. For years they both held on, their only intention was to protect me. What happened with Grandpa was unfortunate but my Nana stayed strong, for me.

She did so much for me. I was going to live my life, embrace the reality and train for the future. I owed it to them.

Emmett loosened his hold on me, his huge arms just hugged my shoulders lightly now. I sighed. My brother was here. I know it's all going to be better now. I snuggled into his embrace, grateful that he was here for me.

I was shaken out of my reverie by a loud bang. I looked up to see that I was now cradled in Rosalie's arms as Emmett stood protectively before us.

"Let. Her. Go." Jake growled each word out. He was trying really hard to not phase in the middle of my room.

I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep, but I knew that if I didn't get this situation under control soon, it would be bad.

I tried to get up, but Rosalie tightened her hold and tried to shush me while patting my back. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I tried to get up again, earning me the same response. She even tried to tuck my head in her neck for me to avoid looking at Jake.

"I'm fine." I croaked. Need more water I thought. All three of their startled gazes landed on me. Jake took one look at me and started shaking, horribly.

Emmett immediately took a step back, shielding me from his view. This was not good.

"Jake. Calm down." I tried to say in a firm voice, but again it came out croaked. I took advantage of Rosalie's momentary distraction, and weaseled out of her hold, quickly standing in front of Jake. I heard her yelp and the whoosh of Emmett's body moving before I felt his arms on my back, fisting into my sweatshirt while trying to pull me back. He didn't want to set Jake off anymore, so he was trying to be covert. I barely restrained my snort; Emmett being covert was like a bull in a china shop. No chance.

Before he could pull me back, I hugged Jake. I heard two gasps from behind me, which I ignored.

"Jake. I am fine." I held his face in my hands and forced him to look at me. I didn't say anything. I just kept looking at him, trying to reassure him that I was fine. He finally relented and his shaking subsided.

He hugged me back and sniffed my hair. I just kept running my hand along his back, trying to calm him. He sniffed my hair one more time before looking at me. In no time at all, he had me behind his back as he faced Em and Rose.

That. Is. It.

I growled loudly and all three of them looked at me, somehow managing to come out of their glaring contest.

"They are dangerous.."

"He's not safe…"

"Bella get your ass here right now.."

I knew that trying to explain anything to them in this situation was impossible. So I calmly walked out of my bedroom and down to the kitchen. I was starving. As I fixed myself a sandwich, I could hear some commotion upstairs before all three of them barreled into the kitchen. Em and Jake looked furious, whereas Rose seemed to have come out of her protective mode and now stood near the door frame, just observing.

I continued munching on my sandwich and didn't pay any attention to them; they slowly seemed to calm down. Their mini-growls and grumbles receded. I finally looked at them. Jake looked totally disheveled, he didn't even have his shirt on. He must have quickly phased outside my house and then come in.

I looked at Emmett. He almost looked same with the exception of his eyes, they were a dark gold. Temper trouble, I mentally laughed. Finally I looked at Rosalie, she looked beautiful as ever. The only difference was that her eyes that were always cold and filled with dislike now held respect and concern. Concern for me or Em, I didn't know.

I slowly got up, completely avoiding both buffoons and made my way towards Rosalie. She seemed a bit wary as I hugged her, but the tension left her body and she hugged me back.

"Thank you."

"I am so sorry."

We both said at the same time before stepping back.

"Bella.."

"Rosalie.."

We both started again and then laughed. I looked at her and was about to tell her how heartfelt her letter was when she said,

"Rose"

"Huh?" I muttered, completely confused.

"Call me Rose. My family does" she said with a smile.

"Rose." I started when I was interrupted _again_, this time by Jake.

"Listen Blondie" he pointed a finger at her and took a step forward, Em immediately got in front of him. I rolled my eyes in frustration. I'd had enough of their nonsense.

"ENOUGH" I said in a loud voice and both the retards wide eyes landed on me.

"I am really tired this." I said while wildly flapping my arms. "So, I am going to say this once and for all. Em," I turned to him and said, "Jake is a friend and he will not phase in the house." I emphasized the 'not phase' by directing a glare at the short-fuse. He huffed and puffed before relenting. "And Jake, Em and Rose mean no harm, they are family."

Rose looked startled but happy. She gave me a huge smile before going towards Em. He tried to put her behind him.

"Now. If your pissing contest is over, all the crying has drained a lot of energy from me. So if you will excuse me, I am going to go up to my room for a nap." I said while walking towards the stairs. All the explanation can wait till I am rested.

I turned around once I was at the top; all three of their dumbstruck gazes were on me.

"Behave." I said and turned towards my room.

I could literally hear their jaws drop.

**Phew! So how was it?**

**Happy that Rose and Em are back? What about Jake? The mini-showdown?**

**Vampires, werewolves and our own little panther. Things are going to get heated. Woohoo!**

**Love- amie**


	14. Chapter 13 Devious

Victoria POV

''Riley!" I thundered, I was starving. My meal should have arrived an hour ago.

Riley staggered to halt in front of me and then bowed. I may have let him fuck me while trying to keep up the charade of us being mates but apart from that, I was his the Southern war stories and learning about the infamous Maria, this sort of fear and respect amongst my servants is very pleasant.

None of my pets were even allowed to make eye contact with me. They feared me and I fiercely kept the fear alive. During my time with my james, this is the one thing I learned and engraved in my brain above all. Fear makes people do anything and everything you desire. You just have to find the right nerve and hold a tenuous grip over it. The more resistance you face the more pressure you apply.

"Mistress," he said and then bowed again, "the disappearances have caused a lot of uproar in Seattle. Humans hardly venture out alone, thus picking them up undetected is becoming a task. Plus, they have installed surveillance cameras aroundthe more populated areas."

I growled. Stupid media. All the news channels have been broadcasting about the mass disappearances in Seattle. The entire police force has been pooled in to solve the situation immediately.

I may have been reckless in the beginning but I was not going to repeat my earlier mistakes again. My army now fed at the shack itself. Stag and Riley were entrusted to pick up unsuspecting humans from different places. It may be far from Seattle but there was no way in hell I was allowing my newborns to wreck havoc anymore. Melissa followed my orders all too well. My army is on a very tight leash these days.

Most of the disappearances went unnoticed after I had restricted my army to the shack, now only a few were being reported. I guess it will be a while before this matter cools down though.

Fear of the Volturi being the driving power behind me not being reckless anymore. That fucking bitch may have been a pain in my ass. Her rendezvous with my James made me mad beyond reason. But that whore babbled non-stop. James preferred to shut her up easy, fucking her mouth more often than her. But she has been around for a long time, knows more about the 'rules', and I am not stupid enough to not pay heed. Thanks to her yappering, I know how not to put my ass on fire by attracting the Volturi's attention.

I thought back to the day it all started..

_Flashback…._

"_James" she purred._

"_Hey babe" my James replied._

_I growled but James glare effectively shut me up._

"_Oh Relax! Will you? I have not come here to steal your James from you. Although I wish I could. He is all man. You are so lucky. I just wish that my love would also take charge and claim me already" she continued to babble. I had to tune her out and look at my James._

"_Think about him while you're with me?" he asked._

"_Oh no. James never. Commanding as you are, I cannot veer my attention off you for even a second" she openely flirted._

"_Horny Bitch" I muttered._

"_Relax Vicky. Like I said, I am never going to take away your James from you. What we have" she motioned between her and James "is just 'fun'. Nothing more. Nothing less" tuned her out again._

"_Will you shut your mouth for one fucking second" I glowered at her._

_She spoke again but all I could hear was, "Blah..blah..blah blah blah"_

"_What made you seek me out?" my James asked finally._

"_I know this may be surprising. As you know I never try to trace you and all. You come to me. Oopsie." She looked at me, "Sorry Vickie. But frankly speaking you don't need to be jealous. I know James is not mine.."_

"_Will you fucking get to the point already" I growled._

"_I need a favor"_

_I smacked her across the face before she could get more out. I would have proceeded to rip her apart too but James pulled me off her._

"_VICTORIA" he thundered and then punched me in my stomach. I growled at him. He growled back and ripped my arm off, the pain and loss of venom immediately quieted me down, lest he rip off all of my limbs like last time._

"_Now sit there like an obedient bitch and let her finish. You cannot make any decisions for _my_ coven. If I wish to help he,r I will and there is nothing you can do but follow my orders. IS THAT CLEAR?"_

"_Yes Master" I responded meekly. He loved it when I called him that._

"_You were saying?" he went over to the bitch and snaked his arms around her waist, his thumb already under her blouse, drawing circles on her bare skin._

_I bowed my head. This was my punishment. I will have to suffer until he sees fit._

"_James" she moaned and twisted in his arms, "I know you love to play. I found a new game for you" she hummed._

"_Really?"_

"_Really. But I want you to play this game for me. Only me"_

"_Is it dangerous?" James eyes glinted with anticipation._

"_Very"_

_I knew she was riling my James up but there was nothing I could do._

"_Tell me already" he growled impatiently._

"_How about kidnapping a coven's human pet, torturing her to your hearts desire and then let me play with her for a bit before draining her"_

"_Sounds fun"_

"_Seven vampires. One human."_

…_End flashback…_

My poor James. This one game cost him his life. I had tried to make him back off but he didn't budge. My punishments for trying to interfere got worse and I finally relented.

I sighed.

I have to avenge my James. I have to. First the human and then the bitch.

My army can rot after I get my revenge.I don't care. I won't kill them, they'll get themselves killed. Something that amuses me to no end. Feral and crazed as they are, it shouldn't be a difficult task.

Ripping apart Riley will be a pleasure that I will reserve for myself. He has frustrated me to no end. All this talk about 'being mates' is getting old. At least he willbe content with being killed by the one he loves, but for now I need them though.

Stag did prove to be useful, after knowing about the break-up and the departure of theCullens, I was about stage the first culling ceremony for my army. But Stag made a fucking discovery.

The wolves.

I had thought that shapeshifters were just a myth or maybe extinct, but this was surprising. At least my effort into creating the army in the first place will not go to waste. The wolves may have complicated matters, but I will emerge as the winner in the end.

The scent of sweet mouthwatering blood and the sound of frantic heart beats pulled me out of my musings.

Stag struggled a bit with the two humans he was carrying on each shoulder. His shirt had a few holes. The humans had actually tried to shoot him. I laughed as I smelled the gun powder.

"Gutsy." I drawled at the two policeman. Stag lowered them to the ground as I got on all fours, crawling towards them. Hunting them.

Both of them looked to be somewhere around forty-five, I looked at the first one. Stag may have been a little ruff with him. His neck bore deep gauge marks that oozed blood. My tongue darted out to wet my lips. I shuddered.

Thirst for his blood marred my every thought. Before the human could register anything, I was on him, sucking his sweet blood. I hungrily gulped down each drop of blood he could offer. The hungered haze waned a bit; I was going to enjoy my second meal.

I looked at my prey and a maniacal smile formed on my face.

"Look who we have here**."** I said in a sing-song voice. His heart beat sped up.

I laughed.

I crawled a little closer to him and took a deep whiff. Much too similar, I mused.

"Would you like me to introduce myself, Chief?" I purred. His eyes widened and his pulse sped up but no outward signs to give away his fear. Not even a flinch.

I leaned forward and licked his cheek. The tiny cut on it gave me a preview of what I was going to enjoy. I purred and licked the cut clean of blood.

"Did you enjoy the little show, Chief? Why don't you try and guess what I am now that you see what I can do?" I purred into his ear.

Nothing.

Hard to crack. I laughed out loud.

"Or maybe you've heard about me from Bellaaaaa?" I stretched the last word. Finally earning me the response I needed.

He flinched and his breathing became erratic. A crazy glint must have appeared in my eyes. Got his nerve.

"You know if she did tell you, I'd have to kill her." I gently whispered in his ear.

He shuddered and then frantically started pleading**,** "No! No, she didn't tell me anything. I don't know y-o-u-u," he stuttered, "Please leave my daughter alone."

"Please leave my daughter alone." I mimicked and then laughed.

I gripped my hand around his neck, lifting him off the ground, "I won't kill her so easily. She will have to suffer first." I growled and threw him onto the ground.

He didn't fear for his own life, but the moment I bring his daughterin he's a blubbering mess. Pathetic humans.

"Did your precious little daughter tell you about how because of her my mate is dead? Did she tell you that my James had to chase her all the way to Phoenix? He just wanted to play with her." I said in an innocent tone.

"Bella..Phoenix.." he stuttered.

"Yes**.** Don't you remember? I was circling around your house then, waiting for an opportunity to get past the mother hen to lay my claws on you." That stupid bitch didn't leave him alone though. She ran a perimeter around his house day and night. Then the blonde bitch had joined her, making it impossible for me to fulfill my James' wish.

"You can kill me, but please leave Bella alone. She would never hurt anybody intentionally." He pleaded.

I shrugged.

"Would you like me to tell you more about how I am going to torture your daughter?" I purred. Just the thought of torturing her, avenging my James brought me great satisfaction.

"Please don't hurt my daughter. Leave her alone" he begged.

I rolled my eyes and sat down beside him. My hands softly traced his jaw line. He shuddered.

"I am all alone because of her. She took away my James from me" I said in a meek voice.

"Bella would never hurt anybody intentionally. I swear she cannot even harm a fly" he pleaded.

"Aww. But her mate can. Together with his family he ripped my james apart. Took my mate away from me" I fake-sighed.

"Mate?"

"Cullen's" I growled.

"Cullen's?" he trembled, "but they have left town. Bella told me that Edward broke up with her"

"Wonder why?" I murmured genuinely confused. My 'mate for an mate' revenge would work only if Edward was there to witness the death of his beloved mate. But he left her, unprotected.

Must be some kind of a trap. My james is no more because of _her_. And I was not going to let her father talk about shit and make me question my motives.

"She has to die" I growled.

"But she did your mate no harm. Edward may have but I can assure you that my Bella would never agree to killing another being"

"Being. Do you mean human?" I laughed, "You see that is where the problem arises. She couldn't have physically hurt my James even if she wanted to. He was not human. And neither am I" I smirked, "To tell you I am very disappointed in you chief. I thought that being a officer yourself, you would be a little sharp. Unfortunately, I do not have time to elaborate more. Shall we proceed" I said while gesturing towards his dead friend.

He shuddered.

"Please let her be" he prayed before closing his eyes.

"Like father, like daughter." I said as I pounced on him. My sharp teeth ripped easily through his soft flesh, blood gushed out of the bite and into my mouth.

I moaned. He struggled a bit. Feisty just like his daughter. Maybe I could imagine torturing Bella as I drained the life out of him. Pulling in deeps chugs of his blood, an awesome idea blurred through my brain.

'Drained by her own father' I smirked as I stared into his eyes.

Unknown POV

"Get her to me Laurent"

"Okay, but what do I tell Victoria. You know she is forming an army of newborns to kill the human don't you."

"She is stupid and is going to be killed by the Volturi sooner or later anyway." I lashed out. That fucking bitch. The two scars that marred my beautiful body were her 'gift'. She will pay for it. I know I planted the idea of a newborn army in her head but I knew she couldn't handle them.

The vampires had left, it was a moot point.

She was even more stupid than I thought**.** An army of vampires for a human? The idea itself was laughable.

"Gonna get killed." I chanted.

Maybe an anonymous tip-off to the Volturi will speed up the process. The vast disappearances are questionable as it is.

"Now go. Make me proud." I said and flicked him away.

Time to plan.


	15. Chapter 14 Black Sheep

**Surprise! Surprise!**

**Hardly two days since my last update and here I am with the next update. Yay!**

**This is a continuation of the Jasper POV I had posted earlier.**

**Beta'd by the super-awesome SecretEmpath and pre-read by the fantastic RebelGirl22.**

**Jasper POV ( Birthday incident night)**

Heaven.

I moaned as I sucked the sweet nectar. Frowning, I threw away the carcass when it had nothing left to offer.

Still feeling hungry, I started looking for more.

This wasn't coincidental. This was planned.

My eyes darted around, greedily looking for another source. When I couldn't locate one, my eyes fell on the unconscious woman on the ground, her heart rate slowing. She wasn't going to live. Without thinking I descended on her jugular, sinking my teeth in her pulse point, and lapping up her delicious blood.

Like I said, Heaven.

When her heart finally stopped, I pulled away. Letting her lifeless body fall limply to the ground, I started digging up two large holes in the clearing. Each on the opposite end, burying her alongside her would-be murderer was too harsh. It was the least I could do, I shrugged.

It took five minutes before they were both six feet under. I murmured a soft 'Rest in peace' after I buried her. No such gesture for the man though, he could rot in hell.

I left them both and darted out of the clearing. After a few minutes of running, I spotted a large tree. Scaling it up in no time, I crouched down on the highest branch. My hands were muddy and my clothes were disheveled. I even had blood smeared across my face, but I've never felt more alive in half a century of my existence than I do now.

Even when I was with Maria, I never felt so dead. Will to survive and the absence of an alternative pushed me to enjoy my each meal as if it were my last. All the killing and brutality did kill me inside, but I did exist. I existed but never lived.

Being with the Cullens I felt free but at the same time I've never felt more caged. I felt free and grateful. Not having death surrounding me, following me, made me feel liberated. Feeling free and caged at the same time. What an irony my life had become.

I was caged by their expectations, their lifestyle. Being answerable for my actions. Being answerable for everything I do. It does not help a person grow. It stunts it. And that's what happened with me. I was never able to just 'Let go'

Rather than answering every 'what?'; 'why?' and 'how?' I riveted back into myself. I had no outlet.

My struggle to acclimate to their diet went unappreciated. Hell, it was not even acknowledged. It was just frowned upon. Each slip brought a round of disappointment and disgust. After a while, they started to wait for me to slip. Alice and Edward hovered over me, like bees around nectar. It drove me insane.

My struggle continued. Every day I hoped that it would be the one day I would feel a little love, acceptance and respect from my family. Love was there. Acceptance to an extent. Fear yes. But never respect.

I rattled in the confines of my caged world, wanting to be free. Wanting to be alive.

It all changed after the human arrived in our lives. Observing her, feeling her undiluted emotions put me on a high. It was the first time I felt pure love, not just for the people around me but for me as well. It exhilarated, yet scared me.

Feeling the love that the human felt for me and my family was the highlight of the day. I waited for her to arrive almost as impatiently as Emmett. Her love was like a balm to my battered soul.

It freaked me out. I stayed away from her and emotionally detached myself. Figuring that if I referred to her as 'human', I wouldn't get attached to her. It was like a lost cause. Bearing the monotony of our became easier if I got to feel the love she openly exuded in our presence.

"Bella" I rolled her name on my tongue.

A surge of emotion trickled to life and passed through me.

I ducked my head and shook it wildly. Guess I am just thinking too much into nothing.

I rose and jumped down the tree, landing on all fours like a cat. I smiled and streaked through the forest, no specific location my mind. I just wanted the buzz that tingled on my skin to last a little while longer before I went back.

As I thought back to my victims, I realized that it wasn't the same anymore. This was not a slip, it was a meal.

Today I killed with no guilt, and no regret. I wasn't answerable to anyone but myself. Their disappointment wasn't going to bother me anymore. I was my own person.

Smirking, I raised my head towards the sky letting the drizzle wash all the muck away.

On my way back home, I set a leisurely pace. I made a quick stop to a nearby creek and thoroughly washed all the mud and blood off of me. I also made a decent attempt to clean my clothes. Satisfied, I continued on my journey.

There was not an ounce of remorse in my system. I have sacrificed too much for my fake family already and for the one who claims to be my mate. Enough with allthe lies.

Today I dish out the truth.

…..

A few hours later I was seated at the dining room table, our conference room, so to speak. Why bother with the charades?

Making a quick scan of the people around, I relaxed my posture a bit.

Alice and Edward were out hunting, while Rose and Em were seated directly in front of me. Carlisle was on the phone, making arrangements for the family to move to Denali. While Esme bustled in the kitchen, looking for an outlet for her overwhelming emotions. Sadly, there was no human to cook for.

I sat on my regular spot with my head held high.

Rose and Em were too involved in comforting each other to look into my eyes. Esme hadn't ventured out of the kitchen in the few minutes I was here and Carlisle was too engrossed with talking to Tanya.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the 'all-knowing-twins' to arrive. A smirk was already forming on my face. The anticipation of our showdown was slowly and gradually building.

"Jasper." Rose softly called. I opened my eyes slowly and faced her. She would never judge me; neither would Emmett for that matter.

I felt her shock and later her acceptance upon seeing the red that screamed what I had done after my departure. Emmett just shrugged; he wasn't bothered in the slightest by my choice. They both knew that this was not just a slip, this was intentional.

My resolve on my diet projected around me like a halo. The major was back. I might as well have taped a 'don't fuck with me' sign to my head.

"We are with you" she mouthed.

I smiled a genuine one. I threw my gratitude towards both her and Em.

"Just play along." Em mouthed, feeling nothing but glee and a bit of concern. My curiosity piqued but I stayed silent, positive that I would get my answers sooner or later.

The rest of the party had arrived.

Using his speed to his advantage, Edward had actually tried to blindside me. A common mistake. You can't just pounce on the major. The loud crash boomed across the house and no sooner I had a struggling Edward gripped securely in my arms

"Put me down. You tried to kill my _mate_!" He screamed, trying to focus the spotlight on me.

_Guess what Eddie? I am in no mood to play_. I thought before I closed my hand around his neck. My fingers dug in deep, driving my point home. His eyes widened. I didn't even need my gift to feel that he was afraid.

_It didn't look like it when you were ready to blindside me just a moment ago. Does the major seem like someone who would allow that? _I asked him.

No reply.

My fingers tightened. Venom now coated them. This was actually fun.

My monster purred in satisfaction.

"Sss..oo..rrr..y" his mouth frothed. What a beautiful sight.

"Jazzy. Let him down." my 'mate' ordered.

I tilted my head to look at her. My eyes must be pitch black. No emotion. Just detached sadism.

Just to emphasize that I don't react well to commands. I squeezed his neck even harder. His eyes bulged while his arms and legs flailed.

"Jasper, man, let him down." Em said, while Rose placed her arm on my shoulder.

I closed my eyes before releasing my grip. He fell down on the floor, gasping frantically for unneeded air while crawling backwards from me.

"I will not tolerate such behavior in my house." Carlisle said in a sharp tone while tending to Edward's injury. Apparently, saying goodbye to Tanya was more important than stepping in to save his son sooner.

I shrugged. Gauge marks on the neck were nothing compared to the torture I was used to.

_It's easy to judge but difficult to understand. You would have been fun to play with in the southern wars._ I mentally broadcasted.

This one sentence put the fear of god in the sanctimonious prick. It was about time.

"Jazzy." the elf whined, "Why would you hurt your brother like that? Wasn't what you did to his mate enough?" she ended in a sob. Ah! The guilt trip. I was waiting for her to use it. I felt great pleasure in kicking the imaginary ball of guilt she tried to throw at me, hoping it would smack her across the face.

"I want you to apologize to Edward right now." the doctor said.

I snorted. I actually did feel like the black sheep of this white collared family and I abso-fucking-lutely loved it.

The doctor and the elf moaned and bitched. I had tuned them out a long time ago. I looked at my brother and sister; they both looked as if they were constipated. Both were struggling to keep the nosy brat out of their heads. I sympathized with them. If you try too hard, you mess up.

I sent a wave of assurance towards them and the constipated look was replaced by cautiousness.

Esme stood near the kitchen, but she didn't seem to be looking at me. Instead, she stared incredulously at her husband.

Time to tune him in.

"…allowed him into our family in spite of his atrocious past. I cannot tolerate..."

Bored again. So I tuned him out.

I actually felt like flicking imaginary dirt off my nails and behaving like Rose, utterly disinterested. Her specialty was the 'bitch vibe', at least that's the way I put it'.

I was almost on the verge of pouting and stomping my foot to stop with the bitching already. Although this drama did spur me on, I felt like a super-villain of a film.

"Jazzy!" Alice screamed while she slapped me.

I laughed a full-blown laugh. Confusion swirled around the room, bursting from each family member. I took that moment to snake my hand around her throat and lift her off the ground. Her legs kicked while her hands struggled against my grip. Despite the fact that we don't need oxygen for survival, being choked is not a pleasant feeling.

I would never hit a woman, but that didn't mean I would let her run all over me. In fact I didn't even hurt her; I just lifted her off the ground. She was the one gasping and sobbing like I was trying to kill her. Drama Queen.

I wouldn't have bothered to react to her slap, but year's worth of anger, frustration, disappointment, disgust, and pity finally took its toll on me. She used me and degraded me in front of the whole family. It's high time I manned the fuck up.

I would never physically hurt her but this was like a message to everyone in the room. I wasn't the hurt kitten anymore; I was more like the caged lion who had just found an escape. Nothing would get in my way.

After ten seconds of her drama and the wide shocked looks plastered on the family's faces, I dropped her to the ground. She started panting, pulling in as much air into her lungs as possible.

"Jasper Hale-Cullen!" The doctor thundered.

I didn't bother to look at him. I blatantly ignored his command. He wanted me to face him with my eyes downcast while hanging onto his every word. The grand finale was me being looking berated with my head held down in shame as I apologized to his poor little babies.

I smirked.

"Jasper Hale-Cullen!" he tried again, more stern and with his chest puffed up.

I bit my cheek to stop myself from laughing out loud.

"JASPER!" he screamed, soundly almost like a girl. His voice went high-pitched. I couldn't help myself anymore. I fell down to the floor laughing, projecting humor. I had each member of the family rolling around the floor laughing. Carlisle looked mad but was unable to stop the loud guffaws coming out. That made me laugh even more. That was surprising. I was carefree and happy, outright joyful for the first time in my dead life.

I pulled in the humor slowly from the room. Emmett took a while; he was rolling around punching the floor with his fist in order to express his glee. I actually had to send some calm his way for him to be able to get off the floor.

If I were human I would have blushed.

I could feel three piercing glares being directed at me. The twins and their father were not too happy about the laughter that I had just spread.

"Emmett!" Esme chastised. Large dents, the size of Emmett's fist zigzagged across the hardwood floor. Just how much did he roll? I wondered incredulously.

"Jasper Hale!" Carlisle yelled. I noticed how he dropped the 'Cullen' from my name. I still wasn't satisfied.

I looked up at the ceiling while whistling softly. Carlisle's anger was building up. I patiently waited for it to burst. It's about fucking time he acted like a coven leader.

That still didn't give him permission to mess with the major. My monster was being childish and dramatic. It had been years since I had let him have free rein. My evil side was just trying to stretch the drama while irritating the crap out of my opponents.

"Jasper Cullen. I demand you to look at me right now. You have to face the consequences of your actions." he demanded. Why he feels the need to juggle between different surnames is beyond me.

I plastered a look of disinterest on my face and looked at Alice and Edward; they were huddled in a corner, oozing fear. I thrived on it like a crazed monster. Carlisle puffed out his chest again and approached me, still maintaining a two-foot distance between us.

"Son," he started, trying a different approach, "we will continue this family meeting in Denali. We have to leave in the next few hours. You have to start packing; you were already away for two days. Edward is going to break-up with Bella tomorrow. We will be leaving early morning, he will join us later." he said with a sad tone. The sadness was directed towards Edward. No remorse at all for the human he was leaving behind, the human who he assured was a part of his family. His daughter.

I was about to protest when Rose caught my eye and mouthed Em's earlier words, "Play along". She also sent some desperation my way, I relented. I could hold off my anger for a while. But I want answers soon. I sent some impatience her way, making her huff.

…**.Few hours later….**

Dawn was approaching. I was done with my packing. The boxes that Alice had packed for me were idly lying in our bedroom. I didn't bother to go through the stuff in those boxes. I was sure they were irrelevant to me.

All my stuff was packed and tucked in Em's jeep. My journals, my uniform and a few other heirlooms were all that constituted as my treasures. I knew Em and Rose would look after it.

I had just finished with my shower. The dip at the creek had helped a bit but the shower finally made me feel clean and relaxed. I dressed in my faded denim jeans and white plaid shirt and proudly put on my cowboy boots. I felt like human Jasper Whitlock just for a while.

Human memories of bathing horses in a barn, sipping hot tea while sitting on the porch, and singing while playing a guitar in the field buzzed in my brain.

"Jazzy." The pixie huddled around me. I felt like throwing a biscuit her way, just to calm her down a bit.

"Baby," she cooed, "I am going to take perfect care of you. Don't you worry." she said like an annoying teen chewing gum.

"Your mate is by your side." Her eyes twinkled as she looked up towards me. She turned around to leave but stopped midway and looked into my eyes, "I already forgave you for last night. I know you didn't mean to harm me." with that she turned away and left.

My jaw was practically on the floor. She forgave me?

Breathe in. Breathe out.

You promised Em and Rose. 'Like hell I did' my monster roared. I nodded to just play along and as far as I was concerned, it didn't involve prancing around with the pixie playing mates.

Rose and Em must have a reason. They must have a reason. They must, I chanted.

I climbed down the stairs, thankful when it was only Rose, Em and I in the living room.

"Care to explain." I started but couldn't complete my thought as Rose had my mouth stuffed with her scarf. I immediately spit it out.

"What the Fuck?" I roared.

"Will you fucking keep it down?" she whisper-yelled.

I glared at her but brought down my voice to a level where it would be indiscernible to even vampires outside of a two feet radius. I did actually feel stupid for all the yelling and drama. In fifty years of being together with the drama queen, I guess some of Alice's whiny traits did rub off on me.

I sent some remorse to them both. Em rolled his eyes while Rose just huffed. Classic.

"Care to explain why I have to wait to rip Eddie's limbs off?" I whisper growled causing Em to guffaw loudly.

"Dude you just sounded like a kitten. No, a cat in heat" he barely managed out the last word before he was on the floor.

I smiled. He looked at me in fear and backed away. I smiled even wider before sending him the feeling I picked up from the humans at school. The feeling where you want to pee very badly, legs crossed, face constricted, just on the verge of losing the last thread of control you can summon up.

Em's eyes widened before he crossed his legs and slightly bent forward.

Dude." he moaned. I smiled one more time before sending a buck load of lust his way. In less than a second he was dry humping Rose's leg. I didn't mean to postpone our conversation but we were as quite as a few Rhinos on a fucking high, stampeding their way across town. Alice already had her ear pressed on the living room door. How fucking stupid could she be, I could practically feel her anxiousness about what she was anticipating to hear.

"Emmett!" Rose roared while kicking him off her leg. I pulled in the lust and heartily laughed at Em's dumbstruck expression.

"How come you haven't ever done this shit before?" he was genuinely intrigued.

I rolled my eyes at him but I couldn't deny the fact that I was acting differently. I may have been extremely mad in the beginning but the anger I had in me seemed to have fizzled down a bit. It did surge at irregular intervals but I could never intentionally hurt any of the Cullen's. Hurting Edward was an altogether different aspect.

I couldn't hold a grudge against them for not trusting me or caring for me the way I wanted them to.

They took me in. They presented me with a way out, although they might have done it to keep Alice with them but regardless of the circumstances, they let me stay.

I just had to let it all go. And that is what I had done a while ago.

It was not about them not accepting me anymore. It was about me accepting myself and I had finally forgiven myself for all my past deeds.

'Bella' the name echoed in my head. Then entire process of forgiving myself started after my one interaction with her. A simple yet complicated taste of her emotions sent me in a spiral-dive of processing, adapting and accepting all that was 'me'.

"I just asked you a simple fucking question Princess. You can stop daydreaming now." Em said while snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"Jazzy, Baby, what's wrong? Are you hungry, sweetie?" Alice fluttered her eyelashes. Screw it. I can't tolerate her. Sorry. My sub-conscious just threw the epiphany I had in a waste basket while glowering at it.

"Seriously man. What the fuck is wrong with you?" Em looked at me concerned.

"Emmett. Language." Esme called out from somewhere in the house.

"Sorry." he half-heartedly muttered.

"Jazzy baby, do you want to go hunting?" Alice asked seductively. Her implication was plastered all over her face. She was sticking out her non-existent chest, to try to seduce me?

I involuntarily shuddered and almost yelled out, "No."

"No?"

"You seem to have recovered pretty quickly over abandoning your best friend." Rose sneered at Alice. Taking the focus off of me. I felt like kissing her.

Em shook his head and gently rubbed Rose's back.

"Why do you care? You hated her." Alice backfired.

"Unlike you I didn't pretend to love her and leave her without a fucking goodbye. Unlike Edward I didn't sing sonnets with her in a field, prancing around proclaiming my love for her. Unlike Carlisle I didn't call her my daughter and then not give a fuck about how it would affect her while my immature son is about to break her heart." Rose lashed out.

"Emmett is leaving her too." Alice scoffed.

"That's because I asked him too. He is doing it for me, his _wife_." By using the word 'wife', Rose practically just slapped Alice across her face without physically having to do it.

Alice recoiled and looked at me with venom-filled eyes, pleading for me to stand up for her and against my sister.

The one thing that Alice wants the most is marriage. When we got together, she waited and waited, threw hints my way, sang about her visions but I never proposed to her. That's the one thing I want to save for my true mate. But that didn't deter her; she prodded and moaned about not being married. The fact that Rose and Em renewed their vows every decade or so was unbearable for her. Add the fact that Rose has it all is almost too much for her to bear.

I turned my head away. I couldn't do anything for her; I know she's in the wrong.

"Jazzy." she whispered before she turned on her heel and ran out of the door.

Rosalie huffed and kicked imaginary dust off the floor. The mood in the house shifted.

"Jasper I'm sorry if that hurt you too." Rose said remorsefully.

I shook my head and after making sure that nobody else was in earshot, I replied, "It's alright. Alice and I are over."

"Really?" Em asked hopefully.

"Really?" Em asked hopefully.

Rose smacked him across his head; he muttered some lame apology before returning back to projecting happiness again.

"Are you alright?" she asked concerned.

"It was long overdue."

"Are tired of being her boy-toy?" Emmett waggled his eyebrows.

Smack! Smack!

"Ow. Rosie." he whined.

Smack!

"Now what was that for? I'm happy for him." he moaned and then in all seriousness continued, "You and I both know that she has used and lied to him for many years. It's finally good to see him man the fuck up and take a stand."

He shifted his gaze towards me and continued, "Seriously man. How you tolerated her for so many years is beyond me. I understand that you've had a difficult past, but you can't let people boss you around just to atone for your past sins. It's all in the past. You always let your past dictate your future. I am sick of it. You are a changed man. And I would rather you offer a virgin to the devil to pay for your sins than be treated like dirt just because you don't respect yourself enough." he ranted and then conceded, "You have to let the past go. You can't live in it forever."

I struggled to lift my jaw off the floor. That was the most caring speech that anyone has given me. Straight and to the point. No bullshitting around or even attempting to sugarcoat it.

Rose managed to veer her love struck gaze off her mate to look at me, "He's right. This isn't your purgatory, so stop punishing yourself for things that you can't change. You deserve better." She came forward and held my face in her hands, "You are my brother and you are a good man."

Venom filled my eyes. It was overwhelming.

"Enough with the sappy shit already." I moaned, trying to shift the attention off me. I turned my head and breathed in deeply to ease the knot that had tightened in my throat.

"Come here princess." Em motioned towards me with his arms wide open.

I punched him on the shoulder and growled at him lightly, then hugged him.

"Men." Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Women." Em retorted while flicking non-existent hair behind his shoulder.

He did _not _just do that. I thought.

He even went so far as to blow on his nails while putting one foot ahead of the other, then plastered a comical disinterested look on his face.

That was the last straw. I rolled around the floor, laughing my ass off while Rose chased after Emmett, as he took off like someone had lit his ass on fire.

**So we end on a light note. Like?**

**Explanation time…..**

**Jasper does not hate the Cullen's (expect Edward..lol) and neither does he Love them. More emotions and drama as the story unfolds.**

**But nothing is going to be very drastic in the story. I am not the biggest fan of the Cullen's but I am trying to go through the journey about how Jasper processes the entire situation. The start and the finish is easy but it is the process of reaching the end that is always clusterfucked.**

**You move forward and you backtrack.**

**This I what I am trying to portray.**

**So there ain't going to be any situation where Jasper, one day although disgruntled is a part of the family and the next day he rips off all of their limbs and all. Well, that was drastic and din't make any sense. Lol. But I hope you get my point.**

**Phew! I am going to stop now. Lol**

_**Important AN**_** - I am going to change the story name. I am considering 'Surface' OR 'Still waters run deep".**

**They both express one point- nothing is as it appears.**

**I may also have a tiny prologue ready *blushes and ducks***

**Leave me some love. Hehe**

**-amie**


	16. Chapter 15 Blonde Wreck

**Hello! Here's the next update. Sorry for the awfully long wait. But I had the most horrible, possibly the worst week of my life. Absolute clusterfuck. **

**This chapter was put together in less than a few hours and is currently not beta'd so I will pull it down and post the Beta'd one as soon as I can.**

**Pre-read by the superawesome RebelGirl22.**

**Jacob POV  
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"Think he has fleas?" Blondie muttered to Mr. Steroids before stepping back.

"I heard that" I huffed.

"Really? Cause I didn't see your ears flap"

"Listen Blondie, I'm trying to be fine with the fact that there are two bloodsuckers in Bella's house. If you so much as harm one hair on her head, I have an entire pack of wolves waiting. And let me tell you that they will be very happy to rip you two apart."

It was no point saying that the said pack didn't know that the leeches in question had returned nor the fact that Bella was more than capable of defending herself.

"That will make the treaty null and void. And let me tell _you_ that a few of my vampire friends are eager to taste werewolf blood. For experiment purposes so to say" Blondie said while flipping her hair.

"Peter?" Steroids guffawed. Blondie smiled and nodded.

"He along with my brother will be able to take on you hairy little puppies while my mate and I frolic in the woods" Steroids smirked.

Smack! Smack!

"Frolic? Really?" Blondie growled.

Smack!

"No _frolicking _tonight or for the next two weeks_" _she snarled and then sniffed angrily.

I laughed before I could stop myself.

"Don't wag your tail mutt" she hissed.

I bared my teeth.

Uncomfortable in the presence of leeches, I moved towards the kitchen and fixed myself a sandwich. I figured Bella wouldn't mind. Blondie and Steroids followed me to the kitchen. Don't they fucking get that I couldn't stand their putrid smell? It was sickeningly sweet. I would need an insulin shot soon, this sweet smell is sure going to make me diabetic.

I arched my eyebrow at the leeches, Blondie glared while Steroids was almost bouncing on his feet. Impatient much.

A fucking vampire on a high. It sure was a hoot.

"What are you panting over?" Blondie said irritably.

"Do you tiptoe by the medicine cabinet?" I asked barely controlling my laughter.

"What?"

"I asked, do you tiptoe by the medicine cabinet?" I asked in all seriousness.

She growled, while her mate shook with silent laughter. She turned to him and glared, "You want it to be two whole months before I let you off?" she asked with her eyebrow raised.

"No. No. Rosie" Steroids stumbled through his explanation, "I wasn't laughing at you. I swear baby"

I felt like bumping fists with this dude. So he did know blonde jokes.

"What?"

I couldn't control it any longer and start laughing. She growled at me and looked at her husband for explanation.

"Uh...Uh...It is just a stupid joke Rosie" he shrugged innocently and pouted.

"Fuck it. This mutt is only capable of coming up with lame jokes and I am not going to engage with him" she huffed and settled down on the bar stool.

Inhaling the vile leech smell while eating was not something I enjoyed and I _did_ make it known.

"Can't even eat in peace" I muttered under my breath knowing very well that they would be able to hear me.

Blondie nudged steroids in the stomach and glared in my direction. Steroids wiped the smile off his face and looked at me in all seriousness.

"Did something happen while we were away? Why is Bella so upset?" so that's why they followed me. To talk about Bella _behind_ her back.

The audacity. Like I would give away anything in Bella's absence. Fucked up leeches.

"Why would I tell you leech? Did you not abandon her? Left without so much as a fuck-off" I seethed. I may be somewhat cordial but that was because Bella considers them a part of her family. She had asked me to behave, but I was not making small talk or engaging in any kind of conversation that did not insult the vamps.

Minor insults and growls was all that 'behaving' entailed from my side. And that was not going to change.

"And you call yourself her brother" I growled.

He hung his head while his mate glared at me.

"We left for her safety. I made him. It was with the intention of coming back" she lashed while softly rubbing the leeches arm.

That did not make any fucking sense.

"You left, to come back? For her safety?" I howled, "You leeches are seriously fucked up in the head"

She growled.

Steroids put a hand on her shoulder and looked at me.

"I understand it sounds absurd but we are not going to explain ourselves to anybody but Bella", he squeezed Blondie's shoulder before continuing; "We just wanted to know if she is alright. She...um… had a breakdown not soon after we arrived. I am concerned"

"She finally let it out?" I shook my head in disbelief. Her grief over her nana's passing was just bottled up inside her. It scared me a little. With the Cullen's departure, Charlie not being around and her nana's passing, I thought she would go mad if she didn't let all the emotions free. Her being a shape shifter did not help the cause either.

If her emotions keep building up, they are sure to explode unexpectedly. And _that_ was bound to end ugly.-

Her secret was safe with me for now. I had not rattled it off to my pack. I owed it to my best friend.

I had managed to not phase while being surrounded by my pack brothers. My patrol shifts mostly collided with that of Jared's. And getting him off my tail was damn easy, all I had to do was mention 'Kim' and the fucker became oblivious to his surroundings. Insert gag.

I had even let him escape patrol all together to spend time with his imprint.

Sadly Bella had not explained anything significant to me. She did all the chores, sulked around and gave me some basic information on how she was dumped and then transformed. She did not talk about her nana. She did know I was a werewolf though, I had told her in hopes of getting more information in return. Coming out- so to say- was easy, a little prod in the right direction and she figured it out without me having to say it out loud.

Everything stayed on the same plane- no changes. I knew that she needed to heal. And so I gave her time.

And now these bloodsuckers turn up.

I don't understand why Bella would consider them family even after they abandoned her. She did not elaborate and I did not pry. I figured she would open up sooner or later.

"Listen Mutt. I don't want to know everything. It would just be better if we have a vague idea of what she is dealing with. If she is in trouble or if Ed... someone harmed her" Blondie said while clenching her fists.

"He left her alone in the woods, what more harm could he have done?" I lashed out exasperated.

Thank God Bella had enough sense to not follow him and to make it back home. When Bella had told me about the leeches, and let me tell you she only told me snippets of it, I had phased right there. Lucky for her we were in the backyard.

"Alone? In the woods?" Blondie's eyes went wide. She looked terrified at the very thought.

Steroids started pacing around, ranting nonsense. I could only manage to make out a few words here and there, other than that it was just hisses and growls,"…swear…rip…slowly...hurt…..physically…die…virgin"

That's the extent, and then even the minor decipherable words disappeared into a whole round of hisses and growls. I had to roll my eyes. So fucking dramatic. How does the word 'virgin' fit into a rant?

I rolled my eyes and got back stuffing my mouth.

**Emmett POV  
><strong>

That insensitive prick. He broke up with her in the fucking woods, in spite of knowing what a danger magnet my baby sis is. How fucking dare her take her into the woods in the first place. How fucking retarded could he be?

Isn't break up supposed to be a sensitive topic? It had to be in the house, where she was comfortable. Where he could make her sit and understand.

I bet he fucking didn't even give her the right reasons behind the break up.

Fucking ASSHOLE.

I am going to kill him.

I squeezed Rose's shoulder and took off into the forest. Someone better be prepared. I am going to take off my anger on you as soon as I lay my hands on you.

I will fucking kill him slowly. I will slowly rip him apart. Then do it over and over again before I gladly torch is ass. Fucker surely is going to die a virgin.

Edward, you fucking dick. I am going to fucking kill you.

I grinded the first tree in sight. Soon this area is going to become a meadow.

….One hour later…..

**Rosalie POV  
><strong>

The stupid mutt. He has been cracking blonde jokes nonstop for the past hour. I am on the last shred of control. Even Emmett is not here to restrain me, but I Swear to God –one more blonde joke and he is dead.

The stupid mutt had just opened his mouth to utter some lame joke again and I clawed my hands. Suddenly, two deep howls emerged from the east.

I was startled but the mutt immediately got up and streaked out of the house. Thank God for small miracles.

At first I as panicked that it may concern Emmett but I could still hear the faint booms of him venting his anger from the west. Opposite ends so I relaxed and walked out of the kitchen. The dog smell is sure designed to damage my olfactory senses permanently.

I opened up the windows and the door. As I stood on the porch inhaling the fresh mutt-free air, I heard Bella stirring a bit. She was not awake, must be having a dream.

I ignored it, when a few minutes later she moaned and sighed Jasper's name.

What the hell?

**Bella POV  
><strong>

_Sweet taste of apples and chocolate invaded my mouth. I moaned and ran my fingers through his beautiful blond hair as he drew soft circles with his thumb on my bare stomach._

_I finally settled my fingers at the nape of his neck and tugged his hair a little. He growled, sending a tingle of pleasure through my body.__ This was the most sensuous and passionate kiss I have ever experienced. I never wanted it to end._

_I moaned and arched my back, the sensations coursing through my body nothing short of pure bliss._

"Jasper" I moaned loudly before I shot up in bed. I was sorely disappointed that this was a dream.

I sighed.

A soft movement near the door brought my attention to the blonde that stood just outside my door with her mouth wide open.

**So? like?**


	17. Chapter 16Delusional

**Hiya! I am back with the next update. I want to thank all those who reviewed, fav'd or put this story on alert .XX**

**You guys made me so happy. I love you all. XX…Each review is such a high. I was tipsy all day..lol**

**Also, you guys must have noticed, I have changed the story name to 'Still Waters Run Deep'. I have posted a prologue for this story too. So please go back and read it. Let me know your thoughts on it.**

**Also, there is a huge AN at the bottom. It has an exciting news for you fanfiction readers.**

**This chapter was a part of my original write. It has a few changes and additions.**

**Beta'd by SecretEmpath and pre-read by RebelGirl22. You guys rock. XOXO  
><strong>

**EDWARD POV**

It's been two weeks since I left my angel. My love. My Bella.

She was the most loving and caring person in the world.

The idea of me not being with her was blasphemous, but I had to do it for her.

My innocent and sweet Bella. She is still too immature to understand the sacrifices she was willing to make, but with my long existence I did. With the power to read minds, human and vampire alike, I have always had the best interest and abundant knowledge of the people surrounding me.

And Isabella was at the very center.

I would never have allowed her pure soul to be damned to this vile existence. We vampires are soul-less and dangerous creatures. We take life just to survive. We are monsters

Although Carlisle had graciously taught us an alternative way to survive, an escape from killing innocent humans, we were still souless. We suffer from this un-quenchable need for blood. The warm elixir is the only thing we yearn. We thirst, that's all we do.

My angel would never have to face that. I have always wanted her to live her human life with me, age gracefully while I took care of her, and then peacefully pass into the afterlife.

Even when James bit her, I was ready to suck the venom out. I knew there was a possibility of it resulting in her death, but I love her too much. Death is much more acceptable to me than to damn her soul.

I had already made plans to go to the Volturi to seek my death. I may have forced their hand if the need arose. But then Bella survived, even though she was badly injured I knew she would overcome the pain and recover. _I_ was by her side.

She wanted to be changed but I would never allow that. Her beauty, innocence, and humanity needed to be cherished. She just didn't know what was right for her. But I was there, _her mate._ I always made the right decisions for her.

She was stubborn and adamant but I put up with it, because I only wanted what was best for her. I _know_ what's best for her.

If we had still been together, then being human and spending her life as one is what I would have made sure for Bella, we would have lived her human life together. I would have taken her away to Isle Esme, away from other humans so that we could live in peace. Just her and I.

I would have preserved her innocence and I am sure she would have sacrificed the physical aspect of our relationship for me. I would have ensured she ate, lived healthy, and stayed away from harm. And after she would have passed away I would have spent the rest of my existence in her memory. I am sure she would have wanted that.

I would have lived for her. All of this would have happened if it hadn't been for that vile monster Jasper.

That evil creature deserves to die; I don't know why Alice still loves him. All these years I think my family has only put up with him because Alice loves him. He didn't even bother to share his past when they first moved in with us. I picked it out from his mind and let my family know. I wanted to have a family meeting in order to decide whether he should be allowed to live with us or not, but Alice convinced me otherwise.

I adore Alice, she is my sister and in order to make sure she continued living with us, I had to put up with Jasper.

After I shared his story with my family, they took some time to think it over and eventually they accepted him. I still don't understand how they could ignore the atrocities he had committed. The innocent lives he had taken, the immortal lives he had given and eventually killed after they had fulfilled their purpose.

My family is forgiving and gullible. Esme is the doting mother, she thinks of all of us as her children. Carlisle is our family patriarch and the most compassionate soul, he saw the evil in Jasper and tried his best to help him overcome it. The chance to stay with our family was a perfect opportunity to redeem for the past mistakes and avoid future ones.

But the monster did not appreciate it, his addition to our family was followed with a round of slip ups. His red eyes disgusted me.

The only people not bothered by him in the slightest were Emmett and Rosalie. They blatantly ignored the evil that surrounded him and considered him a brother from the very beginning. Rose and Jasper thus essayed the role of twins during our future moves.

Rose is not very fond of me because I rejected any kind of romantic relationship with her. How could I when she was promiscuous enough to have been violated by so many men. It was her fault alone; she should not have enticed her fiancé and his friends by her beauty. She is also really vain, all she cares about is herself. The only person she cares about, beside herself, is Emmett.. She is also very un-lady like with her loud physical..umm...lovemaking with Emmett. I would never tolerate a lady like that.

My Bella however, is nothing like that; she is beautiful, pure and never utters an impolite word. She may be a little stubborn, but that can be changed.

I can't bear to think that _my_ Bella may give away her innocence to any man. The thought of anybody touching her, making love to her is abhorrent, but I had to make a decision. I knew that if I allowed Bella to mingle with my family anymore, when the time came, one of them would have changed her without _my_ consent. I am the only person to decide what happens to _my_ mate.

I couldn't fathom the idea of her being changed but Bella was persistent enough, so I waited for an opportunity to leave her. She needed to understand that I would not give in to her childish whim. I finally had the perfect opportunity on her 18th birthday party when Jasper lunged at me to protect Bella. Why that monster would want to protect anybody is beyond me? But that gave me the perfect opportunity to leave Bella. I just had a momentary lapse of control, but nobody needed to know that.

Jasper was the perfect scapegoat. Always has been.

I convinced my family that leaving would be the best option to ensure that Bella lived a normal human life. Esme opposed but with Alice backing me up and stressing that it was for her own good, her arguments died. Emmett didn't want to leave at all, but after Rose convinced him, he gave in. Esme wanted to see Bella one last time, but I couldn't allow that. Instead I made her write a letter to Bella and promised to deliver it. The letter, technically is with Bella, she just doesn't know it. It's buried under her floorboards with all our other memories and photos.

Carlisle supported me in my decision and understood my reasons. He knew that I was Bella's mate and all decisions regarding her would be made by me. He has always supported me. He understood that I by being able to read everybody's mind, I always knew better.

Rose never really cared about Bella and since she got Emmett out of my way, it was a piece of cake. Jasper didn't get a say in any of it, as Carlisle believed that he had tried to attack Bella. I am nothing if not convincing.

Alice supported my decision wholeheartedly, considering both our mates needed proper polishing to be able to stand by our sides. She had been training Jasper for the past fifty years, without much success might I add. He constantly complained about her trying to dress him up and wear something he didn't like. Alice mostly got her way in the end, either by making puppy eyes or pouting or if nothing worked then sex.

She thought that this whole fiasco would make him depend on her more, fearing that he might be thrown out of the family. Alice loves Jasper, but he needs to change some of his ways. All Alice has ever wanted was what's best for him but he continuously fought with her and did what _he _wanted. Poor Alice had to bear all his nonsense, but everything she does is for that undeserving monster.

After the birthday night, Jasper displayed his true colors, he attacked me and Alice. The evil sadism shined brightly in his eyes. His behavior and actions just cemented my earlier judgments about him.

Carlisle controlled his disgusting behavior and they all moved away to Alaska. I had already discussed my decision about breaking up with Bella and then taking a break from the family.

It's been a fortnight since I have been wandering around aimlessly. The beautiful picture of my mate constantly passing in front of my eyes.

But Bella needed to work on her stubbornness; she had to trust me explicitly to make the right decisions for her. Alice supported me in leaving Bella as she thought that when I return back to her, Bella would be so thankful to have me back that she would do anything I asked just in the hope that I would never leave her again. Alice would get to play Bella-Barbie to her un-beating heart's desire. So, she was in favor of leaving and once I had Alice on my side, everything else was a piece of cake.

I sighed and picked up the scarf the lay securely in my jacket. My Bella's scent did trigger the venomous burn in my throat but sniffing and rubbing it against my cheek brought me a semblance of peace.

I will wait for another year before I go back for my Isabella. I know she would leave her family behind for me. She would be willing to do anything for me. I can take her away to Isle Esme where we can spend the rest of her human life together. She would no longer pester me to change her in fear of me leaving. The plan has been working well.

I will come for you my love. Soon.

**So how much do you hate Edward? The delusional brat thinks that the world revolves around him.****  
><strong>**Let me know (:**

**IMP Authors Note-**

**I have an awesome news for you fanfiction fanatics! SecretEmpath(the super awesome Beta of Still Waters Run Deep) has created a game for the fanfiction meet up in Las Vegas coming June. **

**She wants to try the game out beforehand. So if any of you are interested please contact her. You could either PM her or follow her on her twitter account empathbynight. The game will probably be held in the Pasadena, CA area.**

**...**

**I have also changed the sequence of the chapters. So now Jasper POV is at the beginning. I wanted the events to follow a chronological order(somewhat..lol)**

**I have also named the chapters.. (My fav so far is Ass Wiggle-chp 7...lol)**

**...**

**Read the prologue(:**

**Oh and yeah Don't forget to Review (:**

**XOXO-amie**


	18. Chapter 17 loophole

**Olay! Here is the next update.**

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**Beta'd by SecretEmpath and pre-read by RebelGirl22**

_Previously-_

_"Men." Rosalie rolled her eyes._

_"Women." Em retorted while flicking non-existent hair behind his shoulder._

_He did __not __just do that. I thought._

_He even went so far as to blow on his nails while putting one foot ahead of the other, then plastered a comical disinterested look on his face._

_That was the last straw. I rolled around the floor, laughing my ass off while Rose chased after Emmett, as he took off like someone had lit his ass on fire._

**Jasper POV**

I barely managed to stop convulsing from the laughter that shook my body to see that Alice had returned. My laughter died immediately and I got up.

It didn't take her too long to get over the hurt I idly thought.

"So" she began.

I was not interested in her mind games anymore and decided to cut to the chase.

"I think it is time for us to end our relationship" I said bluntly.

"What?" she shrieked.

I took a step back, anticipating her to start thrashing around like a wild banshee any second. Her body language and expression gave the craziness away.

Disbelief.

Anger.

Betrayal.

Guilt.

Despair.

The emotional cocktail was giving me a headache.

"We both know that we are not mates." I carefully proceeded. Cautious, so as to not set her off.

"I AM YOUR MATE. YOU CANNOT END THIS. I HAVE SEEN IT." she screamed before lowering her tone a bit, "Don't make hasty decisions. I know the whole Bella incident has upset you. But don't. Just don't" she pleaded.

"It has got nothing to do with the human" I growled. How could she not understand. We have been falling apart for a long time.

"I love you. And I know you love me" she whispered.

"Alice, I don't want to hurt your feelings. But I don't love you anymore." There's no point in telling her that I questioned if I ever did. "We cannot work. Our true mates are out there. It's time we ended our arrangement."

"ARRANGEMENT? ARRANGEMENT?" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Was that all I ever was to you. An arrangement. An easy fuck" she slapped me.

I kept my cool and did not respond.

"ANSWER ME" she yelled.

"I adored you. You were my everything. You saved me, gave me a new life. A family. Ofcourse I care for you." Her eyes glistened and I felt her hope. "but I do not love you"

"Then who do you love? Do you love that human whore? Is that why you lunged after her" she sneered.

I recoiled.

"WHAT?" I growled.

"Nothing. I am just hurt. Everything is falling apart. First I lose my best friend and then my mate says he doesn't love me anymore" she backtracked immediately.

I didn't trust her one bit. She was saying one thing but her emotions were pointing in a completely different direction. I would have used my gift to get her to spit it all out but Carlisle had just walked through the door, shamelessly observing us both.

I turned my head and growled at him.

"Son," he said in a stern voice, "I have ignored your mistakes in the past, but I will not tolerate your childish behavior anymore. How can you break my daughters heart like this? Especially after all that she has done for you. After everything this family has done for you." He shook his head, "I am disappointed in you today."

My anger was bubbling like hot lava. Just waiting to burst. The topaz of my eyes was slowly disappearing. And the black that marred my eyes screamed danger and I guess Alice recognized the trouble the doc was in.

"Jazzy. Calm down. You know we all love you. You are my mate. My future husband. I have seen it. And you know how the saying goes. You don't bet against Alice." She tried to lighten the mood.

Her arms slowly snaked around my waist and she lay her head on my chest.

It was no point arguing. The whole family is fucking delusional. Thick skulled retards.

I pushed Alice away and brushed past Carlisle to head to the garage. I geared up my Ducati as Rose and Em ventured into the garage.

"We will see you in Denali." Em said and then mouthed, 'Thank you'

I rolled my eyes and sped away.

He owes me a lot more than a 'Thank you'. Keeping my cool and not blasting the doc took a hell-of-a-lot of restraint.

I shook my head and focused on enjoying my bike ride.

I will be getting my answers soon.

…**.Two days later….**

I had just reached our Denali home when a white blur burst through the door and clung to me. I pushed her off me.

"Jazzy" she pouted.

_Really?_

"What do you want?" I sighed exasperated.

Wrong question.

"You" was her answer as she pouted her lips.

I shuddered and took a step back. A comical hurt expression flickered on her face. What can I say, her lips were still stuck in an unflattering pout.

"Jazzy" her lips trembled.

I gulped. I did not want to be very mean to her. She did try to help, even if she was selfish and a bitch, she tried.

"Look Alice, let's take some time apart. You may never know, we might just end up back together." It pained me to say this, to give her any hope at all but I needed to brush her off my tail for the moment. I tried being nice, I had tried being mean, hell I tried everything but she still doesn't get it. Maybe this is the only way.

Her eyes glazed over. I braced myself and focused on the thoughts of how I would wander around for a while and then come back. The decision, however frail, was made.

A humungous smile appeared on her face as she looked at me, I felt her greed and desire.

"Maybe we can make it official then?"

Then I felt love. It surrounded me, but by the tone of her emotions it wasn't directed towards me. I didn't understand what she was saying until she flicked her ring finger and traced it with her other hand.

It was at the prospect of the diamond she thought would adorn her finger soon. Her behavior sickened me. I wasn't going to entertain her any further.

I brushed past her and went into the house. Em and Rose were waiting near the doorstep.

"Come for a hunt." Rose said.

I didn't even need to answer, the three of us blurred deep into the Denali wilderness. Hunting was just an excuse, and my current diet meant me going deeper into the seedy town areas to have my fill.

Rose and Em hunted while I patiently sat down on a huge rock overlooking a beautiful frozen lake. I closed my eyes, the faint snow that was falling made everything look even more beautiful.

I wondered how deep Bella's blush would look in this weather. It took me sometime but I had stopped fluctuating between human and Isabella. Bella is how she liked it, then Bella is what I would refer to her as.

Half an hour passed by as I sat there, trying not to think, just admiring the beauty that graced my eyes. But no matter how hard I tried, my mind drifted to the image of the brown eyed beauty. I shook my head time and again. Thoughts of her though, did not dispel.

I felt a slight burn in my chest. It was very mild and not painful but it was disorienting.

I softly rubbed my chest, the burn was like a tiny flame, it warmed me but also made me feel a kind of loss that I didn't realize. I felt like I missed something but I did not really know what. Shitty feeling, I say.

"Whatcha thinking about princess?" Emmett asked.

I shoved him off the rock. My crazy mental rumblings had left me handicapped, I didn't even notice when Em and Rose had returned.

"Is something wrong?"Rose asked genuinely concerned. She not so subtly eyed the hand on my chest.

Her brow furrowed.

"Alice?" she questioned.

I shook my head, not sensing the deeper meaning behind her question. But upon hearing my answer, she went quiet and her emotions were extremely jumbled.

This was not important. I shrugged and looked at Em, "Explain?" I only had to ask one word.

"Rose" he looked at his wife.

She rolled her eyes and settled down on his lap, "What do you want to know first?"

I huffed, "I want to know everything"

She breathed in before slowly exhaling and then started, "No questions. And no interruptions"

I mutely nodded my head.

"Emmett is biologically related to Bella"

I fell off my rock. "WHAT?" I spluttered.

"Let me finish" she glared.

"Em had asked Jenks to track down any of his living descendants. Long story short, Em's sister Melissa had a daughter named Kayla that had a daughter named Renee and as you know Renee is Bella's mom"

Really? Rose has a knack for boiling down the craziest information to plain.

Really? Rose has a knack for boiling down the craziest information to a simple statement.

I huffed at her and glared, "And you guys are telling me this now, because...?"

"Well I didn't know either. He just got the envelope a few days back. He told me on the night of her birthday."

"Okay…"

It took about half an hour to get past the crazy explanation for me to accept that she did make sense. Edward could not be trusted around Bella. I did feel love from him towards Bella but it was always accompanied by thirst, possession and control, at least in equal amounts if not more. His off the chart emotions did not pinpoint to any particular danger to Bella but they surely were unstable.

From the time he came or was rather changed, it was not uncommon for women to be treated as if they were below men. I guess he was never taught the fact that each and every woman was to be respected. He felt a deep sense of revulsion when Em and Rose were together.

I never looked too deep into it all before, I had my own problems to deal with. But Edward spelled egotistic and anti-feminist to the extreme. His mind reading being beneficial enough for him to back track as soon as he realized that he had crossed a line, but he was never apologetic.

What a clusterfuck.

I'm not going to involve myself deeper into the Cullen family business. I need time to myself.

"We are reverting back to McCarty. We will be here few days before permanently separating from the family. Just waiting for Eddie boy to leave for his pity party, you know how he is. He'll go away, sulk like a bitch and maybe come back in a few months for a visit. We don't need to tip him off and prolong his stay by leaving soon. The witchy twins get suspicious easy." Em hollered the last part.

"How did you manage to keep Alice out?" I questioned.

"Well she's busy discussing the upcoming fashion week with Kate. It helps that we're not making any concrete decisions as for now. We keep dancing between off to a honeymoon or a visit to Em's native? or long hunting trip. She is bound to get confused." Rose said looking unsure, "Works? Right?"

I laughed an rolled my eyes, "That will work for now, but she is bound to see something soon" they both panicked no sooner the words had left my mouth.

I sent some calm to them and continued, "My crazy siblings, I am going to share my teeny tiny secret with y'all" Rose glared at me while Em pouted.

"You knew but still did not tell us sooner"

"You guys never really had anything much to hide and fluctuating between decisions works fine. She didn't know about your deal with Jenks. Right?"

"Continue" Rose leaned in closer.

"Well the trick is…." I drawled.

"Oh come on, will you?" Rose hissed.

"Stop torturing us" Em whined.

"Alright don't get too worked up", I rolled my eyes at their antics, "Well you see, it is really simple.."

"Urgh"

"Shut up" I growled, "let me fucking finish. So where was I?" I looked at their faces, they were murderous. "all you have to do is think about the decisions you want to hide in a third person point of view. It's really simple and you should feel very stupid about not thinking this earlier" I hurried through.

"What?" Em frowned.

"Oh! It does make sense. It will be the decisions for Rosalie that I would be making not for myself. For her, the visions are from our perspective and so if I make them from a different perspective, it will be difficult to catch because I am not making them for myself"

"What?" Em hollered panicked and then shook Rose. "Baby you are not making any sense?"

"EMMETT! You are ruining my hair" she growled.

He let go but looked at both of us cautiously. Rose looked deranged with excitement whereas I was lying down lazily with my hands folded behind my head.

"Jasper" Em looked at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Em," I started so that he could turn his head in my direction rather than looking at his mate in worry. He looked at me and I continued, "Emmett. Alice's gift is not perfect. Every gift has a flaw. Not so much a flaw, as it is a loophole. There are ways to get around gifts, you just have to find out how." I thought that explaining the basics to him would be good as I know that Carlisle never bothered to explain the nitty-gritty of vampire functioning.

"We are different from humans. Much stronger, sharper and faster, we can easily overpower them. But even in our world there are vampires that have special gifts which give them an upper hand. It may not be fair, because when it comes to a fight between vampires, the ones with gifts- offensive ones especially- will definitely have the upper hand"

"Dude. I am not a child. I know this" he rolled his eyes but I could sense the intrigue he was feeling.

It was like some kind of storytelling for him.

"I know but still I thought I would get all the facts out"

He huffed.

"So…The gifts that the vampires possess do give them an upper hand but they do not always ensure a win. Because most, in fact all of the gifts are not flawless. They have their limits. Mine for example is distance and willpower. The more you resist, the more the intensity will reduce. You may also be able to completely thwart the fractured emotions I send your way. Charlotte is the supreme example of it. Peter not so much, in spite of spending so many years in the wars with me"

I smiled at the thought of the two of them. I missed them.

"Oh. Like Edward can't peep into the deeper thoughts, he can just read what is happening in our mind at the moment" cried Em while jumping up and down on his feet.

I laughed. He seriously is a kid.

He abruptly stopped jumping and then looked at me, "What about witchy Alec and Jane twins gift?" he asked like I was taking a class and dishing out the secret of resisting all gifts.

"Alec's gift is slow, it is like mist from what I have heard that seeps towards you and renders you immobile. But he also needs a great deal of concentration; whenever the Volturi would send regiments to destroy an army, Alec would always have two guard members protecting him so that no one would sneak up behind him and kill him. He is truly unaware of his surroundings while using his gift. Whereas Jane's gift is already limited, she can only affect one person at a time and that involves all her attention too. A moments distraction and the person is free to scatter away. " Every body had heard about the Volturi twins. Even Maria was scared of them but me, not so much. With all that I had gathered from my allies, I could esily deduce the drawbacks their gifts posed to them.

"Whoa man "Em said while rubbing his hands together. "Tell me more"

"Emmett" I sighed exasperated, "I don't have all the answers. These are just observations.. The more you observe, the more you learn"

He pouted, "But hearing about this is awesome. How come you did not tell me about this before? We could have had classes where you could have taught me about tactics and strategy and 'Observation'" he made air quotes around the word.

"Emmett. I learned all this by myself. It is all imbibed and very difficult to explain and put into words"

"Buzz killer" he coughed.

"Back to Alice" I sighed, I was sure Em was going to pester me about this forever, "She, like a tracker grasps the tenure of a person's thoughts.."

"WHAT?" Em shrieked, "She can read minds?"

"No" I said fighting not to laugh at the look of horror on his face.

"Shut up. She can't" Rose growled. She was sour because Em had shrieked right into her ear.

He ignored her and looked at me scared.

"She cannot read minds" I blew out in one breath and sighed again, "She can see the future of the people she has met and" I continued before he could interrupt me again, "She can see danger of unknown vampires only if they are in any way connected to our lives. So if the Volturi ever decide to pop in for a visit, she will be able to see it because it affects us and not because they made the decision"

"What?" his eyes widened, "How?"

I growled. I did not have abundant knowledge on how gifts work. My knowledge was exhaustive and Em's questions were kinda tiresome.

"Emmett. I don't know it all. I just observe and deduce. It is not concrete"

"It works though, right?" he asked sounding shocked and impressed.

I blew out my breath in a puff and continued, "To simply put it, she can see the decisions I make", I put air quotes around the word 'I' to emphasize it, "and how it will all play out in the future. Its kind of a web. My decisions affect somebody or something which will in turn trigger something else. But when I am not making any decisions for myself, there is no reaction she can play off on. Are you getting it? Because, so help me.."

"Someone's coming" Rose warned before I could say anything more.

All of us turned around east and sure enough a minute later Tanya emerged through the trees.

"Din't you go to hunt?" Rose asked, eyeing her wet hair and clean clothes.

Emmett, meanwhile was blowing raspberries and looking at a tree. WTF?

"Um. Yeah. Just got a little messy so had to stop by the cabin we have a little further from here and clean up" she fidgeted and muttered something about Katie waiting for her and scampered away.

"You think she's seeing someone?" Em asked tearing his gaze away from the tree.

"Must be" Rose wondered, "her eyes did were a darker topaz. And why would she stop by the cabin to clean up and not her house" she looked the way Tanya had disappeared and then shrugged, "I don't want to get involved in the Succubus's love life. Bound to be complicated"

All three of us laughed and made our way back home. We knew Alice would be following us here soon. It had been an hour already.

"Emmett?" I called, "You know that you would die in a war, right?" I questioned.

He flexed his muscles and tried to look menacing.

"Brute strength" he growled.

"No brains" I retorted.

Rose snorted and looked away pointedly.

Em tackled me and both of us sparred all the way home.

**What do you think about Jaspers theories? And what do you think Tanya's upto?**

**IMP AN – **

**The next update might be while. I am juggling between three exams. They are due to get over mid nov. I will try to squeeze in an update somewhere in between, but I cannot be sure.**

**So it might be a while for the next update.**

**Also, good news is that our Jasper and Bella will be meeting soon. I am trying for the chapter after next. Fingers crossed.**

**Send me your reviews. Love to hear from you. XOXO**

**amie**


	19. Chapter 18

***Hands in the air, waving a white flag while cowering behind the desk***

**I know it's been too long. Way too long. But as a peace offering, I offer you this teeny tiny chapter that I just put together. It is not yet Beta'd. But I am trying my best to work harder and dish out a new chapter every few days, like before.**

**You'd ask what happened. I say RL. Just a little more busy than usual.**

**But we are moving forward. We fast-track to the Bella- Jasper angle in the next chapter. It will all clear up I promise.**

**All I ask for is your patience. Pretty please.**

**This chapter is tiny but it follows Rosalie's reaction to the dream. I hope I did justice to it. Let me know.**

**Rosalie POV**

I stood outside Bella's bedroom with my jaw on the floor and Bella's mortified gaze on me. What can I say? I was equally, if not more mortified. Hearing Bella dreaming about Jasper in an erotic manner would have made my cheeks flame had I been human.

I wanted to mend my relationship with Bella. But I sure as hell did not want to start like this. What a bummer!

"Um..I'm sorry?" I muttered embarrassedly, all the while looking at the floor. Handling such a situation was so not my forte. Emmett would surely have cracked jokes and embarrassed Bella to death but I was feeling a little awkward. My current equation with Bella could be described as anything but warm. Gulp!

Bella's cheeks flamed. She looked like she wanted the bed to open up and swallow her.

I actually felt like laughing at her Bella-ish traits. I wish she'd grow a backbone finally and stop being embarrassed at things she has no control over. It was just a dream, questionable one at that but just a dream.

Then, in a completely un-Bellaish move she lifted her chin up, looked me in the eyes and despite the mortification swimming around spoke in a steady voice, "It's alright. I know you didn't mean to wake me. Is there anything you wanted?"

Say what?

My eyes widened. I felt like whooping with a fist in the air like my Emmett. I smiled and entered the room, mentally chanting 'Grown a backbone finally'. Maybe she won't notice my little jig dance, I decided to not follow through though. Poor girl would surely feel lost then.

Figuring it was my turn to speak, I tried to explain, "I am sorry, I really didn't mean to wake you. When you were dreaming, I was just surprised and came to see if maybe you were having a nightmare." Which clearly was not the case. I mentally added. I was twirling my toe around her carpeted floor, contemplating whether I should elaborate anymore.

She tried to get up from the bed but between all that had happened, she got tangled up between the sheets, "Fuck" she cursed before twisting and just avoiding falling face first.

My My! Good reflexes _and_ bad mouth. I was dumbstruck. But what can I say? 'Me like' suffices just fine.

She shook her head, dislodging the tangles covering her face and plopped down on the sheets. Something was off though. She looked different. Between all the shit that went down, I really did not pay attention to _her_. But her cheeks were more slender, her body more toned. Her complexion too was less pale. She did not look cute anymore, she was hot. Maybe Edward leaving her was not so bad.

I smiled at her which she returned.

"I am sorry Bella for treating you the way I did" I started, figuring now was a good time as any. She opened her mouth but I held up my hand, indicating she let me finish, "I have to say this. Apologizing in a letter is not my style" I smiled. She smirked and let me continue.

"I am not going to repeat everything I wrote but I want you to know that I do not dislike you. Emmett already sees a sister in you and given a chance, I would like to know you as my sister too."

"You only had my best interest at heart" she murmured after a while. I exhaled, not realizing that I was actually holding my breath.

Hesitantly, I stepped forward and hugged her, "Thanks Bella. That's a weight lifted off my chest."

Maybe, just maybe we may not have to tiptoe around each other because of what happened in the past. I knew enough about her that she did not hold grudges and I was extremely thankful. Sure she did get hurt in the process but she was already fairing much better than where we had left her. She seemed to have..grown up.

She smiled at me and nodded her head, contemplating something.

"Why did you leave in the first place?" she finally asked.

I thought I'd give her the cliff notes version until Emmett had a chance to sit down and be a part of this talk, "Emmett wanted to rip Eddie a new one when he asked the family to pack and move, but I asked him to leave." I whispered the last part, "You see Bella, Edward would never have left if any of us decided to stay behind. Either he would have continued being in a relationship with you and ruined your life or he would have given in to his bloodlust and ended your life. Neither was acceptable by me" she looked at me and I hurried to explain, "I was not making any decisions for you Bella. You don't know Edward that well, but if something does not go his way, it gets ugly. He could have..No he _would_ have ended up hurting you. And I am not talking mentally"

Her hands were folded in her lap as she spoke, "I don't blame you. Edward leaving was the best thing that could ever happen to me. It feels like I had schizophrenia" she laughed, "I seriously don't recognize the old me anymore. Frankly speaking, it even revolts me a bit" she confessed.

"You are a kind soul. You were just a big pushover" I giggled.

She stuck her tongue out.

"Where is Emmett?" she asked.

"Venting his anger on wood", I just heard what I'd said a moment later and clarified, "Sorry that came out wrong. He is uprooting trees and causing violence in the poor 'ol forest to express his masochistic anger"

She looked at me questioningly; it looked like she was bursting to say, 'What the Hell'

Jump into the boat Bella. That's just what I'd wanted to scream when I heard you moan Jasper's name.

Hmm! Bella and Jasper…I wonder..

**Uh..okay put away the guns. I promise the next chapter will be way too long.**

**I just had to give ya'll something. And a tiny little review would not hurt, I will also try and send a sneaky little preview to the next chapter.**

**So go ahead! You know you want to..**

**XOXO- amie**


	20. Chapter 19

**I skip in between different time frames so that I can present you lovely readers the moment you'll have most awaited...tadah**

**Beta'd by SecretEmpath.**

**...Three weeks later...**

**Jasper POV**

"Ugh! That's it. I can't take this moping anymore. Snap the fuck out of it." Peter screamed before scaling up the tree and climbing on the branch adjacent to mine before continuing, "What's your problem? What the fuck has crawled up your ass and now maintains a permanent fucking residence in there?" he asked hotly.

"I am not moping." I growled out.

"Sure you're not." He snapped.

"I don't mope. That's Edwards's job." I disputed adamantly.

"That is fucking it. I have had it up to here." he emphasized by pointing towards the crown of his head.

Fucking Drama Queen. I just rolled my eyes. Peter apparent penchant for dramatics will never cease I thought.

Exhaling dramatically, he barked, "Get. Out."

"What?"

"Get. Out." He repeated and then breathed in deeply before sighing. "Go!" He growled, while he tried to push me off.

Now this spiked my anger. I opened my mouth to retort, but quickly shut it, glaring at him in obvious effort to not lash out. I know that I had sulked around long enough, although I wish to stress the fact that I was NOT moping. 'The God of war' does not fucking mope.

I was merely on a path of self-evaluation as I'd like to call it.

However, I did agree with Peter that I needed to get the fuck out. It's been three weeks since I last hunted. Three weeks up in a tree, literally, is not healthy. It effectively throws out any semblance of sanity out the imaginary window.

Peter huffed, crossing his arms while rolling his eyes. "Just go and suck on some juicy criminal."

Was that supposed to make me feel better? Or was this his idea of a pep talk?

I snorted, our minor dispute already forgotten.

He was right though. It did seem a little difficult to draw me out of my funk these days, as Peter so eloquently put it. Yes, hunting should do me some good. It's been three whole weeks since I left the fucked up family in Alaska. God knows, I couldn't put up with Alice jumping out of everywhere and throwing herself at me. The elf did not understand the meaning of 'Fuck NO' or 'Not fucking interested'. Stupid bitch.

My emotions too have been a rollercoaster since I left Forks. Maybe I left something behind, maybe I didn't. Although this irksome feeling does not go away.

I feel like I am just about to discover the answer- to what? That I do not know- and then boom, it's all a clusterfuck again. This stupid nagging feeling is what's residing up my ass**. **_Damn Peter_**.**

"Ugh!" I huffed before roughly rubbing my hands over my face. I sighed and got up. Dusting off my jeans and without a backward glance I zoomed out in the wilderness.

Time to hunt. Crazy maniacs beware.

…**.Two months later….**

**Jasper POV**

"Princess!" The bastard screamed into the phone.

"What the fuck do you want, Emmett?" I drawled. Stupid git decided to stick with the irritating-grates-on-my-nerves nickname.

"You have to go see belly-boo?"

"Who?"

"Bella of course, silly."

"What sappy movies has Rose been making you watch lately, Em?" I sighed. How on earth can he watch those chick flicks with his wife and why the fuck does he think that it's alright or even sensible to talk in such a…way? Wait a second and back the fuck up!

"WHAT? Bella?"

"Duh!"

..

..

Bella. Victoria. Werewolves. No Forks. Changed. Need to visit. See. Apologize.

My mind was stuck on this broken record since the past twenty minutes. All of it was too much to take in and I could fucking swear on my sparkly ass that Emmett had not even told me half of it. Stupid fucker.

But Bella, Edward's Bella, tripping-on-thin-air-bella witnessed a newborn war. How the fuck did she survive?

And why the fuck did I not know about this war up until now?

It took me another half-hour to decide whether I needed to track down Emmett first and behead him for withholding so much information from me or to go see Bella and get some answers from her.

Decisions. Decisions.

**Bella POV**

I huffed and blew a few errant strands of hair out of my face as I heard Leah scream, "PAUL! You fucking idiot! How dare you put dye in my shampoo. I will fucking kill you and then string you by your balls upside down a tree you fucking bastard"

I groaned. Not again!

Leah thundered around the house, screaming her head off, but Paul was nowhere to be seen. I guess he must have made a run for it. I actually did fear for his life. The sight of Leah in pink hair was not very pretty.

I laughed and looked at Victoria as she raised her eyebrow and smirked.

"You know she might actually kill Paul this time." I said.

"No, last time was worst. He'll survive." she casually brushed it off.

My mouth must have formed a 'O'. Last time was definitely worst. Paul had done the most unforgivable thing in Leah's books. They had both gotten trashed, Paul not as much as Leah. He took advantage of it and took her to a tattoo parlor. Leah still has the faded 'Suck It' tattooed just above her left breast, near her heart. The 'Suck it' has two little fangs tags around it. Victoria had often complained that Leah's bodily harm to 'little' Paul had resulted in her love life never being the same again.

Fucking drama queens. Having to deal with them on a daily basis sure is a task.

"I'll get back to cooking." she said before heading off to the kitchen.

I sighed. These three months were such a rollercoaster that now; I am totally enjoying my time at home, typing away at my story while sipping coffee. Ahh! The pleasure.

After all the shit that went down, boring equals peace for me.

I quickly stole a glance at the kitchen; Victoria was humming 'Love Story' by Taylor swift in a not so subtle voice. I smiled and shook my head thinking back on a wistful fantasy that I harboured a mere three weeks ago, it ended with me beheading Victoria. Oh! How the dynamics have changed...

…_.Flashback…._

_"Rose." I called, softly._

_"Yeah." she managed to tear her eyes away from the bed and look at me._

_My vision was hazy, clouded with tears and yet I didn't let a single one escape. I couldn't bear to let loose the scream that had lodged up in my throat. Somehow, crying would make it seem all the more real. My frail mind just couldn't afford it at the moment, especially not after this._

_"Take care of him." I whispered. I didn't need to elaborate. She understood._

_The slight nod of her head was all the answer I got before a shrill wail dragged her focus back to the bed._

_Now, the occupant on the bed I studiously ignored. One look and I knew I would fall apart._

_Turning away from the bed, I made towards the door but not before an ice-cold hand grabbed mine. I knew whose it was and forcefully shrugged it off. It was her fault, after all. My rage and hatred towards her had not subsided, not in the least. I may have accepted her, but in no way did I forgive her. I don't think I ever could._

_I jerked towards the door and glared ahead. I couldn't stand to look at her. I knew that if I did I would gladly rip her throat out.__ I barely managed to take two steps before my hand was enveloped again, this time in warm ones. I sighed. I could not blame him, he had no control over it but a small part of me still wanted to hold him responsible; paint him as the obstacle between me and my target. My revenge._

_"Bella." he whispered._

_"Don't." I choked. I didn't want to deal with him now. My brain was on overload as is, not to mention that I was physically and emotionally drained._

_"__I'm __sorry." he sighed._

_"Not your fault." I begrudgingly choked out. Oh how I wish I could scream in his face, blame him for robbing me of my revenge. But even in my battered state I knew I would have hesitated before killing her._

_It didn't matter now __anyway__. The opportunity was no longer available and a small part of me was actually relieved __at __surpassing that level of brutality._

_He was not at fault. But that didn't mean I would forgive her anytime soon. __Possibly never._

_"Sorry." He choked out, which made me turn. The sight before me made me freeze. Never before, never ever had I seen Paul in such a vulnerable state and my heart broke a little. His eyes were clouded and one lone tear tore away. I closed my eyes and softly rubbed the wet trail on his cheek before cupping it and drawing soothing circles with my thumb._

_My best friend needed some comfort and I was going to give it to him. He shut his eyes and when he opened them, I could see and feel the loss that was tearing at his heart. How I wish that I had returned a small degree of his romantic feelings towards me. A few kisses were shared between us, they probably meant more to him than me. The kisses didn't bother me much but even an inkling of emotion had me running the opposite direction. I had hurt my friend and now, I would never know where it would have led us if I had given it a try._

_But I couldn't, not after today. The fear alone of me having given in to his romantic demands, made my heart clench. Had that happened, I would have been heartbroken again. I would not have been able to take it. No matter what, I was glad that I had rebuffed his attempts._

_But a small part of me was sad and mourning._

_He was feeling the same, bound to someone without his consent. His mortal enemy. The one that wanted me dead. Oh, how my heart goes to him._

_I stepped forward and enveloped him in my arms; his arms snaked around my waist and crushed me to him. A soft sob escaped my lips, but that was it, no more emotions would slip from me. I took in his musky scent, savouring this contact between us. A goodbye of sorts._

_"I have to go make arrangements." I said, willing myself to let my arms drop. My throat seemed to have fallen down to my stomach and breathing was becoming difficult. It was all catching up to me. Although I couldn't allow myself the liberty of my friend's comfort. I needed to be by myself for a bit to regroup._

_"See you." I barely managed, willing myself to offer him a timid smile which came out as a grimace. With that, I turned on my heel and exited the room with three things on my mind._

_One. It was official. Victoria had screwed my life._

_Two. My best bud Paul had imprinted on her._

_And three. My father had just tried to kill me._

My phone shrieked at the very right moment, snapping me out of my musings. Looking at the caller ID I flipped it open and heard a shrill scream, "Bellsy!"

"Emmy poo!" I cried. Just hearing his boisterous voice snapped me out of the melancholy that I seemed to have dived head first in.

Em and I were truly brother and sister now, by blood as well. At first I was shocked to know that Em was my great-grand uncle. It was too complicated, and crazy to even think about. But he was my brother before and that ain't changed now.

"OW. OW. OW….Rosie!" he yelped as I snorted. My poor brother was no match for his wife. Domestic violence if I say so myself. Poor Em was whacked on a daily basis by my sister. I rolled my eyes and loudly whistled into the phone.

"What the hell Bella? The phone was right by my ear. I think you damaged them" Em whined.

"Hey Bella!" Rose spoke into the line.

"Hey Rose." I smiled. Rose and I were pretty close now. We would talk on the phone often. Be it bitching, complaining or just gossiping, an hour of that almost every day.

"You are going to have a visitor soon." she sang into the phone.

"What? Who?" Her tone had already put me on edge. She almost sounded giddy with excitement.

I inwardly groaned. Rose sounding giddy was definitely not a good sign. But my curiosity was piqued; the prospect of having a visitor did not seem so bad. But the idea of Rose sounding like a loony Alice did seem to dampen my curiosity.

But I was wondering who the visitor would be. Vampire? Human?

_Stop thinking so much._ I mentally chastised myself.

How bad could it be? I mentally shrugged.

Boy how wrong was I.

**...Two days later...**

**Jasper POV**

Big bright brown eyes look at me in shock. Its feels like her gaze is stripping me off, layer by layer to look at my very soul.

Mesmerized, that's what I feel. Maybe, I can just drown in those beautiful chocolate pools and never drift back.

Involuntarily I lick my lips, causing the same brown eyes to veer down and capture the motion. Upon being freed of the captive gaze, I feel like groaning. 'Don't look away' my mind seems to scream.

My brain finally seems to work, no longer hypnotized by her unwavering gaze. Finally I manage to choke out, "Hello Bella!"

She shakes her head and tentatively steps forward, enveloping me in her delicate arms. I want to groan out loud, if her gaze was mesmerizing, then her scent is surely intoxicating.

Its heaven and hell mixed together. Even in my Bella-induced haze, a part of me notices her scent is muted somehow. Just thinking about the full potence of it makes me shudder.

I growl in the back of my throat. The only word echoing in my brain, 'MINE'.

Funnily enough, bloodlust is the last thing on my mind. I sigh and gingerly wrap my arms around her, restraining myself to not crush her to me. It seems like a difficult task, as my mind seems to have relinquished all control and my body is acting on its own accord. My delicate hug quickly morphs into a tight squeeze as I lower my head to her neck and sniff her.

The constant growl that's emitting from my throat doesn't bother her though. She tightens her arms around me and lays her head on my chest making me sigh deeply even though all I want to do is purr to the heavens at having this sweet angel in my arms.

_Sappy much?_ A sane thought enters my mind. I mentally growl at it to shut up.

This is where she belongs. This is where I belong.

I close my eyes just enjoying the feel, when all of a sudden she snaps out of my arms, standing a few feet away from me.

I growl out loudly before her scent is immediately cut-off. My hazy brain recovers and I shake my head to dispel any lingering thoughts.

I look at her as she thoughtfully cocks her head to one side.

The soft echo of 'Mine' starts again.

Goodness, I pray. What have I gotten myself into?

**There you have it...Jasper and bella...together. ****What do you think of it?**

**I know that I am leaving you'll with more questions than answers but dont worry it shall all be clear soon...**

**All questions as regards Victoria, Leah, Paul etc etc will be answered in the next chapter. Bella will explain it all to Jasper...So all your curiosities about the newborn war as well as Rose and Em's reaction to bella's panther self will be answered.**

**If I ended up tying all the loose ends, the Jasper-Bella interaction would have been postponed for a while and I am sure a few of you'll would have cursed me by then..lol**

**I am going to stop rambling now..**

*****Also SecretEmpath has designed an awesome banner for Still Waters Run Deep...the link is on my profile so go check it out..**

**Until next time..XOXO**


	21. Chapter 20

**Thank you to all those who reviewed, fav'd or put this story on alert. XOXO**

**Beta'd by SecretEmpath**

**Bella POV**

It has been two weeks since we moved to this newly rented house in San Antonio. The insurance money with everything Charlie left me added up to quite a bit. I was no longer bound to Forks. I was free of the gloom and dreary that it represented.

Having wasted no time in selling off our house in Forks, I now proudly owned my own little mansion in Alaska. It should be ready in a few months. The transactions were tedious but nothing was difficult when you've got a vampire brother 'with connections', and not to mention the alluring charm and cunningness of said brother's mate.

Thinking of Rose, actually brings me back to my current predicament; I was currently situated on the porch swing awaiting the arrival of this mystery guest that Rose warned me about. No amount of persuasion or cunningness made her reveal the identity of this guest. I had come quiet close to begging her but my pride finally managed to kick me in the rear before I stooped down to that level.

In the end, all I got from Rose was a 'You'll see' along with what I can only assume was a stupid smirk on her stupid face.

Apparently patience is not one of my virtues.

Leah was currently in Seattle, having taken over the task of getting Vicky her new identity. Leah's fondness for law landed her this job. Emmett had assured me that if anyone can instill fear in Jenks, it's 'pocket-full-of-sunshine' Leah. Poor bloke, I snorted. I actually did pity him.

Paul and Vicky are still in their honeymoon phase, although they are not married. They are currently living out one of Paul's crude fantasies, heaven knows where. But I sure as hell am not curious and told Vicky as much when she started to elaborate.

Now if only my stupid guest would turn up, I could do something productive and get this surprise out of my way. So I sat on the porch swing mulling over the identity of my guest. There was an excited flutter in my stomach at the thought of the visitor. Somehow, I was fairly certain I knew this person or more specifically vampire.

I just hope that it is not _him_.

Little did I know that as usual god seldom answers my prayers. And my worst fears were about to come true.

**Leah POV**

I came to Seattle today to visit Jenks. That piece of slime is so greedy for money that he wouldn't care if you went to him to cover up a murder. Works for me. Less questions, more money and perfect paperwork.

Don't question how I am so well informed about all this. Living, or more specifically, being surrounding by hot-headed werewolves makes one adept at cover-ups as well as in dealing with shoddy beings. It does not hurt that I plan to complete college and become a lawyer.

God knows with Paul around we need a lawyer in the family, as nobody knows what kind of fuckery he can get into. And mind you, the word 'subtle' does not exist in his dictionary.

I am the only person in my family planning to attend college, Bella didn't even finish her graduation, what with the war and Charlie; Vicky has never been to school and Paul is a dropout. Although Paul works at a nearby car shop as a mechanic and Bella is working on her novel. A vampire romance novel. Urgh! I don't understand why people love vampires so much; we werewolves are so much cooler.

We guys are planning to move to Alaska in a year's time, Bella purchased a huge house there with adjoining ten-acres of property. At least we will be able to phase at will and be ourselves over there.

San Antonio is nice, I like it there and living with my family is awesome. But we live in a fairly populated neighborhood and with mine and Paul's tempers; we are always on the verge of phasing. And two huge wolves in the backyard don't go un-noticed by neighbors.

Once I was so mad at that fucker, he was roaming around the house in my favorite bikini, yup that's Paul, he has a sick sense of humor and no shame at all, I was so mad that I phased and ripped that fucker a new one. Once, old Mrs. Tilman (our nosy neighbor) saw me in all my werewolf glory in the backyard and rushed back into her house' and called animal control, when those animal control people came to our house inquiring- I do not know, why they even bothered, the idea itself should be absurd to the humans at least- we were able to put if off saying it was an old-woman's imagination at work. All of us were extra careful then.

Thank god she did not see me phase, there's only so much you could blame on poor eyesight and crazy imagination, the rumors around would have been nasty. Poor lady she still believes there is a wolf on the loose in our neighborhood. I feel bad for her. Insensitive Paul actually spooked and scared her by saying that he had seen the wolf around too. Once he actually went to her house and told her that he saw the wolf lurking around her house, that poor lady almost had a heart attack. Paul could not walk for three days straight after that, us three girls made sure of that. Vicky had actually dragged Paul by his ear to Mrs. Tillman's house and asked him to apologize and assure her that there were no wolves lurking around anywhere. Paul is such an jackass, how many ever times he has his ass whopped, he still never changes and is always his normal asshole self. Idiot. Insensitive jerk.

Yea, our secluded house in Alaska will be a fresh change.

I just got off my flight and was heading towards my car when I smelled a vampire. I was immediately on alert; I knew my smell alone would be the reason for the curious bloodsucker to come seek me out. I don't smell very pleasant to vampires and any person- especially nosy vamps- would want to come see the source of the stench. Well they dint smell like roses to me either. Thank god after the imprinting shit with Paul, Vicky lost the sickly sweet scent of hers. I think since she is mated to a shape shifter her scent is not so overwhelming to us. I don't give a flying fuck about the reason behind her pleasant scent as long as it stays that way.

I did not want any sort of showdown at the airport with the leech and invite unwanted attention, so I made my way to the adjoining forest area, it was secluded there and I knew I would be able to tear the fucker apart and torch his ass without having to worry about garnering any human attention. I carried my kick-ass weapon with me at all times. A zippo.

Oye, I am a smart bitch, also, nothing is more scary to a vampire than fire. All I would have to do is just rip him apart first, their venom is all the fuel I'd need.

My senses were at their werewolf-best and I could hear a pair of footsteps slowly approaching as I waited for the leech to come into view.

Haven't vamps ever heard the phrase 'Curiosity killed the cat'; it was going to kill a bloodsucker today, that's for sure.

He slowly approached and I noticed that he was well built. Guess it might not be so easy to rip him apart, but it was too late to call in reinforcements, who would I call anyways, Vicky and Paul were out at a weekend getaway and Bells said she was at our house, easily an hour away. Shitty 'welcome' home I tell you, but I still love those fuckers.

The vampire was fully in sight now, I started shaking, telltale signs that I was just on the verge of phasing. The leech stood there staring at me, creepy bastard, it angered me even more. I saw the bloodsuckers face, his eyes were blood red, so without further ado I phased. Vicky had red eyes, but she is a vigilante of sorts. She only feeds off of scum, people who don't have a right to live. Though now, her eyes are dark brown, Bella really did wonders on her, anyway, Vicky's eyes are really dark brown so she does not set-off my werewolf instincts even when I know she hunts humans.

This guy though I dint know him and I was not going to take any risks, so not-phasing and chatting was out of question.

The moment I phased and looked into his eyes though, my world stopped. Fuck me running. I fucking imprinted on him. A vampire. Awesome, I love Vicky and Paul, but imprinting on a vampire is not something I wanted, I don't even know what I wanted in the imprinting department, but god sure loves to surprise me.

Hmm, now what to do, I dint have any clothes on and I sure as hell was not going to phase back in front of him. Shit! He looked dumbstruck, I surely took him by surprise, or maybe he recognized our bond too. What the fuck do I do now?

Putting my precious ego aside, I started to go behind a tree so that I could phase back. He started to follow. Idiot. I growled and snapped my teeth at him. He halted his moments and let me continue with the most embarrassing moment of my freaking life.

I phased back behind the tree and peeped at him. His jaw dropped. What can I say, I am pretty. Some of my pride returned as did my sassy self, "You don't want to catch flies " I told him.

"Hmm? Oh! I am sorry miss" he replied.

Aww! How sweet. He looks so cute.

_Oh well look at him, doesn't he look yummy._

Shut up horny Leah! Bad! You're naked and you just met him. You don't want to look like a bitch in heat.

_Pfft!, you are a bitch and since you're already naked, might as well make use of it._

Shut up!Oh god, I am talking to myself and he is looking at me funny.

_Way to make a first impression._

I said 'SHUT UP'

_Aahh. No need to yell bitch. You're on your own._

Thank god. Yummy vamp was still staring at me.

" Will you make yourself useful and get me a pair of clothes. I know you will be able to sniff out my baggage at the parking, I left it near my car. Now shoo"

"Huh?"

Oh my god, did I imprint on a mentally retarded vamp. Just my luck. I tried again

"I said will you get me a pair of clothes from my bag or should I just step out naked?"

"Huh?"

Again. Seriously, what's wrong with him. Urghhh! I am losing my patience; I might as well phase back and knock some sense into him.

"H-E-L-L-O, knock-knock"

"Oh. I apologize. It's just that I am a little surprised"

Like I don't know. Tell me something new.

He continued "I will get you your clothes. But promise me that you will be right here when I return"

Like I am going to run away anywhere naked, "Ya think"

"Yeah right. I am just a little overwhelmed right now. I'll get your clothes, and then we will talk"

Thank heavens. With that he left.

**Bella POV**

_Oh My God_! I mentally cried. Jasper has never looked so hot. That sounds stupid as vampires never change. Maybe my human eyes were extremely weak. How could I have thought Edward to be perfect when this fine specimen was around? Stupid human Bella.

God, he looked sexy.

He seemed to be carved from stone. Beautiful and chiseled. His dark black eyes reflected danger, his gaze trying to hold me captive. His nose was flared and his jaw clenched. Just a hint of untamed below the surface. A part of me feared the consequences of him losing whatever little control he seemed to have whereas a little part of me feverishly hoped he would just let go. Let loose the dangerous side of him.

_Gah! Get a hold over yourself. _Some irritating voice in my head screamed.

I was busy raking my eyes over him than actually look at him. Damn these hormones, I should at least be able to look in his eyes as I speak.

I know my eyes were unstaring and wide open in shock, yet admiring his insanely beautiful features. I was looking at him but not really. A sudden motion captured my attention. _Mental Swoon._ Did Jasper just lick his lips?

_Good job Bella! _I mentally chastised myself. Apparently making myself look stupid was the one human trait that the supernatural side in me decided to retain.

"Hello Bella" Oh my! His voice. It's like liquid chocolate. I want to roll around in it. Forever

_Urgh! _I mentally groan. I swear to God that if I pant or swoon, I am going to fucking kill myself. I mentally imagine myself to tug on my big girl panties. Maybe if I don't have to look at him, it could stop horny-me from jumping him.

Shaking my head, I step forward to hug him, determined to not make a fool of myself.

Blank

Blank

Shit! My mind just went into overload.

Dear god! If only hugging him could paralyze me with such lust, I am fucking doomed. I swear one swoon worthy glance from him and I will just fall apart.

Scratch that. Me hugging jasper is nothing compared to him wrapping me up in his arms. I want to purr. Mmm! I tilt my head a little as he leans down toward my neck._ Just surrender._

_Bad Bella. _I mentally chastise myself. I am not going to make a mockery of myself. 'No self-esteem' play was long over, so no toppling over to entertain vampires.

I snap out of his arms as if I have been burned. My shields snapping around me instantly.

His loud growl of displeasure makes me cock my head in confusion. Although his growl has stirred a dull echo somewhere around my belly. My stomach is doing funny flip-flops. Best not ponder on it right now.

"Hey!" I lamely reply.

He steps forward and I step back. His close proximity is not going to help me so I might as well avoid it.

_Not_ _happening._ He takes two steps forward making me want to yelp. My heart feels like its planning to beat out of my ribcage. I quickly scamper back. This apparently doesn't make him happy as his already black eyes seem to darken even more and a strange determination seems to cross his face, instilling a strange kind of aroused-fear in me. Apparently the horny side of me likes it. _Eww!_

Luckily the buzzing of my phone interrupted our weird mating dance. _Hehe_! I mentally laughed. 'Mating Dance'

**Sorry for such a late update. I am planning for my masters these days with a buckload of other stuff. But I just want to thank all of you'll who reviewed and continue to follow up on this story. Its freaking amazing.**

**Love- amie XX**


	22. Chapter 21

**Thank You to all those who reviewed, fav'd or put this story on alert. As always, you guys made my day :)**

**This is a light chapter and I hope you'll will enjoy it!**

**Peter POV**

_Howdy Peter?  
><em>  
>Go away.<p>

_Someone is a little grumpy today._

At least let me sulk in peace. So kindly…..fuck off.

_What has your panties in a twist?_

Argh! If I torch myself would you die too and never bother me again, because I am seriously telling you that I am just a moment away from hurling myself in a pit.

_You might want to rip a body part then. Otherwise death might be slow and painful._

That's it; I am ignoring you from now on. So spout whatever bullshit you want to, I am NOT listening.

_Okay! Maybe you can wait for another few years to finally meet your mate._

Mate?

_Yes mate. I know where you can find her._

Where?

_Someone was going to ignore me I suppose._

Alright I am sorry. Now will you tell me where I can find her?

_La-la-la..._

Listen fucker, if you don't want me singing 'fuck you' in a high pitched girly voice for the rest of my existence, you better tell me where I can find her. Right the fuck NOW!

_Oooooo! I am so scared. I just pissed my pants. 'Shudder' Oh! Please dear lord save me from this ... this sparkly manly vampire.  
><em>  
>Arghhhhh!<p>

_Alright! Alright! I'll tell you. But be prepared, you are going to be in for a surprise. Your mate is hawt but she is a bitch. Literally! Toodles my dear friend._

Huh? Fucker can't you ever give me straight simple answers.

_Where's the fun in that? Huh?_

Get lost.

…

So this is how I landed at the San Antonio airport eyeing every female, trying to locate my mate. This stupid voice in my head. How is it even a gift when I don't have proper answers? But at least I get to meet my mate today. Ahh( sigh), finally the rest of my existence will be a happy- fuck- filled one.

I hope she has a nice round ass. I am a total ass-man. Not that I don't like the other curvy body parts, but a sexy ass is an immediate turn-on. Shit! I haven't even met my mate and here I am sporting a hard-on. Shitty first impression it is going to be. Haven't gotten laid in a while, but getting a hard-on, without even having met her is plain embarrassing.

Think about something depressing. Ah. Jasper, that crazy fucker. He had come to live with me and Char about five weeks ago. The crazy mix of emotions he was emitting 24/7 would have anyone be depressed. He felt confused- fuckton of confusion, god when he was emitting that emotion I was so confused that I went to the bathroom to take a cold shower and ended up trying to pee. Idiot!

He felt a sense of loss too. Loss and loads of confusion don't make a happy vampire. So I had sent him away to Char's for a few days. God knows I needed to get away from him, otherwise that fucker surely would be missing a few limbs. There is only so much crap that I can take. Feel whatever you want to but atleast don't project. One hundred and fifty years plus vampire and no control over his shit. And what a weird mix of emotions too. I so needed a break from that depressed fucker. Even though he won't admit it, I knew something was bothering him but I did not pry. My 'gift' warned me that he needed time. So I gave it to him, no matter how much I wanted to torture his ass for answers. I maintained my cool but I so did not want to deal with his crazy ass emotions for a few days, so I had asked Char to invite him over for the weekend.

Gah! It feels like me and Char are divorced parents of 'baby jazz'. That ass sure behaves like a five year old. I literally have to coax him to go hunting. Hmm. I sure have babied him a lot.

The relationship between me and Charlotte is that of best friends now, I could never look at her as a sister, that is just twisted and incest to some level. Not that I have any inappropriate feelings for her but I just can't seem to picture her as my sister. But we are like the closest friends.

We have not been married since the last eight years now. We always knew that we were not mates, but we sure did love each other and spent so many years together as husband and wife. I would never regret that and I know Char cherished our moments together too. Jasper took our separation not too well, he was so used to me and Char being together that he took a little time to adjust to the changes.

Char and I had separated a year before we bumped in Garrett, nobody knew about our separation though. We did not wish to share it with anybody, not even Jasper. I did not want any sympathy from anybody. And god knows the Cullen family is ever-ready to dish out unwanted and unappreciated advice. Nosy Fuckers!

We had gotten a divorce but still lived together in the same house albeit in different rooms. Our separation though, was not that hard, sure we lived together as friends, friends with NO benefits (sadly), but there was no discomfort. Our relationship ended gradually and transformed into a beautiful friendship, even Garrett understood that. So today me and Char are like a divorced couple with a kid apparently. Thinking of that fucker, he must be annoying the shit out of them by projecting his cocktail of depressing emotions.

But I was lonely after he left, I always had Char with me and when she found Garrett; Jasper was there, so I had never been 'alone' alone ever. Hence the sulking and shitty mood this morning. But, the thought of finally being able to meet and be with my mate is an overwhelmingly happy and a lusty one. Told yaa I haven't gotten laid in a while. Back to Jasper then.

When he finally left the freak circus - i.e. the Cullen's, I thought he had come back to his senses and was his normal self. Boy! Was I in for a surprise. The day he came to us was anyways shitty, what with Char finally finding her mate, but when the fucker turned up he looked so lost. He did not say much for a while but then told us all about the Cullen's latest human adventure. Were the fuckers out of their mind? Did animal blood actually zap them of their rational thinking capabilities. Nah! I think these people were all loony since like ever. Jasper has become one of them too as that dipshit did not oppose to this ' human-mingling' thing the Cullen's started. Have they not heard about the Volturi or were they just playing smartasses or a game of 'WTF'. Loony bastards.

And to top it all Edward ordered the whole family outta forks. Ordered, literally. Pansy asses they followed whatever that 'never-gotten-laid' fucktard said. Fucktard and pixie controlled the whole fucking family. Carlisle is a pussy, he is just the coven-fucking-leader for nothing, follows blindly and obeys whatever fudge-packer has to say. Yeah, I totally think that Eddie boy is gay. He refused to fuck the succubus- Tanya. Oh my. Which virgin or 'non-virgin' does THAT. So you see. My theory is proved. One simple line deduces that eddie boy is as gay as ….as the sun is yellow.

_Dude I have heard stuff, stuff that doesn't make sense at all, lame stuff, pervy stuff; but gosh! Are you retarded. 'as gay as the sun is yellow'? _

I mentally flipped the fucker off.

Anyways, Me and Char were never fond of that elf Jasper fucked either, that's what she was to me and Char, Jasper's fuck buddy. All that ' jazzy baby' and 'we are vegetarians and so above all vampire race' really got on my nerves. Hunting animals. Yuck. First of all they taste nasty and second of all, why the fuck should we deny ourselves of our natural food source. I would never hunt animals whatsoever. I had tried it once when Jasper and his elf visited. 'Shudder' Just thinking about it makes me want to puke. It was so gross. Horrid. Disgusting. Bleh.

Whenever Jasper came to visit with that nosy elf, I could never fuck Char, listening to her high pitched screeches and wails when her and 'jazzy' were together made my dick shrivel. After they used to leave, I would have to coax it out and up, for some loving.

Once I actually had to restrain Char from ripping that elf apart, that bitch had some serious boundary issues. She had gone up to our room and had started throwing out Char's clothes saying that they were not fashionable and that Char lacked fashion sense, so Alice-the hyperactive, shopaholic elf- would take Char on a shopping trip with her and make Char look presentable. Char was beyond furious, she actually managed to rip off pixies pinky before I was able to restrain her. That shit was awesome. Pixie screamed bloody murder and wailed for two days straight. I know even Jasper was tired of her need for constant attention and over the top drama she managed to create every single time they visited.

After that incident, it was only Jasper that came to visit us. I still thank god for that every single day. I still don't understand how Jasper was able to fuck that pre-pubescent looking elf. He was with her for like fifty years. Whenever I want to get rid of a hard-on, all I have to do is imagine that pixie naked. Whoosh, my balls just retract.

Jasper also is such an idiot, I think he left his brains and his balls with Maria. They must have shrivelled in to non-existence almost, considering Jaspers pussy behavior. I understood his need to stay with the family. He has seen a lot and done a lot, and it takes sometime to overcome all that..blah..blah bullshit.

Understood.

But he let that fucktard walk all over him, belittle him, his 'good-for-nothing and ass-less' bitch order him around. I feel like killing him, even more than killing the Cullen's. The 'major' and ball-less. Haha. I would never say that to his face though. That fucker is stupid, me, I say anything teensy bit insulting or annoying and he rips me a new one. I don't even know how many I have now. Not funny. And pixie and fuckward piss all over him and he will just roll over and ask them to piss over him again. 'Major'….pussy he had become with them. His manliness has returned some now. Thank god.

He did not take all the shit they dished, but they could still fuck him over. How could he allow that? Maybe I'll gift him pink boxers this year. Anonymous. Hehe. Wicked.

_Douche. Your balls won't live to see another pussy then._

WHAT!

_That's right if you follow through this suicidal plan of yours. He is actually going to rip off your balls and burn them._

OUCH. Just that thought has made my poor balls retreat. No more hard-ons for the day now. Poor babies are scared and need time to recover.

_Idiot. Your stupid plans are gonna leave you dick-less for the rest of eternity._

Jasper would never do that. Fucker.

_But you are going to push him over the edge. Dipshit._

You dipshit. I can protect myself. I did not do mani-pedi's in the southern wars. I have a few tricks up my sleeve.

I felt like flipping this mental voice off. Fucker. Irritated the crap out of me, why do I get stuck with such a mal-functional gift. Sure it has saved my life one too many times, but I would have wanted some cool shit, like shooting fire out of my bare hands or maybe telekinesis or any shit for that matter. This annoying voice is so not what I would have asked for if I had a choice. It guides me and all but in a totally fucked up way. I never get straight answers from it and it also makes fun of me. Now which gift does that? Isn't this unfair?

Yeah! But what can little old me do?

_No escape. You're stuck with me. And learn to be a little appreciative; I have saved your ass a number of times. You would have been dead if not for me._

Alright. Now go hibernate.

….

Thank god it was not sunny. I so did not want to sparkle in front of all these people. This is the one thing that I hate the most about us vampires. Who the fuck sparkles? We can't go out in the sun in front of humans. So basically, we vampires scurry away at the first sign of sunlight. I can't even go to the beaches to eye-fuck hot bikini clad babes. It's so sad. I would love to have a hot sexy babe rub lotion all over my body whilst I lie on the beach and enjoy the heat and pretend to get tanned. Ahh. Heaven.

That reminds me, where the fuck is my mate. And who on earth is stinking so bad. Yewwww. Gross.

I could see a sexy-ass woman walking ahead towards the parking lot. I felt this weird sense to follow her. Something was off and my spidey-senses where going haywire.

_Fucktard. That's your mate. And by the way I like the name spidey. So henceforth address me as spidey. I won't reply otherwise._

'wont reply otherwise' I mimicked him. Fuck! My mate. That is my mate. What a fine piece of ass. Ohh, seems like my babies have recovered. Down boy! Not now. Give me a day's time and she will be begging for you.

_Get you head out of the gutter and for once in your god forsaken life listen to me. Follow her. It's all not cherries and roses for you. If you don't listen to me, you will not be getting any for another few decades._

What the hell I am not waiting for that long. I am going to follow my mate. Kiss the hell outta her and then change her. Right the fuck now.

_Are you fucking nuts? Or maybe delusional? Or blind? Or are you mimicking the Cullen's. Asshat. Don't you see she is going to the forest alone. She has obviously sensed you._

Huh? Sensed me? What is she, a dog? I mentally chuckled.

_Argh. Will you just go and follow her._

So that is just what I did. I followed her. She went deeper into the forest. WTF is she crazy. Let me just claim her and change her, and then I will have nice little chat with her. You don't just fucking stroll in a motherfucking forest. Maybe then we can have angry make up sex. Ahh. Awesome

_Will you for once in your life think using your brains and not your dick?_

Gosh. You make me sound so perverted.

_That's because you are perverted. Now stop acting like a teenager seeing a pair of boobs for the first time. And do as I say._

Humph!

I followed after my mate and waited for her to stop. I reached a clearing and saw my-oh my, so beautiful- mate standing in the middle of the clearing facing me. She's vibrating. Funny. Humans don't do that. She was now looking at me and the moment she saw my eyes she transformed into a fucking werewolf.

WTF!

_Told yaa. You were going to be in for a surprise._

Jackass. This is shock. Not surprise. Oh my! My mate is a fucking werewolf. A WEREWOLF.

_Stop freaking out. Your mate is a shape shifter. No full moon shit. She is twenty-three years old. And she recognizes you as her mate. Now if you could just close your mouth and look like a human being- fuck that, look like a sane vam…_

She started walking away from me. I could not allow that. I just met her. I needed her. I tried following her, but she bared her teeth and growled at me.

Oh my I think I am going to jizz my pants. So sexy.

_Are you fucking crazy? You go from shock to horny in no time at all. I know you have not gotten any since a while. But if you try to be a little- umm…..overzealous, she is going to tear you apart. Your mate has a temper. Never mess with her and also FYI don't act like a caveman ever. She will kick your ass six ways to Sunday._

Duly noted.

She went behind a bush and was in her human form again. She peeked from behind it and looked so beautiful. How did I get so lucky?

_Fucker. Your staring at her. Close your mouth and apologize for eye-fucking her._

She must have said something while I was busy ogling her. Shit. I need to pay attention.

"Hmm? Oh! I am sorry miss" I said.

The moment my accent slipped in a little bit. Her eyes got that 'i-want-to-fuck-you' look. She looked so beautiful. I was picturing different ways in which I could fuck her. Got to love Kamasutra.

I knew she was saying something, but I could not register it in my lust filled haze.

"Huh?" was all I could manage.

"…just step out naked?" that's all I could make out. And fuck if that did not sound tempting.

_Will you for the love of god 'listen' to what she is saying. She wants you to go to the parking lot and get her some clothes from her bag. You will be able to sniff it out.  
><em>

"H-E-L-L-O, knock-knock"

Oh fuck! She has been trying to get my attention.

"Oh. I apologize. It's just that I am a little surprised. I will get you your clothes. But promise me that you will be right here when I return" I just had to make sure that she would be here when I returned.

"Ya think" was her sassy reply. Ooohh. I am already falling in love with her.

"Yeah right. I am just a little overwhelmed right now. I'll get your clothes, and then we will talk" with that I walked away.

**How did you like Peter's pov?**

**Just out of curiosity, how many of you'll wish for Bella to imprint on Jasper? Let me know!**

**In the next chapter, we have our sexy major. Yoohoo.**


	23. Chapter 22

_Previously:_

"_Hello Bella" Oh my! His voice. It's like liquid chocolate. I want to roll around in it. Forever_

_Urgh! I mentally groan. I swear to God that if I pant or swoon, I am going to fucking kill myself. I mentally imagine myself to tug on my big girl panties. Maybe if I don't have to look at him, it could stop horny-me from jumping him._

_Shaking my head, I step forward to hug him, determined to not make a fool of myself._

_Blank_

_Blank_

_Shit! My mind just went into overload._

_Dear god! If only hugging him could paralyze me with such lust, I am fucking doomed. I swear one swoon worthy glance from him and I will just fall apart._

_Scratch that. Me hugging jasper is nothing compared to him wrapping me up in his arms. I want to purr. Mmm! I tilt my head a little as he leans down toward my neck. Just surrender._

_Bad Bella. I mentally chastise myself. I am not going to make a mockery of myself. 'No self-esteem' play was long over, so no toppling over to entertain vampires._

_I snap out of his arms as if I have been burned. My shields snapping around me instantly._

_His loud growl of displeasure makes me cock my head in confusion. Although his growl has stirred a dull echo somewhere around my belly. My stomach is making funny flip-flops. Best not ponder on it right now._

"_Hey!" I lamely reply. _

_He steps forward and I step back. His close proximity is not going to help me so I might as well avoid it._

_Not happening. He takes two steps forward making me want to yelp. My heart feels like its planning to beat out of my ribcage. I quickly scamper back. This apparently doesn't make him happy as his already black eyes seem to darken even more and a strange determination seems to cross his face, instilling a strange kind of aroused-fear in me. Apparently the horny side of me likes it. Eww!_

_Luckily the buzzing of my phone interrupted our weird mating dance. Hehe! I mentally laughed. 'Mating Dance'_

**Bella POV**

_Smash!_

What the hell! Before I could even reach to my phone to answer it, Jasper just took the phone off my hands and smashed it to the ground, all the while maintaining eye contact with me. I growled at him as his arms went around my waist dipping me backwards a little. His movements were confusing, not to mention they were scaring the shit out of me. Slowly his head moved towards my throat, his nose skimming my jawline as he proceeded towards my neck.

I was paralyzed with shock! I couldn't move, also I doubt if he'd have let me had I even tried. I wasn't sure if he was tempted by my blood or not, his movements seemed oddly calculated and dare I say…sensuous. Nah! It was more predatory like.

"Jasper" I tried while softly shoving at his chest. Wrong move! Within no time at all, both my hands were gripped in one of his as he growled and licked at my neck. His free hand tangled up in my curls; tugging and pulling to direct my neck in such manner as to provide him better access.

"Jasper" I choked, fear now gripping my insides. A hollow buzzing started in my stomach, leaving me befuddled. I could not decipher my own feelings, although fear was a prominent one, it was not all consuming.

His only answers were more licks, nips and growls. His vigorous attacks on my neck seemed to be directed to elicit a response from me. The only response he got though was terrified squeaks and pitiful pleas.

After a while though, my fruitless attempts to push him off had disappeared and I had surprisingly found myself tilting my neck in sync with his nips and licks. A moan or two might have escaped my lips, but I didn't let it concern me.

Sometime had passed since and instead of him slowing down, the fervor of his kisses increased. My senses were coming back to me though. The haze of mindlessness that surrounded me slowly disappeared and I became aware of my surroundings. The thought that this was Jasper and Alice's mate as well as the realization that I was not a pathetic human anymore invaded my mind.

Finally, I snapped and threw out my physical shield. The result was instantaneous; Jasper was immediately a few feet off me. My shield made a two feet ring around me. His loud growl reached me after I felt him push at my shield, his eyes pitch black. A dangerous aura surrounded him, demanding me to drop my shield, no words spoken.

I gathered my wits and concentrated on strengthening the shield. Bella Swan was her own person and she was not going to bend backwards for any vampire no more.

"Isabella, let down the shield. Now"

Holy mother of god, his gravelly voice sent a shock cascading through my system.

"NO!" I actually shouted at him. All the emotions meddling together into words I was sure to regret in the future, "How dare you? You cannot command me to do anything. If I remember correctly, the last time we met you were more than eager to rip out my throat. What, Alice let you off your leash this once?"

I regretted my words as soon as they left my mouth, though it was nothing compared to the hurt on his face, it cut me like a knife. How could I say such a hurtful thing to him? Neither had he tried to drain me, nor harm me in any manner. The bit about Alice was a low blow and I know it did not hurt him as much as my jibe about him wanting to drain me.

None of the Cullen's except for Em and Rose believed him and here I was, opening those wounds for him. I felt horrible.

My shield dropped instantly, yet he stood standing where he was.

"I am so sorry, Jasper. Please forgive me; I know you didn't lunge after me to drain me. I had seen the look in your eyes. I have believed you all this time. It was Edward who was out of control, not you. I didn't mean anything of what I just said. I am confused and I have some trust issues, especially after what Edward did. You are nothing like him, but I have grouped all the vampires into one category. I am sorry for that, it's just that I was so happy seeing you but all the..all that…um..this", I pointed at my neck, showing of the bright red spot that was hard to miss, "is not what I expected and I don't know…everything is confusing and…", and to my horror I started sobbing. And I couldn't stop.

**I know this is short. But, after I put in so much pain to create Bella-with-a- backbone, I couldn't just let her surrender to Jasper without putting in even a teensy bit of a fight. So before ya'll reach out through the screen to wring my neck, I am just saying that it was necessary.**

**The Bella-Jasper build-up is at its pinnacle and soon there will be more passionate encounters between them. We can't just have them both jumping in the bed, now do we? Wait! Don't answer that, I know all of your answers are going to be a big fat 'YES'**

**But we are going to have to get over Bella's trust issues as well as Jasper's muddled feelings. Soon.**

**And YES Bella will imprint on Jasper, if you have noticed, in my story, all the vamp-werewolf imprints take place only when the werewolf's are in their wolf forms. So, you are right to assume that we are just about to reach that point and it's going to be fantabulous. Just like you'll want.**

**Leave me a buckload of reviews if you'll want the next chapter. And yes that is a threat.**

**Seriously though, over 600 people have this story on their list and yet in terms of reviews it's lagging. The hits and alerts per chapter are amazing, so I just wish you would all put in review too. The math is simple 600 people, and 21 chapters, that leaves me with an…ummm… buckload of reviews.**

***Dips hat and Bows***


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